I like the World Cup. And apparently, women do too. I wouldn't say I'm a huge fan. It's a graceful sport, full of fancy foot work, nearly telepathic communications between teammates, and occasional bursts of excitement. I'm confused that the reason the World Cup isn't popular in the United States is because it's impossible to wrap commercials around it. America loves aggressive sports that stop and go every few minutes, so we can be sold beer, beer, and more beer. There's also the fact that soccer is played by elves. Granted, the elves eventually help us defeat the evil forces of Mordor. But, man, the prancing.
This year, my opinion has been swayed. I've had friends from the magical island of England explain their passion to me. When a lifelong fan of soccer or football or futbol or goal ballet describes the game, it's easy to understand. American sports seem almost vulgar in comparison. I've not been watching a lot (Go USA! Beat Ghana!) I've had other things to do (Golden Girls reruns. I'm in mourning.) But I get it. The World Cup combines two things I am actually genuinely interested in -- geopolitics and nicely cut lawns. The World Cup is even more savagely nationalistic than the Olympics. I think we should replace war with soccer. Let's see... our annual defense budget is, what? $400 billion? Surely, that can buy a team that can defeat Ghana (I know. I just found out. At least there's Mexico. GO NORTH AMERICA!)
The most interesting thing about the World Cup this time around is the number of women I know who are absolutely nuts about the tournament. I know as many soccer freaks who are woman as I do men. And in the past couple of weeks, these women have shared with me their ardor for a sport beloved by one too many socialist societies (if you ask me.) Via Facebook, Twitter, IM, and the phone, I have absorbed a whole generation of ladies who are definitely going to be superfans in four years.
Here's what I have learned about The World Cup from the women in my life:
1.Soccer guys are HAWTOMG.
2.I don't care who wins, so long as they run!
3. They're not juiced, muscle-heads, like baseball players. They look like regular guys who also happen to be the very pinnacle of human perfection.
4.Soccer players have such nice legs!
5. And hair!
6. I like the Argentinian ones!
7. I like the Italian ones!
8. I like them all!
9. Soccer is exhausting both physically and mentally.
10. Donovan is a dog. But cute! And short.
This year, my opinion has been swayed. I've had friends from the magical island of England explain their passion to me. When a lifelong fan of soccer or football or futbol or goal ballet describes the game, it's easy to understand. American sports seem almost vulgar in comparison. I've not been watching a lot (Go USA! Beat Ghana!) I've had other things to do (Golden Girls reruns. I'm in mourning.) But I get it. The World Cup combines two things I am actually genuinely interested in -- geopolitics and nicely cut lawns. The World Cup is even more savagely nationalistic than the Olympics. I think we should replace war with soccer. Let's see... our annual defense budget is, what? $400 billion? Surely, that can buy a team that can defeat Ghana (I know. I just found out. At least there's Mexico. GO NORTH AMERICA!)
The most interesting thing about the World Cup this time around is the number of women I know who are absolutely nuts about the tournament. I know as many soccer freaks who are woman as I do men. And in the past couple of weeks, these women have shared with me their ardor for a sport beloved by one too many socialist societies (if you ask me.) Via Facebook, Twitter, IM, and the phone, I have absorbed a whole generation of ladies who are definitely going to be superfans in four years.
Here's what I have learned about The World Cup from the women in my life:
1.Soccer guys are HAWTOMG.
2.I don't care who wins, so long as they run!
3. They're not juiced, muscle-heads, like baseball players. They look like regular guys who also happen to be the very pinnacle of human perfection.
4.Soccer players have such nice legs!
5. And hair!
6. I like the Argentinian ones!
7. I like the Italian ones!
8. I like them all!
9. Soccer is exhausting both physically and mentally.
10. Donovan is a dog. But cute! And short.
Nice work John, I totally agree. I was sad to see USA lose and happier to see the UK blow hard. Don't tread on me bitches. Cheers from Norcal.
As a Ghanaian-Canadian, I was super pleased to see my country beat USA (sorry fellow Americans but y'all don't even care about soccer that much, do you?)
donovan is also balding.
11. Germany is effing KILLING it. Love them young boys!
12. I'm a little disappointed with Brazil's playing prowess as of late. They used to be so amazing...
13. Spain has some of the sexiest players ever.
14. Portugal is out! GOOD BYE PRINCESS RONALDO. (As a football fan, I do not support pretty boys who dive, cry and get paid ridiculous amounts of money for it)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ukFUEI5qz8
Take it off!!!
Ronaldo was such a little diva!
I had the pleasure of watching the USA play England while in an English pub and the luck not to get killed for cheering for the USA! :) The English compensate for illegal guns with death glares that fire like pistols. Anyway, what struck me about the World Cup while being in the UK was how easy it is to get sucked in and "get it", when surrounded by people that are passionate about it; it was a bit like foreign language immersion. From the top of a double decker on bus route 176 I saw an English bum with charcoal front teeth grinning and a jester hat on that said "England". I saw English flags draped on the windows of houses where normally there were none and heard local drunks chant for their country. Now that I'm back in America and surrounded by friends that are sports apathetic starbucks coffee sippers, I don't especially "give a toss" anymore. But being transatlantic, surrounded by inebriates that are totally into it, I got into it as well.
Oh, and those are some beautiful elves..