When Catherine (Kate) Middleton weds England's Prince William this Friday, she puts herself at the front of the queue to become the next queen of that glorious realm. No, I'm not forgetting Prince Charles' wife, Camilla Parker-Bowles. Whether or not 'Milla will be given the title of queen when Charles takes the throne remains a topic of debate, as her divorced status might preclude her from that designation. Stay tuned.

Either way, Kate will likely have plenty of time to watch and learn and decide how she will perform as queen when the time comes. Besides learning the ropes from her new grandmother-in-law, a woman known to have an opinion or three, Kate might also look to the great queens of history as role models. I would simply advise her to choose carefully which ones she emulates, because they are what you might call a mixed bag:

QUEEN MARY I (England)
(1516-1588)

The daughter of Henry VIII was the first woman to be crowned ruler of England, but that's about the only good thing you can say about her. In the process of restoring England to Roman Catholicism, she had the annoying habit of burning religious dissenters (i.e. Protestants) at the stake. That's why they call her Bloody Mary.

QUEEN ISABELLA (Spain)
(1451-1504)

Izzy and her husband, Ferdinand II, brought unity and stability to the various regions of Spain. She was also the famous patron of Christopher Columbus, sponsoring his exploration of the New World. Unfortunately, the Catholic queen was a wee bit intolerant, forcing Jews, Muslims, and other non-Catholics to convert or die. Just to make sure the converts really meant it, she also instituted a little thing called the Spanish Inquisition, and we've all heard how fun that was.

QUEEN ELIZABETH I (England)
(1522-1603)

Here's a chick with a great reputation, and deservedly so. Sort of. She came to power at a time when Spain and France were battling over who would take control of little ol' England. Instead, shrewd Liz Uno spent her half-century reign turning her nation into a major world power in its own right. In doing so, however, she killed a lot of Catholics and sponsored slave raids on Africa. Hey, nobody's perfect.

MARY STUART (Scotland)
(1542-1587)

Stuart, a.k.a. Mary, Queen of Scots was suspected in the murder of her husband (and cousin--ew!) Henry, and also tried at least three times to assassinate her other cousin, Queen Elizabeth, so she could claim the English monarchy. Bad move. Liz tossed Mary in jail for a couple of years (19, actually), then commuted the rest of her sentence by lopping off Mary's head.

CATHERINE II (Russia)
(1729-1796)

History calls her Catherine The Great because she revitalized and expanded her homeland. She was also a notorious horn dog who had numerous affairs and was rumored (falsely) to have died while gettin' busy with a horse. Here's my favorite tidbit, though: during Cat's reign, anyone who pissed off the empress was made to squat in the middle of the palace for days, clucking like a hen and pecking his food from the floor. I wish I could have seen that.

Good luck, Katie. We await your legacy. Skip the stake-burnings and you should be fine.