This is not your typical GS blog. Sorry for that (actually, I am not, but the conventions must be observed).
Not ten minutes ago, I watched the last liftoff of the last ever shuttle. The Atlantis, on it's final 12 day mission to the International Space Station. Once the Atlantis lands for the final time, the ISS is going to be substantially less international, and we will be stuck thumbing lifts into orbit from other countries. Our world will get smaller again. That freaking sucks.
And, as that oddly beautiful machine roared off the launchpad, I came to a bitter personal understanding. I am too damned old. Young enough to be fascinated by the idea of going into space while missing the excitement of real people standing on another freaking planet, but too old now to even begin to train to go up myself.
Without exaggeration, I can say I would give everything last damn thing I own or ever hope to own, including my partner and children, to be on the flight that launched today.
Selfish? Yeah, probably is. Deal with it.
Like every kid, I grew up with the iconic image of the Earth as a blue and white marble floating in space, watched good, crappy and totally terrible sci fi films and read probably far more than I should have as a jock. I write about space, study it, even dream about it. Foolish dreams, perhaps, but I can see the importance of spaceflight, and the sheer joy in going into a deadly environment to see what we can see, simply because we can, the thing that made a not particularly versatile species dominate it's entire planet.
That dream for me died for the final time today. Sure, space exploration will carry on. Just without us for a while. That sucks hard.
Yes, there are risks too, as the Challenger and Columbia disasters reminded us by rubbing our noses in it. But really, is anything and everything worth doing ever free from risk? Ask the stubborn pioneers that died opening up most of the country and turned desolate wastelands into homes. Ask the guys who fought to keep the world safe for democracy and multinationals. Ask the people who sit on a million tons of explosives to leave the planet for a few days.
There are triumphs too, in overcoming ridiculous odds to do something amazing. People doing things simply because they want to and can change the world. You may laugh, but it happened often enough throughout history for it to be considered the norm, not the exception.
"OK, MM, what the hell does you feeling old and betrayed and being a total space cadet have to do with me and my relationship problem?" I hear a few of you ask. The answer is abso-freaking-lutey nothing. Unless you are willing to read between the lines.
To summarise, for the TL:DR crowd - if you want something it is a risk. You may never get it due to bad timing or other problems. Meanwhile - I am going to mourn the loss of an opportunity to do something unique.
Not ten minutes ago, I watched the last liftoff of the last ever shuttle. The Atlantis, on it's final 12 day mission to the International Space Station. Once the Atlantis lands for the final time, the ISS is going to be substantially less international, and we will be stuck thumbing lifts into orbit from other countries. Our world will get smaller again. That freaking sucks.
And, as that oddly beautiful machine roared off the launchpad, I came to a bitter personal understanding. I am too damned old. Young enough to be fascinated by the idea of going into space while missing the excitement of real people standing on another freaking planet, but too old now to even begin to train to go up myself.
Without exaggeration, I can say I would give everything last damn thing I own or ever hope to own, including my partner and children, to be on the flight that launched today.
Selfish? Yeah, probably is. Deal with it.
Like every kid, I grew up with the iconic image of the Earth as a blue and white marble floating in space, watched good, crappy and totally terrible sci fi films and read probably far more than I should have as a jock. I write about space, study it, even dream about it. Foolish dreams, perhaps, but I can see the importance of spaceflight, and the sheer joy in going into a deadly environment to see what we can see, simply because we can, the thing that made a not particularly versatile species dominate it's entire planet.
That dream for me died for the final time today. Sure, space exploration will carry on. Just without us for a while. That sucks hard.
Yes, there are risks too, as the Challenger and Columbia disasters reminded us by rubbing our noses in it. But really, is anything and everything worth doing ever free from risk? Ask the stubborn pioneers that died opening up most of the country and turned desolate wastelands into homes. Ask the guys who fought to keep the world safe for democracy and multinationals. Ask the people who sit on a million tons of explosives to leave the planet for a few days.
