Master daters, take note. A recent study on dating preferences has confirmed what I've always known: your entire life is an American Idol audition. Although as Ive recently learned thanks to some powerful medication, not literally, as I once believed.

But the fact remains, in the linked study, a subject's affinity for a potential date was greatly affected by how much they thought others in the room (even total strangers) approved or disapproved. If the crowd was giving a 10 a "7" vibe, you'd perceive him as an 8.5.

Theoretically then, if you crammed enough bitter exes into a room, you could cause a beautiful person to suddenly appear shriveled and hag-ish. I call it the "hag distortion field," but unfortunately the scientists conducting the study have thus far refused to pursue their research to such extremes, or indeed acknowledge my existence.

In the meantime, there's a much more practical way to capitalize on this information. The next time you're out with several like-minded singles, rather than clustering, fan out, casually eyeing one another as if jealous or approving strangers. In other words, use your friends as "audience plants," there to stack the crowd in your favor.

If you can focus enough of your positive energy onto a single member of your party, they may well collapse into a black hole that attracts men instead of particles (but, just to be clear, does NOT stretch them out into a single line of atoms before crushing them into nothingness and vibrating their essences to places unknown).