People Magazine just released their annual list of the Sexiest Men Currently Walking the Planet or whatever and named Bradley Cooper the sexiest of all the sexy, sexy men. And you best believe the Internet had some opinions about Ryan Gosling not being crowned "Commander In Sexy."
So now we have a clash between Gosling and Cooper fans over who is the sexiest. In one corner, the cocky star of The Hangover, Alias, Wedding Crashers and several terrible movies. In the other, one of the most acclaimed actors of his generation, a star equally adept at romantic dramas (The Notebook) and bleak indie fare (Blue Valentine, Half Nelson). It's like Conan versus Leno, or Community versus Two and a Half Men. Cooper is the populist hero, while Gosling the indie favorite.
If we're measuring purely on popularity, Gosling clearly should have been the winner. He's having a big year with Drive, Crazy, Stupid Love and Ides of March. He's even an Internet meme. Women love him, men will actually sit through his movies. He's that rare star who is both talented, cool and, by all accounts, a pretty decent guy. Plus, he spent 90% of Crazy, Stupid Love shirtless. So what did People do? Ranked him at #10.
Meanwhile, Bradley Cooper...uh, was in The Hangover 2? Starred in that weird sci-fi movie about magic drugs or something that no one saw? Sure, if this was 2008 when The Hangover was the biggest thing in the world, fine. But his win seems a little...lazy.
So who is the sexiest? Check out photos of Cooper and Gosling below and decide. Am I showing my bias by including a photo of Bradley in a stupid hat while Gosling gets to pose with his awesome dog? No comment.
"What's that? I'm the Sexiest Man Alive? That's what I thought."
And since you asked (you didn't), here's my thoughts on the rest of People's Sexiest Men Alive list...
Liam Hemsworth -- Chris is better. Come back when you've played Thor.
Idris Elba -- YES. Lifetime pass for The Wire, plus The Office and the aforementioned Thor. Made The Losers bearable.
Justin Theroux -- You'd be hardpressed to find a bigger Mulholland Drive fan than me, but this nomination is proof that dating Jennifer Aniston does wonders for your career.
Chris Evans -- Yeah, okay. He lost be with Fantastic Four, but won me back with Captain America.
Tim McGraw -- Huh? Sorry, I just fell into a time warp back to 1996 for a second there. Did you say Tim McGraw is on this list?
Josh Charles -- My mom loves him on The Good Wife. Clearly, my mom put this list together.
Joel McHale -- Yep. Should be higher. Please don't cancel Community, NBC.
Jason Momoa -- Dothraki have no time for "sexy" lists. Too much pillaging and horse riding to attend to.
Alec Baldwin -- Alec is a great, funny actor and all, but I swear the photo People is using for him is at least a decade old.
Dylan McDermott -- Seriously, did someone push me into a time machine back to the '90s? Is The Practice TV's hottest show all of a sudden? Yeah, fine, he's on American Horror Story. But COME ON. This list is about as relevant as Barbara Walter's annual Most Fascinating People of the Year snooze-athon.