Ha Ha. I know I can clear up a few of these questions. While I have yet to see the movie, I have read the book. I am sure not all of the questions will be answered to the point where they won't seem ridiculous, but here it goes...

1. Bella wouldn't choose Jacob because Edward is less available, girls always want something they have to work harder for. Plus girls like how protective Edward is, while Jacob is protective, he seems much younger and less experienced in his attempts.

2. In the book, Jacob carries his clothes in his mouth when he turns into a werewolf, he changes back into human form in the forest and puts clothing on there.

3. In the book, one of Charlie's (Bella's father) good friends dies. Jacob and Bella are back at Bella's house and the phone rings, Jacob answers. It is Edward and he asks for Charlie, Jacob says that he is at 'the funeral'. He means Charlie's friends funeral, but Edward thinks he means Bella's. I am not sure if this actually happens in the movie or not.

Those are the questions that I can give logical answers to. Hope that helps.

Okay...let's keep in perspective the fact that this series of books was written for adolescent girls. Yes, we've (grown assed women) have read them but trying to anaylze them with any sort of grown up logic is pointless.

As authors go, Stephanie Meyers is a mediocre author at best and popularity of a story line can never compensate for quality of writing craft.

Take them for what they are...mindless entertainment of the masses.

New Moon discussion! As much as I harp on about what crap these books are, I still like to discuss them. So, here we go!

1. Why wouldn't Bella choose Jacob?
I have no idea. I mean he's obviously the hotter of the two (17 eek...), and probably the only character in the whole movie to crack a smile. Plus I've always been 'Team Jacob', so I'm not a good person to ask. Why would she choose Edward at all? He's an over-protective nutbar. Before they even got together he was oiling her window so it wouldn't creak when he came into her room to watch her while she sleeps. He's creepy.

2. Where do Jacob's pants go when he "wolfs" out?
In the movie there is much talk about how Jake won't have any shoes left since he keeps ripping them apart mid-transformation. I think there is also some talk about stripping down and tying his pants to his leg before changing. As you can see in the movie (if you were watching carefully, or you did what I did and youtube'd 'new moon Jacob transformation',) his pants are ripped to shreds. So yeah, they don't 'go anywhere', except for all over the place.

3. Why couldn't Edward, you know, come back to make sure Bella is actually dead?
Ugh, who knows. Why would Jacob answer the damn phone in the first place? True he was angry for being interrupted during his 'special moment' with Bella, but who answers the phone at someone else's house? Plus, Alice sees the future, and what she saw made her believe that Bella was dead. Alice is never wrong, except for in this instance because if you recall she can't 'see' the werewolves, so she didn't know Bella survived because she was hanging out with Jake the whole time after she jumped off the cliff. (And the Cullens didn't know about the werewolves.) Then Rosalie told Edward (which wasn't in the movie), and Edward called up Bella, etc. etc.

4. Why would Edward let Bella anywhere near paper products?
Weirdly I think he knew something like this would eventually happen, and would give him the excuse to leave Bella, so he wouldn't have bite her and take her soul. Because he loves her so much. Ick.

5. Why isn't the movie about Bella's non-vampire friends?
Because SMeyer didn't have a wet dream about Bella's human friends, so she didn't find it important enough to base a whole novel on.

As to Does Bella do anything? (SPOILER ALERT!!!):

No. Except for whine, emotionally blackmail two dudes, get married, get pregant, have cesarean by vampire teeth, die, birth abomination, become a vampire, save the day, live happily ever after ... I stopped reading after she birthed the abomination. But it's something you can look forward to when the next two movies come out!

1. It's about there not being a wrong choice. Plus franchise is not over if you haven't read you don't know who she picks...I think agree with you on team Jacob though.

2. He ties them to his leg with twine and changes in the woods.

3. Alice sees the future and edward can read her mind he didn't have to check as far they both knew she was dead. Plusrosalie told him and jacob mentioned funeral on the phone. What would young love be without drama.

4. In the book she describes herself as pretty much having 2 left feet she is a huge klutz basically you can't stop her from hurting herself.

5.You can't fit everything in a 2 hour movie there is more about them in the book.

So basically everything you asked about is IN THE BOOK. Even why they have weird powers.

P.S. My boyfriend also saw the movie with me. At the end I asked him team Edward or team Jacob and he said team alice because she is way hotter than Kristen stewart lol but then agreed with you.

