Now, I try to avoid holiday themed blog posts like most people avoid the plague, much to the irritation of my respected and beloved handler/editor/tiger trainer, who usually has to give me a direct order to get a holiday piece from me. This year, I figured, why not cut short the flurry of emails and the inevitable grumpyness and, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, just do it. But my way.
We have done a lot of posts for Thanksgiving. GBFF laid out a smackdown of the 5 rules for spending Thanksgiving weekend with your SO's family for the first time. FG doubled down with Thanksgiving at Your Boyfriend's home: Know Thy Etiquette, pretty much covering first time nerves for newish couples.
But what about the singletons? Or the ones stuck several states away from family and friends?
Or the ones who, and they truly have my sympathy, have to work without being issued cattle prods and body armor on Black Friday and who spend all of Saturday trying to get the footprints off their spine.
Say, it adds up fast, doesn't it?
Thanksgiving is the big "family" holiday where you are most likely to be on your own, since while most people will tear off their own leg and use the bloody end to beat others out of the way to get home for Christmas, balancing work, life and the chance of a massive feast with relatives you usually dislike is trickier for this strange holiday.
Stop snivelling. Celebrate it! Being alone on Thanksgiving is awesome!
You can eat what you want.
It is a no stress day. Not for you the hassle of wrestling a 20lb turkey and assorted sides to the table. Or watching your kin come near to blows over the correct way to make stuffing. The world's cuisine is your oyster. Rustle up something exotic, something you wouldn't normally try. Tease your tastebuds with the tastes of the Far East or the Deep South.
Try .... oh. You went and bought one of those sad little microwave Thanksgiving dinners. Really not getting into the spirit of this, are you. Avoid those things like the plague. (plague twice in a single post? You are slipping. - Ed.)
No leftover hell.
You know why we eat turkey maybe once or twice a year? 'Cause those things last forever. Three days later and you are still eating turkey and ham with no end in sight, and trying to avoid the accusing eyes of the neatly molded cranberry sauce that no one ever wants but that tradition says must be there.
Your fridge will be completely free of leftovers that you just don't want to eat and eventually throw out.
No relative hell, either.
Sure, you want to spend time with your relatives. All eager to, in fact. Let me rebutt with a simple image. The definition of Thanksgiving in your mind*.
One of those people smells funny. One you haven't forgiven / hasn't forgiven you for some minor slight. One will get drunk and want to fight by 3 o'clock. And one you hate with the fury of a thousand suns.
Family get togethers means family dramz. Do you really need that crap when you are so bloated with food you can hardly move?
No, didn't think so.
You can spend the day naked.
While this seems to be the de-facto uniform for writers (MM, please stop coming in to the office like that. They are threatening to increase our rent again - Ed.) for the vast majority of people, pants are generally expected when dining with guests.
But not just any pants. It is a formal meal, which means uncomfortable pants. Shoes. Ties. Not fun and better avoided.
You have time for reflection.
Listen hard. Infrequent traffic noise. The odd siren as the police respond to another DD or the paramedics to a tryptophan coma or stuffing overdose, but otherwise it is silent. Everything on TV is pretty much a repeat of something you have already seen.
The silence presses in on you. Envelopes and mutes you, forcing you deep into your own mind. Giving you time to think. To be truly thankful that you are alive.
You do what you want - I am gonna re-read the "Book of Counted Sorrows." That always cheers me up.
As you may have guessed, MM will be spending Thanksgiving alone, when he will be deeply and profoundly thankful for the peace and quiet. Or else.
* The picture is the classic Norman Rockwell "Freedom from Want"
We have done a lot of posts for Thanksgiving. GBFF laid out a smackdown of the 5 rules for spending Thanksgiving weekend with your SO's family for the first time. FG doubled down with Thanksgiving at Your Boyfriend's home: Know Thy Etiquette, pretty much covering first time nerves for newish couples.
But what about the singletons? Or the ones stuck several states away from family and friends?
Or the ones who, and they truly have my sympathy, have to work without being issued cattle prods and body armor on Black Friday and who spend all of Saturday trying to get the footprints off their spine.
Say, it adds up fast, doesn't it?
Thanksgiving is the big "family" holiday where you are most likely to be on your own, since while most people will tear off their own leg and use the bloody end to beat others out of the way to get home for Christmas, balancing work, life and the chance of a massive feast with relatives you usually dislike is trickier for this strange holiday.
Stop snivelling. Celebrate it! Being alone on Thanksgiving is awesome!
You can eat what you want.
It is a no stress day. Not for you the hassle of wrestling a 20lb turkey and assorted sides to the table. Or watching your kin come near to blows over the correct way to make stuffing. The world's cuisine is your oyster. Rustle up something exotic, something you wouldn't normally try. Tease your tastebuds with the tastes of the Far East or the Deep South.
Try .... oh. You went and bought one of those sad little microwave Thanksgiving dinners. Really not getting into the spirit of this, are you. Avoid those things like the plague. (plague twice in a single post? You are slipping. - Ed.)
No leftover hell.
You know why we eat turkey maybe once or twice a year? 'Cause those things last forever. Three days later and you are still eating turkey and ham with no end in sight, and trying to avoid the accusing eyes of the neatly molded cranberry sauce that no one ever wants but that tradition says must be there.
Your fridge will be completely free of leftovers that you just don't want to eat and eventually throw out.
No relative hell, either.
Sure, you want to spend time with your relatives. All eager to, in fact. Let me rebutt with a simple image. The definition of Thanksgiving in your mind*.
One of those people smells funny. One you haven't forgiven / hasn't forgiven you for some minor slight. One will get drunk and want to fight by 3 o'clock. And one you hate with the fury of a thousand suns. Family get togethers means family dramz. Do you really need that crap when you are so bloated with food you can hardly move?
No, didn't think so.
You can spend the day naked.
While this seems to be the de-facto uniform for writers (MM, please stop coming in to the office like that. They are threatening to increase our rent again - Ed.) for the vast majority of people, pants are generally expected when dining with guests.
But not just any pants. It is a formal meal, which means uncomfortable pants. Shoes. Ties. Not fun and better avoided.
You have time for reflection.
Listen hard. Infrequent traffic noise. The odd siren as the police respond to another DD or the paramedics to a tryptophan coma or stuffing overdose, but otherwise it is silent. Everything on TV is pretty much a repeat of something you have already seen.
The silence presses in on you. Envelopes and mutes you, forcing you deep into your own mind. Giving you time to think. To be truly thankful that you are alive.
You do what you want - I am gonna re-read the "Book of Counted Sorrows." That always cheers me up.
As you may have guessed, MM will be spending Thanksgiving alone, when he will be deeply and profoundly thankful for the peace and quiet. Or else.
* The picture is the classic Norman Rockwell "Freedom from Want"
Speaking as someone who has to plan and prepare for house guests staying over the Holidays - this sounds amazing!
It is going to be complete and utter bliss.
Its all about a Delmonico steak for one!
While I would agree with you in years past, and doubtless in the future as well - this year I am looking forward to the full-on family Thanksgiving experience!!
My daughters and I are travelling over 1500 miles to spend roughly 10 days in the bosom of my family and friends. It will be the first holiday EVER that my daughters have spent with MY family. All holidays for the past 12 years have been spent with my ex's family.
So yes, there will be one who smells funny, one who wants to fight, and one I hate with the fury of a thousand burning suns - but they are the only family I have and I will treasure every moment!