Did you get a Google Wave invite? What, you haven't heard about Google Wave? It's only going to change the way we communicate by combining email, IM, Facebook, Twitter, and the pager into one massive live stream of information. (Okay, maybe not the pager.) And it could also profoundly affect the dating scene forever. Or at least until the next hot thing comes along.

As the sharply dressed Fred Armisen look-alike in this incredibly long tutorial video explains, Google Wave turns stuffy, boring old e-mail into a live collaborative "wave" of text, photos, video, and more. You know the Facebook status message? It's like that, but a lot busier.




















Who wants a messy, constant stream of information in their inbox? Or an instant headshot of your friends, family members, and coworkers every time they send you a one-sentence email? Call me hopelessly mid-'90s, but I still love the sterile anonymity of email--everyone is reduced to a string of words, the best subject lines fighting for my attention like some sort electronic mail fight club. Who will be the Edward Norton, rising to the top of my inbox? Will the email from my cousin be the Jared Leto, getting knocked down so far that I discover it months later and feel bad for not replying sooner? And who will be the Meat Loaf, with his giant moobs...Yikes, that was one weird movie.   

As for dating, the days of replying to emails whenever you get around to them are over. You can't neglect the wave! The wave will find you, demanding that you reply to its IMs and emails and funny videos and pictures. Now if a guy doesn't get back to you in a day or so, you can add your pals to the wave to give him grief in real-time.

And what about office flirting? Let's say, for instance, that you're working on a killer wave with your coworkers. Everyone's getting in there, adding their two-cents on a project, occasionally throwing in funny links to make the workday go faster or ideas for bars to hit after the company softball game. But then, all of a sudden, you accidentally throw a flirtatious ;) symbol towards the cute new guy in accounts receivable. No worries, right? You didn't CC everyone, it was just to him. Well CC'ing is a thing of the past--everything's part of the wave. Everything is one big CC. And everyone just saw your cutesy emoticon. Sorry, but the wave is a harsh mistress.

So if you value your e-mail independence, don't join the Wave. Hide behind the safe cocoon of email and respond in your own time. Because, as everyone knows, "real-time" for guys is still pretty damn slow.