Essentially, anything you need to know, is in the books. There are those out there who have never read the books, and get the theme of the story (although I don't know how). But Yvonne's answers are correct. Bella is a massive klutz, and the Cullen's were kinda dumb to wrap her gifts, knowing she is a massive klutz. But, I am a Cullen fan, so I won't comment on the rest.

Though many of these have been answered, I'll give it to you anyways.

1: Blah blah true love blah blah. To be fair, Jacob is a bit more of an ass post-wolf in the book. Though I couldn't help but laugh my ass off during the movie when Edward de-robed. All movie we see the tanned, buff, shaved, wet Jacob shirtless, and then Edward's skinny, pale, hairy body looked rather pathetic in comparison. Frankly, I'm for team threesome.

2: He carries spare shorts around tied to some part of his body. The wolf pack is never shown untransforming because they would be naked. This gets awkward when a girl starts transforming as well.

3: In the book, Edward called pretending to be his dad, Carlisle, to ask for Charlie. When Jacob said that he was making preparations for the funeral, that was the "proof" Edward thought he needed to confirm Bella was dead.

4: You think that is a bit weird? Think about this; these vampires go to school with tons of menstruating girls every day, but apparently a single paper cut will drive Jasper nuts.

5: Because apparently normal people aren't cool enough for Miss Swan.

6(?): No, Bella does nothing. Many find her to be an anti-heroin, a bad role model for girls, and even a failure at being a damsel in distress. She lets the fact a guy left her completely destroy and alter her life, and she feels no reason to do anything if a guy is not doting on her. She mopes, complains, and sits back while the supers do all the work for her. She begins to realize this in Eclipse, but her strategy to fix her uselessness makes things worse. And then in Breaking Dawn Miss. Meyer decides to make her OVERLY powerful/useful.

Watch twilight for hot shirtless guys who build up girls delusions of what a guy is supposed to do/say. If you want a vamp series with substance and sex, head over to True Blood.

1. There's this whole business about how Jacob has to "imprint" on a girl (Which is his animal instinct-like thing that'll happen at any given moment). That when Jacob meets her--she'll be "THE ONE".. Obviously, it's not Bella. But it talks more about imprinting I think in book 3.. or 4.. aw heck, I forgot.
So even if Bella ended up with Jacob--he'd imprint on another girl--and leave Bella behind eventually.
And I agree, girls do want something that they can't have. That's just the way life works out.
Oh and it the book.. it's like.. Bella wants to jump edward's bones. His scent.. being near him.. etc etc. I swear the book is clean smut for girls.

2. yeah that twine wrapping around his legs for clothes.. I want to say that someone appears naked in front of Bella--but I forget. (only read the damned thing once and NM was not my favorite.)

3.Difference between the book & the movie. Jacob believes it's Carlisle asking for Bella's father.. but in the movie Jacob is a douchebag and knows it's edward which also brings on the drama.
Why didn't edward go back? Well they believe that most of the time what Alice sees is chronologically correct. Though we find out later that the future can always change--her visions do not always come true. (it's in the book)

4. Bella is clumsy. You can only protect a girl from so much.. there's bound to be minor slip ups.

5. Why isn't the movie about the nonvampire friends?
Fact. we hardly even notice them in the books.. they're just there for moral support I guess. They don't have a huge significance in the books. But in the movie--guess it helps move the storyline rather than it dragging on with a narration in bella's head.. ..

p.s-the whole emails thing. Yeah. Not in the book.

for one thing, jacob turns into a HUGE asswipe after New Moon. all he ever does is try to force bella into liking him, including a couple of forced physical contact episodes. although edward is a psychotic misogynistic stalker, he is at least courteous.

for another, bella never does anything except cook dinner for her family and try to stay out of everyone's way, because she is the most anti-feminist heroin in literary history.

A wizard did it?

You seem to be getting more accurate answers, but seeing how I care not at all about the books and movies, that answer is good enough for me.

I just barely signed up and this is my first post..yay! haha...ok now to answer the questions...

1. In the books you find out that werewolves "imprint" on thier mate. Basically this means that because Jacob hasn't imprinted on Bella, they are just not for each other. I also think there is another more important reason. You know how there is always someone that is just perfect for us? The person that your parents would choose for you to marry if they could? Well, that is Jacob. However, just because someone is wonderful in every way doesn't mean that you will love them. You can't really choose who you have feelings for. Edward and Bella have that love that she just can't find in Jacob. Jacob is an amazing friend to her, but in reality he was only a replacement because she lost Edward for a while.

