In the ongoing debate about sex education in our country, increasingly it has become clear there is one group that we've overlooked in teaching about the birds and the bees: our state and federal politicians.
I bring this up because a recent anti-abortion bill declared that life begins, uh, the first day of the period a woman gets before she becomes pregnant. Also, she needs to wear a big hat so everybody knows she's, like, totally PMSing. Because it's icky. There's scary things in naughty places. FEAR THE VAGINA! FEEEEEEEAAAAAAARRRRRR!!!
Clearly, our state and federal legislators have never been educated about the birds and the bees. We need to sit down with them and explain that when a man and a woman love each other very much, a magic wooden wand appears and...
Dropping the sarcasm for a minute, this is worrying, regardless of how you feel about the political issue at hand.
This isn't about abortion, to me. Everybody's got their own feelings about that and I'm not going to argue a person's feeling are invalid. Instead it's about basic common sense.
There are a lot of things we can legislate, but one thing we can't is biology. A woman can't control when she gets her period, or time when she's going to conceive. Either it's going to happen or it's not. She can certainly make an effort to do so, but it's not like she can install little turbo ramps for sperm or something. Although that would be awesome and hilarious and somebody should totally engineer those. The point is, this kind of thing is pretty hit-or-miss.
More to the point, legislators don't get to define what "pregnant" is. That's what doctors are for. That's their entire job. They spend years in school to be able to tell you that you're pregnant, what you're having, and whether it'll be reenacting "It's Alive" in the delivery room. Anybody else trying to define what "pregnant" is literally makes no sense. If they pass a law saying gravity is against the law, what are we supposed to do, start jumping up and down all the time?
I'm opposed to laws telling people what to do with their bodies for various reasons, but the most basic is this: some things in our bodies just aren't up to us. Passing a law like this is inherently unfair, because there's simply no way to obey it. Not killing people? Fairly easy, unless you're in rush hour traffic or somebody's being a douche on the bus. Not stealing other people's stuff? Pretty simple.
Telling our bodies not to do things they're designed to do? Unless they want to pay for the Buddhist monk training, maybe we shouldn't be passing laws like that.