One argument I don't get is the idea that men don't know how to do housework. Most men I know know how to do housework. They just don't want to do housework. This makes them like approximately 100% of the population of the world.
There are lots of solutions to this problem: When one person does housework, the other does housework as well, or some tasks are divided in certain ways, like one person doing the cooking and the other doing the dishes. But the point is, you have to find a solution, and you have to stick with it, pure and simple.
Most people come up with elaborate psychological theories, most of which I'm calling crap on. No, when it comes to housework, there are two rules that have to be followed, and they're fairly simple.
One: Labor Has To Be Divided In A Way That Both Parties View As Fair
This one is pretty basic: If you're not doing your fair share of the housework, it's going to be pretty obvious. But it can also surprise people when they actually talk about what they do, and who does it, and what's involved in doing it. So understand, first of all, who's taking care of what already.
There are lots of solutions to this problem: When one person does housework, the other does housework as well, or some tasks are divided in certain ways, like one person doing the cooking and the other doing the dishes. But the point is, you have to find a solution, and you have to stick with it, pure and simple.
Two: Both Sides Have To Accept That 'Their' Way Is Not The Only Way
This is, by far, the biggest sticking point.
"Clean" is subjective. One person's reasonable job of sweeping is another person's mess. One person's way of cleaning is completely against the laws of common sense to another.
But, here's the thing, and this is especially true if you delegate work to somebody: Once you give them a task, your sole requirement needs to be that it gets done. Maybe ask for a timetable, or when a certain item reaches a certain level of disgusting that it be cleared out. Expecting somebody to follow an eleven-point list or "I'll do it later" isn't a good way to handle these problems, either.
The simple fact of the matter is, you have to meet halfway on this. There's wiggle-room; if something disgusts you, then something disgusts you, and the other person needs to do it, or you both need to if you both find it equally disgusting.
But either way, don't try to turn it into a "Do it my way" task: Part of housework is letting people do things the way they need to.
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These are both excellent rules! My dad needs to learn the second one. He has this habit of hovering over my mom (usually if she's making pancakes). Whenever she turns around and asks what the issue is, he'll say in a quiet voice, "You're doing it wrong." He gives her a small smile until she gets annoyed and leaves.
Dad, other people can make pancakes.
My brother needs to read this...