By now we've all heard the big news: Eva Longoria will not, I repeat will NOT remove the tattoo of her wedding date to Tony Parker from her wrist.
As we all know, every time a celebrity has a tattoo of their ex removed from their body, two things happen: a choir of angels sing a selection from Handel's The Dead March and, god squats in his shower sobbing uncontrollably. The heavens take this stuff seriously and who can blame them; love is supposed to last forever. Especially when it's between two emotionally stunted celebrities.
But as another celestial being, Axl Rose taught us nearly 20 years ago, "Nothing lasts forever even cold November rain." So when the love and excitement fades, many celebrities find themselves out of love and branded with some dip sh*t's name on their ankle, forearm or inner lip. It seems famous people, more than most, love the idea of ink certifying the fact that they're in love. It's like a reverse psychology thing: if you tattoo it, it will last.
I suppose Eva was smart (or cautious); she didn't actually write "Tony Parker Foreva" on her wrist. She wrote their wedding date in Roman Numerals. Now she can play it off as just loving July 6th because it marks the day women were admitted into the US Navy. (Yes, its true.)
Many other celebs were far bolder with professing their eternal love and now have to pay the price.
Angelina Jolie had 'Billy Bob' tattooed on her left shoulder.NOW IT READS: Billy Bob talks funny and hasn't made a good movie in a while
Amy Winehouse's upper breast said 'Blake's."
NOW IT READS: Not Blakes; also, I love taking drugs
Levi Johnston had "Bristol" tattooed around his ring finger.
NOW IT READS: Bristol made me famous; I love hockey, do you guys?
Denise Richards ankle was laced with good old "Charlie"
NOW IT READS: Wanna know who's a Cheating, Coke-Head Womanizer? Yup - Charlie.
Perhaps the takeway lesson from all of this can be learned from the great Megan Fox: Make a choice and stick with it. Rather than constantly dumping the same guy and dropping $10,000 to remove "Brian" from her belly, she decided to just bite the bullet and marry the Brian Austin Green.
Besides, they love each other. How do I know? She has his name tattooed on her body.
Or, if you prefer:
She has his name tattooed on her body. How do I know? They love each other.
Johnny Depp has the best celebrity tattoo story. Back in the early '90s when he was dating Winona Ryder, he got "Winona Forever" tattooed on his arm. After they broke up, he had it shortened to "Wino Forever." Johnny Depp wins at everything.
Yep-- absolutely my favorite celeb tattoo story too, Nick!
Although, I love the alternatives that Amit came up with.
You are so right, FG. I've never understood celebrities' obsession with permanantly inking their beloveds 'at that moment' name on themselves...it's absurd. LOL @ Levi's new tattoo. Hilarious.
Honestly, can't they just wear a piece of jewelry or something that is removeable for when they break up...which inevitably happens. And don't forget Eva also has Tony's jersey number on her neck and his initials in a "private place." Any suggestions, Funny Guy?
The initials "TP" in a private place? I think we know what that can stand for.
haha that was awesome.