There are triumphs too, in overcoming ridiculous odds to do something amazing. People doing things simply because they want to and can change the world. You may laugh, but it happened often enough throughout history for it to be considered the norm, not the exception.
"OK, MM, what the hell does you feeling old and betrayed and being a total space cadet have to do with me and my relationship problem?" I hear a few of you ask. The answer is abso-freaking-lutey nothing. Unless you are willing to read between the lines.
To summarise, for the TL:DR crowd - if you want something it is a risk. You may never get it due to bad timing or other problems. Meanwhile - I am going to mourn the loss of an opportunity to do something unique.
The beauty of life is we are always given choices, always given a chance to have something just within our reach. Sometimes these choices are not what we want, and sometimes these choices keep us paralyzed, unable to move forward. Fairly simple with the last line, I think: just being you, just breathing, just taking that chance to love despite the unknown destination - these are opportunities to do something unique, to be unique.
The blog post probably has nothing to do with relationships, but I can still read between the lines, MM. I watched the Atlantis too, and my cousin with her baby and her hubby was on site to witness it. Perhaps in your next lifetime, you get to be on another planet or explore space, and you don't even have to trade your wife and children for that. ;p
As a member of the Space Shuttle team I thank you for this post. There are thousands of us that put our hearts into this program and we were all watching with a bittersweet feeling today. While relationship advice is important, sometimes it helps to stop thinking about that and realize there are bigger things going on in the world around us. And this is definitely one of those moments. I will be thinking of you, and the many others like yourself, that have not had the privilege of supporting our manned space program from the Mission Control Center. Thank you for taking the time to acknowledge this moment in our nation's history.
If science has taught us anything it's that universal truth's work on any scale. Just like the ripple in a pond when you drop a pebble, is the same as the ripple in the ocean that becomes a wave, that becomes a tsunami, is the same as the ripple in the earth when a meteor hits, is the same as the ripple in the moon dust from where the first astronaut boot impacted it's surface. So it takes risks in all aspects of our lives to get something great. Maybe it's not a rockets risk, but I read this from a train taking off from it's station, and it's just so happens I'm taking a risk of my own, the rewards could be worth it though....anyway..... I wish I had the mind of a scientist instead of the heart of an artist, I've always dreamed of space and adventure, that I could never pass the math required to achieve, but while I'm content painting the stars and the drawing dreams of the deepestnpits of the ocean, a little part of me died as well apon hearing that news. The country that first country to touch the surface of the moon should not be bowing out of the arena like that. We're better than that, not better than other countries, but better than this choice.
I grew up in Titusville, but now live in NY. It breaks my heart that I was unable to see the last shuttle launch or ever be able to share it with my children. It's a breath taking experience to witness a launch. Going out for a launch was such a normal part of childhood for us. The schools would always have a fire drill to release the students outside and we would all stand outside and wait...and countdown....it was very exciting-every time. It's hard to believe that it's over. It was a great run! Hopefully we'll move on to bigger and better space endevours!
MM, could you update us on where the 3 shuttles will be located (museum-wise) in the future?
Far as I know:
Enterprise to New York's Intrepid Sea, Air and Space Museum,
Discovery to the Steven F. Udvar-Hazy Center of the National Air and Space Museum, (Part of the Smithsonian) Washington DC,
Endeavour to the California Science Center.
Atlantis will stay at Kennedy Space Center,
Because of undiagnosed mental illness I missed a lot of opportunities to start things when I was younger. I'm trying to start some of them now but others I'll never be able to do because I'm simply too damn old. It's a lot harder when you're older. I feel sorrow for this every day and try not to hate my younger self too much because it wasn't entirely her fault. Still, I can't help but think that she could have been a little more sensible anyway.
mystery man would you really give up your wife and kids? :,(
And you shouldn't give up on going into space entirely: nasa is planning on building a station on the moon and average civilans will be able to visit as tourist. idk if you find that realistic or satisfying enough but i just wanted you to have some hope