Fairly recently (at least from the perspective of our entire relationship, which is roughly as old as time), my wife and I traded our double bed for a California King. If you aren't familiar with the California King, it's a bed so large that it's farthest reaches have yet to be mapped by humankind.
Legend has it the name for the bed comes from a powerful and ancient King of California, who, sleeping in a regular King bed one night, found himself able to see the room around him and was displeased. Thus, he commanded the construction of a bed large enough that the eye could not outpace its blankety folds. Naturally, advances in modern construction techniques have made the bed several times larger in the intervening years.
As far as owning one goes, it's definitely a change. On the plus side, my wife and I go to bed a very different times (very late and "oh look, the sun's coming up" late), and it's nice to be able to slide into bed without disturbing her. Not too long ago we shared a single, dorm-style bed, and this was not the case.
In fact, lying in bed together at all required a winch, some precarious sleep-balancing, and our lying in the same position so as to "lock together" and ensure stability. Also, now we can have sex on one end of the bed without disturbing the house of cards and full wineglass I leave set up on the other end!
But there is something odd about sleeping in what is essentially two separate beds shoved together. Maybe it's my pack instinct, but there's a certain romantic flair to being forced into constant, uncomfortable contact by your bed.
Now that I can make snow angels in the bed without my wife even noticing, part of me misses the old days where every tiny movement had to be compensated for, and each night was a constant battle for blankets and optimal foot positioning (as they are, inevitably, icy frozen blocks of death).
How about you, live-in couples or dating couples who are totally mature and all? Do you sleep in a big bed, or a small one? Sleeping bag? Two single beds pushed together like Lucy and Ricky? Bunk bed with a slide (I've been begging, but so far no dice)? Do you feel that the size of the bed has affected your sleeping at all, and in turn, your relationship? I am curious, and you must sate my curiosity or risk annihilation.
Legend has it the name for the bed comes from a powerful and ancient King of California, who, sleeping in a regular King bed one night, found himself able to see the room around him and was displeased. Thus, he commanded the construction of a bed large enough that the eye could not outpace its blankety folds. Naturally, advances in modern construction techniques have made the bed several times larger in the intervening years.
As far as owning one goes, it's definitely a change. On the plus side, my wife and I go to bed a very different times (very late and "oh look, the sun's coming up" late), and it's nice to be able to slide into bed without disturbing her. Not too long ago we shared a single, dorm-style bed, and this was not the case.
In fact, lying in bed together at all required a winch, some precarious sleep-balancing, and our lying in the same position so as to "lock together" and ensure stability. Also, now we can have sex on one end of the bed without disturbing the house of cards and full wineglass I leave set up on the other end!
But there is something odd about sleeping in what is essentially two separate beds shoved together. Maybe it's my pack instinct, but there's a certain romantic flair to being forced into constant, uncomfortable contact by your bed.
Now that I can make snow angels in the bed without my wife even noticing, part of me misses the old days where every tiny movement had to be compensated for, and each night was a constant battle for blankets and optimal foot positioning (as they are, inevitably, icy frozen blocks of death).
How about you, live-in couples or dating couples who are totally mature and all? Do you sleep in a big bed, or a small one? Sleeping bag? Two single beds pushed together like Lucy and Ricky? Bunk bed with a slide (I've been begging, but so far no dice)? Do you feel that the size of the bed has affected your sleeping at all, and in turn, your relationship? I am curious, and you must sate my curiosity or risk annihilation.
My husband and I also upgraded our bed recently, from a Queen to a King. I definitely sleep better now because I am a 'personal space bubble' kind of person. I think it helps our relationship because there's less chance of me throwing elbows when my space gets invaded in the middle of the night! Maybe I'm just not a romantic, but I definitely don't miss the days of sharing a twin bed in a dorm room.
My husband and I made a deal when we were 20, skinny, and about to be married. The deal very explicitly stated we'd sleep x-ratedly, no matter what, in a queen size or smaller bed, no matter what, and that no one ever gets sent to the couch, no matter what. Ever. Big fights, little fights...never.
Twelve years and three kids later, we still abide by the deal. But if I ever come across a fort bunk bed set with a slide, I'm calling the deal off. That's officially when our bedroom becomes the loft apartment in 'Big.' Trampoline and all.
That sounds like a sweet deal. Although yeah, it's tough to beat a trampoline floor. I always wonder how he'd deal with spills though...how do you steam clean a trampoline?
This is what happens when you take Alan Jackson's advice literally and decide to "live on love" and get married at 18.
