Introducing "The Week In Douche," a new feature which spotlights notable douchebags in the news. So many douchebags, so little time!
This week in douche:
-- Remember Dilbert? You know, that comic strip about the office...or maybe it's about a giant dog....I forget. Anyway, Dilbert creator Scott Adams drew controversy this week when he compared women to children and the mentally handicapped in a blog post about equal rights in the workplace. The guy who gave us such memorable creations as Dilbert and, uh, Dogbert, wrote:
"The reality is that women are treated differently by society for exactly the same reason that children and the mentally handicapped are treated differently. It's just easier this way for everyone. You don't argue with a four-year old about why he shouldn't eat candy for dinner. You don't punch a mentally handicapped guy even if he punches you first. And you don't argue when a women tells you she's only making 80 cents to your dollar. It's the path of least resistance. You save your energy for more important battles."
The office is so crazy, right?? Dilbert's boss is all like, "Dilbert, where is that report??" and Dilbert's all, "I filed it in the circular folder, sir." And then the third panel is a drawing of the trash can! Hilarious! Oh, wait. This guy is nuts. (You can read Adams' original blog post, and his snotty rebuttal, here.)
Adams goes on and on about "men's rights," as if that's a thing that we should be worrying about in the workplace. Look, Mr. Dilbert, nobody is saying that anyone should get special treatment that isn't merit-based. All anyone--be they male, female, or dog who can somehow walk on two legs--wants is a fair shake. It's guys like you who give us all a bad name and poison intelligent discourse with your misogynist, inflammatory rhetoric. Stick to what you know, Scott-- writing puns and drawing adorably wry cartoon dogs wearing nerd glasses. (Oh, Dogbert. I could never stay mad at you!) If you really want to do something to help women in the workplace, you should change Alice's hairstyle. The poor woman's been rocking that triangular bouffant since about 1990.
-- What's douchier than bragging about your girlfriend on Facebook? Bragging about your fake girlfriend on Facebook! A new program called Cloud Girlfriend lets lonely guys create the perfect imaginary Facebook girlfriend who will post lovey-dovey messages on their wall, "like" their hilarious status messages about last night's Celebrity Apprentice and eventually trigger a nuclear holocaust once it achieves sentience. (Seriously. These "robot girlfriends" will be humanity's downfall.)
Sounds perfect, right? Guys in a relationship are catnip to the ladies! Who cares if that relationship is actually just a Facebook spambot? Sign me up! Well, losers, don't go dumping that "girlfriend in Canada" just yet. (What if your girlfriend actually did live in Canada? No one would ever believe you!) Since Facebook's terms of services prohibits fake accounts (and, one would assume, accounts run by a weird girlfriend-creating artificial intelligence program), "Cloud Girlfriend" won't be cluttering up your wall with cute-sy puppy videos and "U help me to understand this thing you humans call love!" messages anytime soon.
So who's the douche here? The inventors of Cloud Girlfriend for coming up with such a lame idea or Facebook for crushing the hopes of sad dudes the world over? I'm going with Facebook. The site is already teeming with fake, spam-y profiles and stupid apps that post useless stuff on your wall. What's one more app going to matter? If having a fake Facebook girlfriend gives one guy the confidence to ask out a real girl, then it'll have done some good. Besides, sad, lonely guys are still going to friend fake porn-y profiles. At least this way their moms will think they've finally met a nice gal.
-- Everyone's talking about the USC students who engaged in some naughty public rooftop boot-knocking. Hot! But, wait! The guy in the photos is a member of Kappa Sigma, the fraternity who recently circulated a horribly sexist email which said women should be treated as "targets" since they're "not actual people." It's tough to virtually fist-bump a dude who keeps such douche-tastic company.
Got any "douches of the week"? Chris Brown, perhaps? Or your ex? Let us know!
This week in douche:
-- Remember Dilbert? You know, that comic strip about the office...or maybe it's about a giant dog....I forget. Anyway, Dilbert creator Scott Adams drew controversy this week when he compared women to children and the mentally handicapped in a blog post about equal rights in the workplace. The guy who gave us such memorable creations as Dilbert and, uh, Dogbert, wrote:
"The reality is that women are treated differently by society for exactly the same reason that children and the mentally handicapped are treated differently. It's just easier this way for everyone. You don't argue with a four-year old about why he shouldn't eat candy for dinner. You don't punch a mentally handicapped guy even if he punches you first. And you don't argue when a women tells you she's only making 80 cents to your dollar. It's the path of least resistance. You save your energy for more important battles."
