You know what's really surprising about Tiger Woods cheating on his wife? Nothing. Not one gosh-darned thing.
He's a professional athlete, right? Surely you've heard about Kobe Bryant and Chris Evert and Steve McNair (RIP) by now. He's rich and famous, right? I assume you're also familiar with Bill Clinton and David Letterman and Hugh Grant and hundreds more celebrities (women, too) who've been caught running around on their partners. And then there are the ones you haven't heard about. Cheating celebrities are like roaches: for every one you see, there are 100 more hiding in the walls out of sight.
Why are we surprised? Some people cheat, some don't. Celebrities are no different, except that they have more fame and money than most of us, which gives them an edge if they are on the prowl, or makes them a bigger target for people who like sleeping with celebrities.
The only thing that makes Tiger's infidelity a story is that we thought a guy like him couldn't do such a thing. "Oh, he's so talented." "He seems like such a nice family man." "He's so cute!" Uh huh. Wake up, people. Celebs are just like us. Tiger may be an exceptional athlete, but why do we think a guy who can hit a little ball into a hole is better than any other guy?
If anything, the rich and famous are more susceptible to infidelity. They tend to get insulated from reality by believing their own press and the endless ass-kissing from fans and from the yes-men with whom they surround themselves. At some point their oversized egos decide that they can do whatever the hell they want and not get caught.
Yes, even sweet little Tiger. It can happen to athletes, politicians, actors, musicians, preachers, doctors, teachers or anyone else that people admire and consider infallible. They aren't. They are human like the rest of us, and we are foolish to think otherwise. The only surprising thing about the whole Tiger story is that we are surprised by it, that we continue to think of celebrities as role models. They aren't.
Do I think what Tiger Woods did was wrong? Absolutely. Do I think he was dumb to think he wouldn't get caught? Yep. Do I feel sorry for his wife and kids, who asked for none of this? Very much so.
But am I surprised by what Tiger did? Not for a second. Neither should you.
He's a professional athlete, right? Surely you've heard about Kobe Bryant and Chris Evert and Steve McNair (RIP) by now. He's rich and famous, right? I assume you're also familiar with Bill Clinton and David Letterman and Hugh Grant and hundreds more celebrities (women, too) who've been caught running around on their partners. And then there are the ones you haven't heard about. Cheating celebrities are like roaches: for every one you see, there are 100 more hiding in the walls out of sight.
Why are we surprised? Some people cheat, some don't. Celebrities are no different, except that they have more fame and money than most of us, which gives them an edge if they are on the prowl, or makes them a bigger target for people who like sleeping with celebrities.
The only thing that makes Tiger's infidelity a story is that we thought a guy like him couldn't do such a thing. "Oh, he's so talented." "He seems like such a nice family man." "He's so cute!" Uh huh. Wake up, people. Celebs are just like us. Tiger may be an exceptional athlete, but why do we think a guy who can hit a little ball into a hole is better than any other guy?
If anything, the rich and famous are more susceptible to infidelity. They tend to get insulated from reality by believing their own press and the endless ass-kissing from fans and from the yes-men with whom they surround themselves. At some point their oversized egos decide that they can do whatever the hell they want and not get caught.
Yes, even sweet little Tiger. It can happen to athletes, politicians, actors, musicians, preachers, doctors, teachers or anyone else that people admire and consider infallible. They aren't. They are human like the rest of us, and we are foolish to think otherwise. The only surprising thing about the whole Tiger story is that we are surprised by it, that we continue to think of celebrities as role models. They aren't.
Do I think what Tiger Woods did was wrong? Absolutely. Do I think he was dumb to think he wouldn't get caught? Yep. Do I feel sorry for his wife and kids, who asked for none of this? Very much so.
But am I surprised by what Tiger did? Not for a second. Neither should you.
I was just saying this same thing last night. Why is anyone surprised? He's rich and famous. His perception and sense of entitlement is extremely different from ours.
And honestly? I love when "clean" celebrities are exposed. I have a thing for gossip blind items (yay for junk food for the brain!) and always laugh when I realize, yet again, that none of these people are who their publicity makes them out to be. And I wish some of them would be stripped bare to the fraud that they are.