2. Hmm...I really cant answer this one for you :) The werewolves are dashing young men though so I'm ok with the shirtless! haha

3. The reason Edward doesn't call or come home to see if Bella is really dead is because Rosalie actually calls him and tells him that she is dead. He has no reason not to believe her, and she's basically his sister, so he trusts her. It doesn't show this in the movie though. That's why Rosalie apologizes for the things she's done when they vote on whether or not she should become a vampire.

4. This doesnt make a lot of sense, because who bleeds that much when they get a papercut?! However, Jasper holds a special place in my heart and I loved this scene anyways :)

5. If you want to see the lives of a bunch of teenagers, you can watch Laguna Beach...which is totally lame! Vampires and werewolves are more dangerous and exciting.

Bella is supposed to be the type of character that average girls can relate to, so I guess that is why she's so awkward. You can't relate to someone who is perfect. I think the books go into more detail about Bella's personality, but you will see more in the next movie. The one thing I hate about her is that I think she leads Jacob on...she knows she doesn't have a romantic interest in him but she makes him think otherwise because she doesn't want him to leave.

The one thing that bothers me about the movies is that it doesn't show Bella's interaction with the whole Cullen family as much as it does in the books. I think it might show more in the next movie, but I can't tell you why i think this:) Oh, and the kiss she asked for on her birthday, was that not like a porn kiss?! The whole moaning and groaning...eww. All their kisses look like they are the type of kiss right before you rip each others clothes off and do it! Other than that, I really enjoy the movies! I know you don't want to read the books, but that is really where everything makes sense, and you never know, you might like them. Now you know more about Twilight than you probably ever wanted to :)

I just barely signed up and this is my first post..yay! haha...ok now to answer the questions...

1. In the books you find out that werewolves "imprint" on thier mate. Basically this means that because Jacob hasn't imprinted on Bella, they are just not for each other. I also think there is another more important reason. You know how there is always someone that is just perfect for us? The person that your parents would choose for you to marry if they could? Well, that is Jacob. However, just because someone is wonderful in every way doesn't mean that you will love them. You can't really choose who you have feelings for. Edward and Bella have that love that she just can't find in Jacob. Jacob is an amazing friend to her, but in reality he was only a replacement because she lost Edward for a while.

2. Hmm...I really cant answer this one for you :) The werewolves are dashing young men though so I'm ok with the shirtless! haha

3. The reason Edward doesn't call or come home to see if Bella is really dead is because Rosalie actually calls him and tells him that she is dead. He has no reason not to believe her, and she's basically his sister, so he trusts her. It doesn't show this in the movie though. That's why Rosalie apologizes for the things she's done when they vote on whether or not she should become a vampire.

4. This doesnt make a lot of sense, because who bleeds that much when they get a papercut?! However, Jasper holds a special place in my heart and I loved this scene anyways :)

5. If you want to see the lives of a bunch of teenagers, you can watch Laguna Beach...which is totally lame! Vampires and werewolves are more dangerous and exciting.

Bella is supposed to be the type of character that average girls can relate to, so I guess that is why she's so awkward. You can't relate to someone who is perfect. I think the books go into more detail about Bella's personality, but you will see more in the next movie. The one thing I hate about her is that I think she leads Jacob on...she knows she doesn't have a romantic interest in him but she makes him think otherwise because she doesn't want him to leave.

The one thing that bothers me about the movies is that it doesn't show Bella's interaction with the whole Cullen family as much as it does in the books. I think it might show more in the next movie, but I can't tell you why i think this:) Oh, and the kiss she asked for on her birthday, was that not like a porn kiss?! The whole moaning and groaning...eww. All their kisses look like they are the type of kiss right before you rip each others clothes off and do it! Other than that, I really enjoy the movies! I know you don't want to read the books, but that is really where everything makes sense, and you never know, you might like them. Now you know more about Twilight than you probably ever wanted to :)

1. Why wouldn't Bella chose Jacob?
Because these books cater to hormonal teenage girls, and therefore it makes more sense to go for the taciturn hot guy than it does for the guy you're comfortable with. Also, let's not forget that Jacob ultimately "imprints" on Bella's baby (CREEPER!), so if she never ended up with Edward Jacob might never have imprinted. I don't buy all this "love at first sight" crap, this is exactly the kind of ridiculous brainwashing plot that brings all us girls to the site in the first place.

