If you're a fan of comedy and celebrity culture, chances are you love Joan Rivers. At 77, she's a comedic icon who is still at the top of her game. (For proof, check out the excellent documentary, Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work.)
Besides her cutting red carpet barbs, Joan has quite a bit of wisdom to offer in the realm of love, sex, relationships, and all that other good stuff we cover here at GuySpeak. To celebrate the news that our benevolent mothership WE tv has picked up her reality show, Joan & Melissa: Joan Knows Best?, for a second season, here are some choice Joan quips about sex, love, and, uh, wangs. Enjoy!
On the struggles of single life:
"I was the last girl in Larchmont, NY to get married. My mother had a sign up: 'Last Girl Before Freeway.'"
"I spit on education. No man will ever put his hand up your dress looking for a library card."
On the dreaded "slut" label:
"A man can sleep around, no questions asked. But if a woman makes 19 or 20 mistakes, she's a tramp."
On motherly relationship advice:
"I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'The man goes on top and the woman underneath.'"
On bedroom etiquette:
"It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom."
On a certain potent blue pill:
"The nice thing about Viagra is that they are proving men can go blind on it, so you can gain weight and have a great sex life."
On childbirth:
"Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'"
On dry spells:
"My sex life is so bad, my G-spot has been declared a historical landmark."
On Sandra Bullock wearing Vera Wang at the Oscars:
"She told me this is the only contact she's had with a wang all year."
On that thing called love:
"My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese. Most of it's missing, and what's there stinks."
Check out clips from Joan & Melissa: Joan Knows Best? over on WEtv.com. Got any favorite Joan Rivers quotes?
Besides her cutting red carpet barbs, Joan has quite a bit of wisdom to offer in the realm of love, sex, relationships, and all that other good stuff we cover here at GuySpeak. To celebrate the news that our benevolent mothership WE tv has picked up her reality show, Joan & Melissa: Joan Knows Best?, for a second season, here are some choice Joan quips about sex, love, and, uh, wangs. Enjoy!
On the struggles of single life:
"I was the last girl in Larchmont, NY to get married. My mother had a sign up: 'Last Girl Before Freeway.'"
"I spit on education. No man will ever put his hand up your dress looking for a library card."
On the dreaded "slut" label:
"A man can sleep around, no questions asked. But if a woman makes 19 or 20 mistakes, she's a tramp."
On motherly relationship advice:
"I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'The man goes on top and the woman underneath.'"
On bedroom etiquette:
"It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom."
On a certain potent blue pill:
"The nice thing about Viagra is that they are proving men can go blind on it, so you can gain weight and have a great sex life."
On childbirth:
"Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'"
On dry spells:
"My sex life is so bad, my G-spot has been declared a historical landmark."
On Sandra Bullock wearing Vera Wang at the Oscars:
"She told me this is the only contact she's had with a wang all year."
On that thing called love:
"My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese. Most of it's missing, and what's there stinks."
Check out clips from Joan & Melissa: Joan Knows Best? over on WEtv.com. Got any favorite Joan Rivers quotes?
This is awesome -- great picks on the quotes. Joan is such a brilliant funny lady!