Oh I don't know, on the radio, in conversations all over the place I hear over and over again: "It just goes to show that even Tiger Woods is human." When did cheating on your wife become 'being human'? Maybe I'm hopelessly naive, but I was under the impression that cheating wasn't the norm.
Am I surprised that he cheated? I'm genuinely surprised when anyone cheats. However, I do agree that cheating is probably more prevalent in celebrities, if only because they may have random strangers throwing themselves at them. In any case, I don't really know much about the situation, I'm pretty sure the first mention of Tiger Woods gossip I read was on here, since this is my number one procrastination destination.
"When did cheating on your wife become 'being human'?"
Your social conditioning is showing. Put it away, you are scaring the children. Men are biologically hardwired to sleep with as many women as possible to pass on his genes. Biological fact that's been known as fact since Dr. Kinsey got his grove on. We women have also known this since time immortal. It goes against their hardwire to NOT cheat.
Women are biologically hardwired to seek out the strongest man she can and reproduce with him, hopfully having stronger children. Fact.
The rest is social conditioning that can sometimes over-ride the biology. Sometimes. Not all the time. Such as fat Ethopians. Biologically they are tall and thin (I'm thinking of a certain tribe, not the whole of Ethopia) but when they come here to the states and get a sample of our choice of food, some become fat (this really goes for anyone who's biologically set up to be thin but instead becomes fat because of the American lifestyle). So there you have a social thing (eating more food is socially acceptable here) that overides the biology. Ok, that was a poor example. Really poor. Just saying, I'm surprised when anyone manages to KEEP it in their pants.
I am not surprised by anything that comes out of famous people.
Hahahahaha yeah... I truly did think about the biological implications of cheating, but it seems to me that people overcome their biological hard-wiring all the time, even in worse situations than whether or not you are going to have sex with the chick standing at the bar. I actually dislike the notion that our biological impulses can be used as an excuse to socially reprehensible behavior. To say that we do these things just as a biological urge to advance the species is... too simple I think.
Take addiction for example, our hard-wiring allows us to be completely addicted to things that are not good for us, but recovering alcoholics exist, former drug addicts, former smokers, etc. Obviously, we humans, overcome purely biological impulses all the time, through discipline, reason, and an 'enlightened' morality. These are all 'social conditioning' factors, but they should not just be dismissed, especially as something that only sometimes overrides our biological conditioning.
Let's take the actual biological hardwiring device: The limbic system. It is, at it's simplest, the basic fight or flight center of the brain, as well as the part that compels us to mate. This is exactly what you are talking about when you say biological hard-wiring. It also plays a part in social bonding between others in the species, like mother and child for instance. A child may fail to thrive if his mother can't socially bond with him, this is not good for the species. If we can consider that everyone is looking out for number one, and that morality at its basest is the highest standard of behavior accepted by the majority of the species. It's easy to see that adhering to the highest standard would be the most beneficial to the species. That's not to say we should all be the paragon of virtue, we are all looking out for ourselves primarily. It could be argued, and it should be argued for many species that self-interest IS moral, and adhering to your most base biological impulses allows the species to flourish.
This is not the case for humans. Despite how we might want to act basely, we have an evolved brain, the ability to reason, and an enlightened sense of what is good for us. We are social animals biologically, and we need to exist in a social construct. Which means rules, and values, and a group sense of morality. If we were just acting on our biological impulses, doing whatever we want, we might start to be alienated from one another, trust could crumble; as Thomas Hobbes has said, life would be nasty, brutish, and short. Which means that the idea of cheating being reprehensible behavior is just as important as the biological urge to procreate. It is hardwired within us to be social, and to do that we need to follow the social construct.
All that being said, the social construct could change. I don't think cheating is absolutely wrong, the notion gives me a bad feeling, I wouldn't do it, and I wouldn't condone it in others, but the 'enlightened morality' that we all have is based solely on the language we've constructed, it's not a reality. But we need to follow it, or act to change it I suppose.
Buuuut... I'm not a biologist, or neurologist, or any 'ist', so I could be wrong. I've taken to blending biology with philosophy, it's interesting.
Haha:
"Hello, my name is Tiger, and I cheat on my wife. Repeatedly."
"Hello, Tiger!"