2. Where do Jacob's pants go when he "wolfs" out?
If Jacob all of a sudden didn't have pants they wouldn't be able to keep the movie rating where the teeny boppers could get in to see it.

3. Why couldn't Edward, you know, come back to make sure Bella is actually dead?
Another sub-plot that ultimately results in millions of young girls believing that a guy who acts like he doesn't like you, actually DOES like you. I believe it's because most girls channel themselves through Bella's character and the entire series is giving us exactly the plot we (girls) want to read. That guy? The much older, mysterious one who is totally unreachable? He's secretly harboring a dark secret only you can help him to bear. And when he runs off for months without a phone call? He's not having crazy vampire sex with some other girl. He's just pining over you while he Doesn't Call.

4. Why would Edward let Bella anywhere near paper products?
Good question. I think it should closely follow the question, "Why would Edward take Bella to a house full of "vegetarian" vampires? That's like taking a bacon cheeseburger to a fat camp.

5. Why isn't the movie about Bella's non-vampire friends?
Because then it would be called Degrassi.

1. She's a DRAMA queen, and she loves having both boys chase her.
2. In the book, it said he ties his clothes around his ankle.
3. Because the book had to be DRAMATIC and dumb!!
4. Seriously.
5. They're too lame.

I know it's a series of crap written for teens, but I did read them (shame on me....hours wasted), but there are some major things that bug me throughout the series:

(SPOILER ALERT)

1. If every cell in the vampires are dead, how the hell does Edward not only sustain an erection (blood flow) but get Bella pregnant (basic Biology dictates that it takes LIVE sperm) in the 4th book?

2. The whole paper cut/menstruation thing.

3. He's dead. How does he sustain any feelings? How can he "love" anyone?

4. Wouldn't deer, moose, elk, mountain lions, and bears (and anything else they eat) become endangered or extinct?

5. Why haven't any other regular people wondered about the pale people who never age?

6. Why are there no unattractive vampires?

7. What about Bella is so enticing to Edward, Jacob, and the whole entire teenage male population in Forks?

8. They're dead. They're going against their very nature by not eating humans. Why? The dead don't have a conscience.

9. WHY oh why the hell do they sparkle in the sun? WTF is that all about??!

YOU GIVE REALLY BAD .

Okay, really, just wait for the next two movies. You know you'll end up seeing them eventually anyway. They're both already in one stage of production or another, and will most likely do a pretty decent job of explaining most of your burning questions. And about the jacob pants thing, after a while he becomes miraculously intelligent and gets a pouch to put around his ankle to hold them so they don't shred to pieces every time he shifts.

Spoiler!
Among the countless issues with the twilight series, one question has infuriated me more than any of those brought to light by other posts...
If the Cullens are brilliant with millions of dollars of advance medical equipment, why were they shocked that Bella got knocked up?

In the book series, Dr. Daddy Vamp says it is because vampires and humans are genetically different - more specifically, they do not have the same number of chromosomes. This makes NO sense! Anyone who has taken even the most basic of biology courses would know that this is NOT something that reproductively isolates species!
I guess in all their decades of hunting they never came across a mule?!

everybody has their own little reasons why they think what happened, happened in the books/movies. Wow, what wonderful question.

1. Why pick a werewolf who'll eventually become a regular human when the vampires leave when you can be granted immortality? Besides, Edward loves Bella way more than Jacob. Proof? In the 4th book when the baby is sucking the life out of Bella and all Edward can do is watch, he tells her that he just wants her to live, and if she wants children then she can even have "puppies". [The slur for werewolf is "dog". Get it?] and besides, the books would've been way less interesting.

2. At first Jacobs clothes gets ripped off because he cant control his phasing but when he learns how he keeps them tied to his leg. p.s. Did anyone see how HOTTT that Sam Uley character was? I just had to add that little tidbit.

3. Edward promised Bella that he would no longer interfere with her life so him coming back was out of the equation because he didnt know anything about what she was doing, whether it was committing suicide or stupidly cliff diving until Rosalie opened her big mouth and lied.

4. Edward knew he could not protect Bella from everything. Besides, he wanted her to have a happy life and thought that he was preventing her from doing so.

5. Stephanie Meyers could've wrote about Bellas friends but then again, how many "in the life of an average teenager" books does the world need???

