Hey Taylor -
How are you? This is Panama Jackson. You don't know me, but I'm sexxy. So now we know eachother. Yay. Anyway, I saw the MTV VMAs the other night where you got straight Kanye'd by, well, Kanye West. That was not a good look. That whole deer in headlights thing? You have it down pat. Thing is, you completely fumbled what could have been a golden opportunity to do what so many people have wished to do: confront Kanye RIGHT as he does or says something completely ridiculous and make him look like a damn fool.
Basically, you and Mike Myers pulled the same stunned, "what do I do now?" move. You've got to be better prepared for these type of moments. Should this ever happen again - and let's be real, if Kanye is in attendance, anything is possible - here are a few possible retorts:
1) Take the microphone back and bop him in the head with it. For starters, NOBODY will see that one coming. In today's day and age that's technically assault, but everybody will understand because it's Kanye West. You might go down as the first live on-air beatdown of a rapper by a teenage country singer. And probably the last. There's so much upside here I'm getting excited just thinking about it.
2) Tell him that 808's and Heartbreaks was a terrible album, stop whining, and grow a pair. That will really hit him where it hurts. I mean that album did suck but he doesn't seem to acknowledge that. And he's got such a big ego you might end up stunning him as he tries to figure out how anybody could think so little of his "greatness" he might end up saying something even dumber than what he said at the VMAs.
3) Bumrush the stage next time he wins an award. As uncouth as that might be, I think its an occurence just waiting to happen considering all of the d-baggery he's been a party to at awards shows. He's talented so he'll win something else at some point so you'll get the chance. Everybody will cheer and applaud you for getting him back and I'm sure you'll see an uptick in sales by people who probably never listen to your music anyway, like me. It's a total win for everybody. Except Kanye. But that's the point.
Taylor, I sincerely hope that you take my suggestions into consideration. I'm always available to advise on other almost-legal strategies as well. And congratulations on your win.
Yay.
Sincerely, Panama Jackson
How are you? This is Panama Jackson. You don't know me, but I'm sexxy. So now we know eachother. Yay. Anyway, I saw the MTV VMAs the other night where you got straight Kanye'd by, well, Kanye West. That was not a good look. That whole deer in headlights thing? You have it down pat. Thing is, you completely fumbled what could have been a golden opportunity to do what so many people have wished to do: confront Kanye RIGHT as he does or says something completely ridiculous and make him look like a damn fool.
Basically, you and Mike Myers pulled the same stunned, "what do I do now?" move. You've got to be better prepared for these type of moments. Should this ever happen again - and let's be real, if Kanye is in attendance, anything is possible - here are a few possible retorts:
1) Take the microphone back and bop him in the head with it. For starters, NOBODY will see that one coming. In today's day and age that's technically assault, but everybody will understand because it's Kanye West. You might go down as the first live on-air beatdown of a rapper by a teenage country singer. And probably the last. There's so much upside here I'm getting excited just thinking about it.
2) Tell him that 808's and Heartbreaks was a terrible album, stop whining, and grow a pair. That will really hit him where it hurts. I mean that album did suck but he doesn't seem to acknowledge that. And he's got such a big ego you might end up stunning him as he tries to figure out how anybody could think so little of his "greatness" he might end up saying something even dumber than what he said at the VMAs.
3) Bumrush the stage next time he wins an award. As uncouth as that might be, I think its an occurence just waiting to happen considering all of the d-baggery he's been a party to at awards shows. He's talented so he'll win something else at some point so you'll get the chance. Everybody will cheer and applaud you for getting him back and I'm sure you'll see an uptick in sales by people who probably never listen to your music anyway, like me. It's a total win for everybody. Except Kanye. But that's the point.
Taylor, I sincerely hope that you take my suggestions into consideration. I'm always available to advise on other almost-legal strategies as well. And congratulations on your win.
Yay.
Sincerely, Panama Jackson
Leave a comment