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The Reddit Chastity Belt Man And The Abused Mindset

If you haven't yet seen this, a grown man has been emotionally abused by his wife into wearing a chastity belt.  There's no photos at the links, but you can click through and see the results.

I got sent this by a few readers, all asking me the same thing: Is this abuse?

Yes.  Oh, sorry, there wasn't enough emphasis here: YES.

This is true regardless of gender, by the way.  A woman being forced to wear one of these things by her partner would be every bit as horrifying.  But the whole thread, accidentally or deliberately, is an unpleasant exploration of the abused mindset.

Fictional or not, and some are reasonably skeptical of a story on the Internet fairly close to impossible to confirm, the story is fairly straightforward.  It started small, as a joke, and slowly grew into something abusive.  The saddest thing is that the guy repeated tries to justify it as "not so bad" and claims the only problem is that he'd be nagged about it constantly.

One of the points I discuss repeatedly here is that relationships are built on mutual trust.  No trust, no relationship.  There's more than one reason for that, but one of the key ones is that abuse, mental, emotional, or physical, grows from mistrust.  Possibly the worst is the abuse that stems from a lack of trust the abused has nothing to do with.  

But the cycle is the same: One party uses their mistrust as a weapon to force the other into something.  The words are the same, too: "If you really love me..." or "You make me do this..."  It could be a chastity belt.  It could be a pregnancy.  It could be a financial situation where they're totally dependent on the other person.  

So, to this redditor, and anybody else trying to prove their trustworthiness to a person they love to their own detriment: As hard as it is, get out.  A person who does not trust you ultimately does not love you.

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3 Comments

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That whole thing and pictures attached is the most fucked up thing I think I have ever seen. I cannot put into words how sad I am for the man and its mostly because I think he will not leave her, I hope he would, but sadly I just dont think he will. How the fuck can there be any question if this is abuse????

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That is truly f**'ed up

I find it hard to believe it is real

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