Our first shared bed= twin mattress, no sheet, just sitting on the floor in the corner of a little empty apartment we could barely afford. We had to tuck it into the corner just so that at least one of us wouldn't fall off at night. There was no "sliding in without disturbing the other", you either went to bed at the same time and fought over who would be the alpha dog (which usually turned into something pretty hot) and get to be next to the wall, thus ensuring safety and warmth, or stayed up later and slept on the living room floor.
When we moved closer to home, we were sleeping on a blow up mattress lol. My dad had promised us a decent bed, then when we had already dumped the twin mattress, he decided he needed his extra bed. We finally bought our first bed quickly after that. (I am very cheap, and was seriously considering just living on the blow up mattress forever). Three years and a pregnancy later, my dad asked me if I had found a new bed yet because he was ready to give up that bed he promised us before lol.
The biggest adultness about our bed now is that it has a whole matching comforter set!
So it has been told: The history of our bed!
I did the whole pushing to mattresses together thing. Not a bright idea, I think it led to our breakup since I didn't want his smelly ass on my nice mattress.
My husband goes to sleep at an insane hour too. We have a queen size bed, but if it doesn't matter since I'm a heavy sleeper. So far after 3 years of marriage he's only woken me up once when he was trying to push me back on my side of the bed.
One thing that gets to me is that I have to change posistions more often so that we're not face to face since he snores.
I'm constantly amazed by the fact that I rarely wake my wife up. I usually have to rip the blankets out from under her and shove her around (she likes to sleep diagonally), turn a light on, stub my toe, then finally get into bed. She almost never wakes up, and often she'll even have a muttered conversation with me and not remember a thing in the morning.
My husband says I do the same thing when it comes to half asleep conversations. Being the bastard that he is he'll sometimes ask me things I'd usually get pissed at, but I'm asleep so I don't remember. Then the next day he'll be like, "But you said I could last night! Wha!" I had to make up a rule that dictates that if I don't remember it, it didn't actually happen.
OMG!! ARE YOU PEOPLE IN MY HOUSE!!??!! So i came in from work today somewhere around 7is to find that my darling honey had just tipped the delivery man after dropping off & settin up our new california king!! I thought it was super sweet because he knows how im addicted to working in bed.Im the work all day only to bring home the laptop & client accounts type(i really should stop it) but when im done workin & its time to go to sleep I need the "nook",you know that cranny nudge under the man that us little women fit so perfectly in.I can still do that but the thing is,my honey cant sleep that way all through the night so he'll eventually move me over but apart of him is always touching me,i.e leg,elbow,footsy.Its seperation anxiety at its peek!! I went to lay next to him an hour ago & SOMETHINGS JUST NOT RIGHT!!THE BED IS TOO HUGE & I HATE IT!!! I wont tell him that but I DO!!! Im so tired right now & I wanna lay down but first i have to come up with a strategy on makin it through the night with my dude all the way across town!!!UGH!
Try wetting his side of the bed, forcing him to share your side. Works every time.
are you seriously suggesting I pee on the hubby??......cuz if so,im totally game!!!!
I would be in that crook if it wasn't so smelly most of the time!
aww Megan, you need to date a cleaner boy hehehe. My nose is pretty sensitive, I can't imagine dating a smelly guy! I've been with hiking some, eww! Anyhow, I recommend software developers, contrary to the stereotype, they usually seem to be pretty meticulous and clean guys :-)
We have a queen. I've tried to convince him to get the California King because he's a giant and his feet hang off the end. But he refuses. He's kind of like a dog (in the nicest way possible) as he MUST be touching me at all times when he's sleeping. If I get up to go to the bathroom or something, I come back to find him totally freaking out, and groping the bed where I was, while still completely asleep. It's rather entertaining to watch, but then I feel guilty if I let it go on too long;-)
So, his feet will continue to dangle I suppose.
awww hahahah that is so cute I've never heard such thing
I am a college student and my boyfriend and I are currently sharing my twin bed. Swaim I can definitely relate to having to think of your next two moves as to not to disturb your partner. The hardest part is he's a light sleeper and falls asleep fast. While I'm a heavy sleeper and it takes me longer to fall asleep. So I always have to make sure, I'm in the position I want to fall asleep in as to not wake him up every five minutes I turn over. But beyond on that I love cuddling up next to him.
