So there's this highly dubious "study" going around the Web that claims that staring at breasts can improve heart health in men. In a related story, the water I'm currently drinking is wet.
According to the elite team of Germandirtbags scientists who conducted this groundbreaking work of incredibly necessary medical research, men whose eyes were glued to gazongas on a daily basis experienced fewer heart problems and lower blood pressure than men who refrained from being total gross pigs. Five hundred men participated in the study, half of whom were instructed to refrain from ogling yambos, bazoombas, and other cartoonish names for female mammary glands for five years.
A few things about this.. .
-- Who are the scientists who conduct these studies? It seems every day there's a new study that proves some incredibly obvious fact, like, say, that men prefer to get their news from attractive anchorwomen or that, to quote the great Canadian '80s rock band Loverboy, everyone is literally "working for the weekend." Often, these studies contradict each other. Facebook is making people more self-centered! No, wait, Facebook improves self-esteem in women! How about a study that determines how much time is wasted conducting all these useless studies?
-- There is no way that a group of men went five years without even so much as glancing at cleavage. That is just absurd. That's like me getting through an entire blog post without referencing Nicki Minaj. It's just not going to happen.
-- No, seriously, who funds these studies? Is conducting obvious studies all you need to do to be a scientist these days? If deducing that men are more relaxed when they look at breasts, then give me a white coat and call me "Mr. Science Guy."
-- I propose that these same scientists conduct a study examining the correlation between men who check out another woman's rack in front of their significant other and men who feel a sudden sharp pain in their crotch region immediately after.
What do you think? Would you let your guy check out some random lady's knockers if it meant he'd have a healthy heart? Or, if you catch him ogling, is it more likely to lower his life expectancy?
According to the elite team of German
A few things about this.. .
-- Who are the scientists who conduct these studies? It seems every day there's a new study that proves some incredibly obvious fact, like, say, that men prefer to get their news from attractive anchorwomen or that, to quote the great Canadian '80s rock band Loverboy, everyone is literally "working for the weekend." Often, these studies contradict each other. Facebook is making people more self-centered! No, wait, Facebook improves self-esteem in women! How about a study that determines how much time is wasted conducting all these useless studies?
-- There is no way that a group of men went five years without even so much as glancing at cleavage. That is just absurd. That's like me getting through an entire blog post without referencing Nicki Minaj. It's just not going to happen.
-- No, seriously, who funds these studies? Is conducting obvious studies all you need to do to be a scientist these days? If deducing that men are more relaxed when they look at breasts, then give me a white coat and call me "Mr. Science Guy."
-- I propose that these same scientists conduct a study examining the correlation between men who check out another woman's rack in front of their significant other and men who feel a sudden sharp pain in their crotch region immediately after.
What do you think? Would you let your guy check out some random lady's knockers if it meant he'd have a healthy heart? Or, if you catch him ogling, is it more likely to lower his life expectancy?
I use to audit scientist & chemist for a living. I thought about the crazy “theories” they use to come up with. One said he was conducting an experiment changing the molecules in alcohol with the human body. He said after countless hours of research he concluded that it possible to take vodka or tequila & change it molecular structure within our system. The end product you ask? Urine. LOL
As for cleavage, they don’t get out much so they really ogle & drool over it. I can see those men coming up with a study on that too. Thanks for the laugh Nick, it was priceless. In the end guys are just guys…., with or without a lab coat.
I don't care if he peeks, I look to, not so much at women, but occasionally there are a pair of breast hanging out so far that you can't look away, but I mostly take little peeks at attractive men in tight pants. As long as he's subtle and doesn't make me feel like I'm not pretty for never looking at me, we're good, we all have eyes.
I need a white coat too, Nick. Because there are many "studies" that I need to perform :) such as expanding this study to see if actually touching said female mammary glands, increases heart rate.
Wow the things people are going about stating as research scientific smh lol.
He can look at mine all he wants, but if he looks at someone else's he better ask my opinion.
I'm going to go with the former of that question.
Uh, my opinion is the same after reading this as it was before: people look at one another. It happens. We glance at others and look them up and down all the time, and our eyes often stray to the more explicit parts, if only for half a second. That's normal.
What I would NOT want to see my boyfriend doing is actively checking other women out. And by that, I guess I mean looking at her in a way that isn't subtle, and also for longer than is necessary (as for how long "necessary" is, I couldn't tell you), and, you know, if he starts winking or something, yeah, that's just disrespectful to me.
So, yeah, looking at boobs is healthy, because sexual attraction increases the heart rate, which is good exercise for it, I guess. Looking at porn, masturbating, and sexual behaviour all achieve this end, too. So, really, there's no reason to excessively check out other people when you have a partner that can provide you with a show AND MORE. Hahaha.
Okay, the site that Nick linked to says that the study has been discovered to be a hoax...after the article was already published.
Discovered?!
They didn't check for its legitimacy BEFORE talking about it on live television?!
I don't care what the study is about. The fact that the news station decided to talk about this study and its evidence/conclusions without checking if it's credible is ridiculous.