The office is so crazy, right?? Dilbert's boss is all like, "Dilbert, where is that report??" and Dilbert's all, "I filed it in the circular folder, sir." And then the third panel is a drawing of the trash can! Hilarious! Oh, wait. This guy is nuts. (You can read Adams' original blog post, and his snotty rebuttal, here.)
Adams goes on and on about "men's rights," as if that's a thing that we should be worrying about in the workplace. Look, Mr. Dilbert, nobody is saying that anyone should get special treatment that isn't merit-based. All anyone--be they male, female, or dog who can somehow walk on two legs--wants is a fair shake. It's guys like you who give us all a bad name and poison intelligent discourse with your misogynist, inflammatory rhetoric. Stick to what you know, Scott-- writing puns and drawing adorably wry cartoon dogs wearing nerd glasses. (Oh, Dogbert. I could never stay mad at you!) If you really want to do something to help women in the workplace, you should change Alice's hairstyle. The poor woman's been rocking that triangular bouffant since about 1990.
-- What's douchier than bragging about your girlfriend on Facebook? Bragging about your fake girlfriend on Facebook! A new program called Cloud Girlfriend lets lonely guys create the perfect imaginary Facebook girlfriend who will post lovey-dovey messages on their wall, "like" their hilarious status messages about last night's Celebrity Apprentice and eventually trigger a nuclear holocaust once it achieves sentience. (Seriously. These "robot girlfriends" will be humanity's downfall.)
Sounds perfect, right? Guys in a relationship are catnip to the ladies! Who cares if that relationship is actually just a Facebook spambot? Sign me up! Well, losers, don't go dumping that "girlfriend in Canada" just yet. (What if your girlfriend actually did live in Canada? No one would ever believe you!) Since Facebook's terms of services prohibits fake accounts (and, one would assume, accounts run by a weird girlfriend-creating artificial intelligence program), "Cloud Girlfriend" won't be cluttering up your wall with cute-sy puppy videos and "U help me to understand this thing you humans call love!" messages anytime soon.
So who's the douche here? The inventors of Cloud Girlfriend for coming up with such a lame idea or Facebook for crushing the hopes of sad dudes the world over? I'm going with Facebook. The site is already teeming with fake, spam-y profiles and stupid apps that post useless stuff on your wall. What's one more app going to matter? If having a fake Facebook girlfriend gives one guy the confidence to ask out a real girl, then it'll have done some good. Besides, sad, lonely guys are still going to friend fake porn-y profiles. At least this way their moms will think they've finally met a nice gal.
-- Everyone's talking about the USC students who engaged in some naughty public rooftop boot-knocking. Hot! But, wait! The guy in the photos is a member of Kappa Sigma, the fraternity who recently circulated a horribly sexist email which said women should be treated as "targets" since they're "not actual people." It's tough to virtually fist-bump a dude who keeps such douche-tastic company.
Got any "douches of the week"? Chris Brown, perhaps? Or your ex? Let us know!
I don't know if you've heard about this going on in Toronto:
http://www.slutwalktoronto.com/
But it's happening as a response to a police officer who gave a lecture on street safety, which included such advice as "if women don't want to be raped, they shouldn't dress like sluts" (paraphrase). And I know he isn't the only one who thinks like this- judges and other people in power all over the world engage in this kind of victim-blaming and slut-shaming nonsense.
Douchebags of the world, hear me. We're mad as hell, and we're not going to take it anymore!
Isn't that something? Women have to balance between such opposing stereotypes like prude and slut. You know why men rape women? Because they're SICK and they can get away with it. If she was wearing a tank top or a burka doesn't matter.
The next time I see a dude wearing his pants super low I'm raping him because I'm just an aggressive, visually stimulated maniac who can't be held accountable for my actions because I'm not mentally capable of doing anything but follow my dick.