I'm sure I have a rebel vertebra waiting for the moment it can sever my spinal cord as revenge for sharing a double futon when we first lived together. It had a corrugated mattress so if you rolled into a 'dip' while sleeping you were stuck there all night until your pelvis displaced and your spine burst through your armpit. If you both got trapped in separate dips you were doomed never to cuddle, your only hope was for one of you to balance on a 'hill' and try not to fall into the valley the other was occupying. Once we had enough money we bought a queen sized mattress as flat as a Hilton heiress's behind and my dreams of becoming the big spoon were realised. Of course I'll always have the futon memories… and chiropractor bills.
I spent a short time sleeping in a King Single with an ex of mine. I once tried to insist that sleeping in different beds would not be the end of us as a couple. He was of the opinion that as a couple we should be as close to each other as physically possible at all times. Even if that meant sleepless nights and terrible back pain for me. The relationship did not last much longer after this.
A California King sounds glorious. So much unexplored sleep territory. So much space to thrash around due to bad dreams without kicking anyone in the balls or being elbowed in the breast. So much rooms to flee from my deep seated fear of co-dependency.
I sleep in a grass hut.
My now ex-husband and I got a regular king bed as soon as possible after getting married as we are both over 5'9" and, um, stocky. It was glorious. No one had to sleep in the wet spot after sex. I agree that it's nice to keep a point of contact through the night, but I didn't really have a problem doing that. Do y'all sleep like you're in a roller-coaster? (Hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times mister!) On the flip side, consistently waking up to find him retracted as far from me as possible was actually the first sign that he was pursuing extra-curricular activities.
My boyfriend is 6'8". So yeah, a California King sounds perfect :)
My gf and I alternate sleeping venues (her place / my place).
I have a king double while she (being a lawyer and much richer than me) has a queen.
Despite the fact that she is only 5'7" compared to my 6'3" I am the constant loser in the bedsheets wars.
It has got to the point that in winter I have to keep a spare comforter (correct word for the Americans?) on the floor or risk hypothermia.
Michael, I TOTALLY agree with you. My boyfriend and I used to sleep on a Twin, we've since moved onto a Queen-size. Even with the upgrade we still sleep on ONE side of the bed together "locked into" one another, and I wouldn't change it for anything in the world. We've gotten so used to sleeping that way when we were in the Twin, that it just became our way.. :-)
Man what a great post/topic! Loved reading all the replies too. I can't imagine sharing a twin bed! I think one time in college I let my BF stay over in my student apartment, which had one of those twin extra long standard college beds... that was the first and last time I ever tried sharing a twin! A queen seems alright to me, a double is OK but getting a little small. I have a twin bed but that's because I've always lived somewhere with lots of roommates, and have mostly dated guys who lived alone, so no one stayed over with me (except that one time). When I become an adult (hah, what age is that now, 35?) I will get a queen. While a king or CA king would be great, it's just so big that it would be hard to find a place with room for that. I imagine I'll be buying a 400-500 sqft condo someday, and there's no room for a bed like that unfortunately. Even a queen is pushing it. Actually my sheets are queen sheets... apparently 4 years ago when I bought them, I thought I'd be buying a bigger bed.. hah!
Anyhow, I wish I could have a king! If I get married and end up living somewhere with space, I'd definitely get a big bed.
The dream though, is his & her townhomes, side by side. I suppose that's not very romantic, but then snoring wouldn't be an issue, nor decorating, nor anything... hmmm...
I'm more of a "personal space" person. Several ex-boyfriends have had this fight with me. My final year of college I had one boyfriend want to share my twin with me. Now, I'm a restless sleeper and if my "space" is at ALL compromised, I lose sleep. After one night of him INSISTING that he slept over in my twin with me, every subsequent night i banished him to my futon because dammit...I wanted to sleep. Personally, I like my space, no matter how much I love my man. I'd rather stay up chatting and cuddling than stay up, awake, listening to him snore away. But I must just be weird like that
Aw Michelle, what will you do when you get married!?
I have a friend (no really) who is also a "personal space" sleeper. She has had the considerable good fortune to love and, be loved by a man who is also a "personal space" sleeper (amongst other qualities!) When they "vacation" (I'm Irish) together, they get a twin room. I think, when they do move in together soon, they should do like in Europe. Double bed base, with two single mattresses on it.
Great post and replies too.
We have a king. He works nights and I share it with the kiddo. I love when she cuddles with me, but when he does it, i cant sleep, so i'm grateful for the space between us. Having said that, when he sleeps in the bed with us, i sleep very little anyway because there are 3 of us in the bed..and king size or not, i love stretching out and finding the cool spots, they steal all my cool spots : (. The little one should be transitioning back into her bed soon so i will have the whole king bed to myself : ).
What a lovely day for a 122879! SCK was here