-- First up, kudos to Scarlett Johansson for siccing the FBI on the hacker who stole nude photos and other personal information from herself, Jessica Alba, Vanessa Hudgens and several Hollywood actresses. Senor douche could face 121 years in prison, or one year for every nude photo of Vanessa Hudgens. Seriously. Girl never met a MySpace shot she didn't like. 

-- We here at GuySpeak Central loved the Ryan Gosling flick Drive. We loved the hot cast (that Albert Brooks-- what a hunk!), the hot soundtrack and the hot elevator scene (well, before the unpleasantness happened anyway). So boo to the woman in Michigan who is suing the makers of Drive because she went in expecting to see a Fast and the Furious knock-off. The woman's lawsuit claims that the marketing for the movie promised the sort of high-octane action thrill ride that Vin Diesel would star in but that, "Drive' bore very little similarity to a chase, or race action film... having very little driving in the motion picture." First off, WRONG. There was plenty of driving, including three amazing car chase scenes, one of which happens IN THE FIRST FEW MINUTES OF THE MOVIE. Sorry you went in excepting a junk-y action flick and got only THE BEST MOVIE OF THE YEAR, lady. It's people like you who ensure that studios will stop taking risks on edgy stories like Drive and give us endless remakes, sequels and 3D Chipmunks movies. Feminist Ryan Gosling has no time for you, LADY DOUCHE! 

-- The more details that come out about Ashton Kutcher's alleged affair with 22-year-old Sarah Leal, the more gross the whole thing seems. Now Leal is claiming that she slept with Kutcher twice in Vegas on the morning of his sixth wedding anniversary to Demi Moore. Even worse? Kutcher went bareback, refusing to use a condom. Ashton -- just because you're on Two and a Half Men doesn't give you license to start acting like Charlie Sheen. 

-- A woman in Houston is facing jail time for calling her ex boyfriend over 1,000 times in three months, smashing his window with a tire iron, breaking his window with a five-foot sword and penning an insane blog about their epic break-up. When asked why she did it, the woman told police to read her account of the break-up in her blog. Craze-douche! (Hm, perhaps we should take this approach to promote GuySpeak...) 

--  A man in Seattle stiffed a bartender on her tip after ordering food and drinks. Even worse? On the credit card receipt, the jerkhole took the "tip" section literally and wrote, "P.S. You can stand to loose [sic] a few pounds." Nothing better than a chauvinist pig who can't even properly spell his insults. Of course, bartender Victoria Liss took to Facebook to publicly shame the guy.