It could have been worse for Jesse James. Sure, he cheated on America's favorite girl-next-door, Academy-award winning actress Sandra Bullock. And he did it with Michelle McGee, a flamboyant groupie with a facial tattoo, which is always sign numero uno that somebody A) has daddy issues and B) is a swirling vortex of narcissism and self-destruction. Then he went and gave the most tepid, little boy public apology since Tiger Woods.
But, as I mentioned, it could all have been worse. How? His trainwreck of a lover could have given him a nickname worse than "Vanilla Gorilla" (which apparently refers to James' "endowment.") I'm not saying "Vanilla Gorilla" is the personification of erotic wit, but it's better than these alternatives.
10.Pale Whale
9. Albino Rhino
8. Alabaster Hamster
7. Scallion Stallion
6. Pearl Squirrel
5. Half-and-half Giraffe
4. Bar of Soap Antelope
3. Snowflake Rattlesnake
2. Tartar Centaur
1. Sperm Pachyderm
Bleach Leech, Chalk Croc (or Cock but that is a tad on the nose), Wan Swan...
These are far too much fun to do.
OMG bar of soap antelope!! Too funny.
What is it with men all of the sudden cheating everywhere? They should have to get forehead tatoos themselves, like some kind of scarlet letter system revamped for 2010....... Im kidding of course. But still, the only thing that I like about hearing these men cheat is that at least the world knows he's trash and no one ever blames Sandra/Elin?Reese/Halle, etc, as embarassing as it would be. People who cheat are trashy, and they'll continue to dig holes for themselves wherever they go.
I'm losing my faith in humanity.
jdv, you're a genius. thanks for making my day =)