I'm not concinced by that theory that said that human males are genetically programmed to spred their semen in most women to pass on their genes. A lot of animals mate for life. Mostly birds and fishes, but some mammals too.
Truth is, humans have been socially monogamist for so long it's hard to know how we would conduct if we were to respond on instinct only.
We can't even relate to our simian cousins since there are all kind of sexual conducts among monkeys and apes species: chimps are rapists, bonobos settle every conflicts with sex (even between same sex induviduals), gorillas mate for life and oran outang are basically hermits that only meet each other during mating season.
A lot of cheating men uses the biology excuse. But to me, it's nothing more than that: an excuse; no better than "I needed a back rub massage and you weren't around."
I highly doubt that men are looking to reproduce as much offspring, by cheating on their partners. I think reproduction is the last thing on their minds when they are cheating.
From a biological perspective, yeah, male species have been shown to mate with as many female partners to pass more of their genes on, and female species have been shown to mate with males who have overcome some environmental disability. But to use this as an explanation for cheating, I think, is stretching it a little too far.
Cheating is unacceptable, period. Unless you're in an open relationship, but then it wouldn't be called cheating, right?
Don't we all choose to do things that we know are not right, yet we still go through with them? There's a thought process involved, so we are well aware of what we should or shouldn't do. In my opinion, you don't just forget about your partner when you are cheating, there's got to be some motive behind it, as well as a choice to go through with it.
I don't think it's just the rich and famous factor. Plenty of rich and famous don't cheat. Some people are just more prone to cheat than others.
And, I'm sorry, but I think to an extent the wife knew it was happening before it all came out. You don't think David Letterman's girlfriend, who fathered his child and who he still didn't marry, didn't suspect something was going on all these years?
No matter how hard we try, we all fail. We all make mistakes and for whatever reasons, we make poor choices that affect the other people in our lives. Some people fail by going into more debt than they can handle, some turn to alcohol or drugs or overeating to avoid their problems, some gamble away their life savings, some are unfaithful to their spouses, some desert or abuse their children.
Others fail, but by what is judged to be a lesser degree---they forget to pay the electric bill, they drink too much at the office Christmas party, they spend too much on frivolous "things" and then don't have enough to pay for their kids' lunch money at school, they are constantly late for work and end up getting fired as a result, they are lonely and seek out attention from the opposite sex in inappropriate ways. Perhaps they are overstressed, and they yell at their kids when they should have more patience. The list could go on forever. Some people make what are judged to be really BIG mistakes and some make what are considered to be small mistakes, but they are still failures to some degree.
It is true that celebrities have access to more money and have people at the ready to satisfy their every whim. Their position and power can sometimes go to their heads in such a way that they think they can do anything they want without suffering any consequences. The flip side of that is that they are also under constant scrutiny. Every move they make is being watched. Any hint of impropriety of any kind and the media is ready to jump on it and turn it into trashy tabloid news. Some times these things get twisted and exaggerated and made into something much bigger than they really are. Sometimes the media coverage barely scratches the surface of what all has gone on. I don't envy the way celebrities are treated, and I don't take joy in hearing about their missteps and foibles and indiscretions either.
I guess my point is that I haven't walked in Tiger's shoes. I haven't lived his life. I don't know why he (or any other celebrity) has made the choices that he has made or what the circumstances are surrounding them. He admits to having "transgressions" in his life that he regrets. I think we have all done things in our lives that we regret, whether they are big or small. The difference is our failures don't make the news. So, no, I'm not surprised that he has made mistakes. It is not my place to pass judgment on his actions. Actually, I think we would all do well to worry more about keeping our own noses clean and to worry less about what mistakes others are making.
Nicely said, Daisy! I agree - let's all mind our own beeswax and stop being so judgy-judgy.
I agree with Cary's original point, too. Why is anyone suprised that a professional athlete with unlimited resources is screwing around on his *cough*trophy*cough* wife? I'd be surprised if he wasn't, but then again I don't think much of most celebrities.
I don't think anyone is really surprised, it's just there is only so much that can be told about Jennifer, Miley aka. Hannah Montana (it's surprising the creativity they had for that name) , Lindsay or Angelina and Brad before it becomes very old and boring.
So, the Tiger news is like a new blog from one of the GuySpeak guys - refreshing and new - and the world will never be stale.