The movies are pretty crappy. I'm not saying that the actors are bad...wait. I am saying that. But who cares, in this day and age, instead of reading "The Scarlet Letter" and "To Kill a Mockingbird", high school classrooms are just watching it. And fastforwarding to the good parts might I add.

Seriously? This movie, and the books are just too much! They are soooo uber mushy and ridiculous. I took my little sister and, to the annoyance of everyone in the theatre, laughed through the whole thing. I could barely get through the books either. I am a girl and I think they are too mushy, that has to mean something! I just don't get the big deal. "I love you" "No I love you more" "No I love YOU more" UGH! The books are mediocre at best. No offense do Stephanie Meyer, but GROW UP! Even for adolescent books these were ridiculously immature. It sounds like a teenage girl, with no literary experience at all, and going through puberty wrote these books. And why does everyone insist on talking about Bella and the Cullens as though they are real people? Say it with me, FICTION. If you don't know what it means, look it up!

Wow, I was just ambling through the site when I stumbled across this thread and haven't stopped laughing since. I saw the film but never read the books (no need since every female co-worker has provided me a verbal synopsis recently). I had several questions similar to those posed by Mr Nadel, but have since regretted airing them because "he ties spare pants to his leg" made even less sense (Jacob's leg still changes, making it difficult to ensure the twine would hold) than my own assumption (why not just stay as a wolf until you get back to the pack's lycanthropic locker-room and grab a new pair?). Otherwise I'm left with the ridiculous image of a wolf rolling up to an inter-monster fight with bike shorts strapped to his hindquarters.

Well, a lot of girls have answered your questions already, some of them just stating some things they know, some stating opinions, some rather biased. Really, the best way to explain this is to include the female perspective, as both character and author are female; and as one is the product of the other and thus have similar thought patterns. The books do explain much more than the movie though.
1.) Bella and Edward had been officially dating for approximately 4 months at the beginning of the story. Bella and Edward have strong feelings for each other and have invested 4 months of those feelings and time into each other. When girls invest a lot of time into someone, we have a hard time getting over them (also, this was her first ever boyfriend). In addition, Jacob and Bella had been friends for a long time and she never really had those kinds of feelings for him, although after he rescues her she does consider choosing him (their almost kiss scene interrupted by Edward). And he's going through some difficult times learning how to be a werewolf, like puberty on a supernatural level.

2.) This one has been explained pretty well. If he's wearing pants, they rip to shreds. Later he learns to carry them tied to a string around his leg.

3.) Alice's visions are subjective, however, she didn't see Bella get pulled out of the water and death is pretty well final with humans. Then, as has been explained before, Rosalie calls Edward, tells him Bella jumped off a cliff and is dead. Edward then calls to confirm, blah blah blah. He figures it is highly likely she's dead, given her track record (she's a total klutz and accident prone).

4.) Paper isn't so dangerous, only in Bella's case really as aforementioned. Also, Jasper is supposed to be a vegetarian like the rest of him. They were all hungry from the smell, it was just considerably more difficult for him. And Edward can't control everything.

5.) The book actually has a lot to do with Bella's non-vampire friends, but the movie can only be so long. Blame the director on that one.

6.) As to does Bella do anything, most other answers pertain to the rest of the series, I'm not sure if that's what you meant or if you meant in the book. In the book she does plenty: she looses her first ever boyfriend, finds out that there are werewolves to go with vampires, risks her life to be happy even if it's not what's good for her, saves his life, and has her life change dramatically.

7.) Not all vampires have excessive powers.

Hope that helped. Granted not all of it makes sense, sometimes we aren't always rational but we have our reasons for doing what we do.

Bella didn't choose Jake cos she is a whiny tool. And I'm sorry, but wrapping paper (or any paper) has never given me a paper cut that caused me to lose a half litre of blood. And not only is Bella a whiny tool, she's a selfish, mean, whiny tool who strings along someone who she thinks of as her best friend.

And don't get me started on Stephenie Meyer. All her characters do is stand around and talk! At least JK Rowling puts her main characters in actual danger. Fourth book is STOOPID and won't work as a film. I was Team Edward until New Moon. But you know who's team I was never on? Bella's. Cos she commits the cardinal sin of dumping all her mates once she gets a boyfriend. I could go on and on about her, but I'll reign myself in.

I have to say that for the past couple of hours i have been hooked by the impressive articles on this site. Keep up the great work.

I have to say that for the past couple of hours i have been hooked by the amazing posts on this site. Keep up the wonderful work.