Faulty, ignorant logic. Women should not have to change the way they dress- THEY SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH ASSAULT IN THE FIRST PLACE. End of story.
Also, damn right dressing has nothing to do with it. Women are raped almost as much (if not more, due to the sickeningly sexist attitudes of many such countries) in burqa & modest-dressing Middle East and Pakistan. And being Muslim and Paki-born- no, I am not simply pulling this out of my ass.
I just can't believe I even got through the last word reading that Kappa Sigma e-mail. I think I wasn't even breathing. I just can't believe it. Just can't. And what made it doubly sadder was the fact that there were some comments saying to let it go because it's normal for college guys to do something so idiotic and just plain... I can't even think of a good word right now... And the whole world wonders why we're all in such deep sh*t lately.
Thanks for this, CG.
Luv U Chic Geek (you seem genuine, sweet and smart) but I couldn't read past the first few words of this blog due to the simple fact that you said "douche" five times within the first four sentences. It's a cheap word, demeaning, the equivalent of a one-liner's cuss word planted in his stand up act just to get a rise, and frankly, I've seen it and its derivatives - douchebags, doucheness, douchearama, etc. - so many times on this site that it makes my stomach turn. It's unhelpful and inauthentic. I CHALLENGE every one of you guys to leave it out of your GuySpeak vocabulary for one week. If you do, I will never mention its use again. If you don't, I will harp on every douchalicious comment you make from here to eternity.
I bet your blog was great BTW. Sorry I missed it :)
do you know what a douche is? its cleaning your vagina. or really any other crevice of your body. and its not restricted just to women. its gross, not enjoyable, and everyone knows it never produces anything of quality. Nick's use of douche is perfect in this situation since that perfectly describes the guys he blogged about. yes its a cheap demeaning word and Nick uses it to describe some awful individuals. Most of the other guys on the site do the same thing, they use douche to describe people who are gross, not enjoyable, and never produce anything of quality. stop getting so offended over one word that was used appropriately
I found Adams' thoughts to be interesting. I think women should read it and assume that that is how men feel about us. They next time you expect to have your door opened for you, assume he does so because he doesn't think you have the physical or mental strength to open it for yourself and that it'll just save time to open it for you. Everytime you win an arguement and pat yourself on the back for being oh-so-smart, just wonder if he only let you win so you'd shut your trap.
Sad that Scott Adams turns out to be a Douche Lord. I have long enjoyed his cartoons snarking at the corporate system. As to Cloud Girlfriend, I don't see the harm, and as to that last bunch of mind-numbing douchery, it seems to me that there isn't a jury that would convict us for shoving those sexist asshats in a vat of boiling oil.
Oh, Nick Nadel. Thank you for making me believe in humankind again,
(:
I didn't think it was that bad. He's right you know, about how there'd be a national emergency if the male-female situation was flipped around. I think gender inequality goes both ways, and in a weird messed up way, it balances things out. Frankly, as a woman, I don't feel oppressed at all. I'm not a bloody victim and I know that when he says, makes $0.8 to a dollar, he's talking about OTHER women because I wouldn't let anyone get away with doing that to me. I don't think he's a douchebag either - he probably opens doors for women and is really nice to his wife/girlfriend. I also don't care if that disqualifies me from being a feminist.
It's more his approach that makes him a dbag. Imagine if he had compared blacks or Hispanics to children and the mentally handicapped. Why is it okay that he said that about women?
Exactly. He implied- very overtly- that women, as a whole, lack "normal" mental capacity and that there's no sense in arguing with us because we lack the mental sense to comprehend anything contrary to our viewpoint.
I never feel degraded by people I know personally. This is probably because I have proven many judgemental people wrong. I am pretty intelligent overall and my strong point is math and physics. I love and know my politics- like, REALLY know them. I have a raw humor, and will make sexual innuendos. Yet I'm into fashion and "act" stereotypically feminine (total good girl, giggly, flirty - but only in casual settings). Three or four of my friends have told me that their first impression of me was a girly-girl who has looks-and-little-brain...now they stop themselves before they compound someone into a stereotype!
I have to say that for the last few of hours i have been hooked by the impressive articles on this website. Keep up the good work.
hahha I agree