Jaime Harkin is one of the Head Honeys at IN TOUCH Magazine. Does she consider her publication a merchant of celebrity pain and excess, or harmless entertainment? Her answers kicked my ass and just might open your eyes. Read up, Guyspeaklets...

Funny Guy: How does a human become a Features Editor for one of the biggest tabloid/entertainment magazines in the world? Give us the quick career road map from high school graduation to today.

Jaime Harkin: I was an English major in college and pretty much had no idea how I would make a living once I got my degree. People don't really pay you to sit around and write poems, right? I had taken a journalism course or two and interned at the on-campus faculty newspaper but wasn't notably inspired by either. (This is one of those cases where my internship -- while totally enjoyable -- helped me realize what I *didn't* want to do.) Then, in my very last semester, I randomly took a magazine journalism class and something clicked. It felt more expressive to me; less confined to the "Just the facts, Jack," structure of a large percent of newspaper writing. As luck would have it, my professor had helped students get internships at various publishing companies and had heard that Bauer Publishing -- and more specifically a teen title called Twist magazine -- was hiring an editorial assistant. I got the job, enjoyed years of writing quizzes and break-up guides for the under 16 set and eventually moved over to In Touch as a features writer.  

FG: You notice I wrote tabloid/entertainment because I don't actually know how you refer to In Touch. Is there a distinction between tabloid journalism and celebrity news journalism?

JH: Well, some celebrity magazines are considered to be "more" tabloid than others. You've got the highly-respected People and then you have The National Enquirer. I think all celebrity-based publications ultimately fall under one large umbrella, but there are different levels of credibility in existence. In Touch isn't quite as earnest as People, and we also appeal to a younger demographic. We are also not as salacious as a magazine like The National Enquirer. Really, accessibility is a big part of what we're aiming for. Imagine that you and some friends are sitting around talking about Lindsay Lohan or the Kardashians or what happened on X-Factor this week: We want to echo that vibe *and* give you guys something new to talk about.  

FG: I for one hate the tabloids. They are utterly beneath me. Also I spend, oh I don't know a good 25-45 minutes a day brushing up on who got jailed, knocked up, botox botched or nip-slipped in the last 12 hours. Why do I do that? Why do "we" care?

JH: Um, I'm gonna go ahead and take "Escapism" for $200, Amit. It's 25 - 45 minutes of not thinking about your recent break-up or weight gain or how much it sucks to be part of the 99% or whatever. While there's certainly a double-edged sword aspect in that looking at pictures of flawlessly beautiful stars can make us rue the day we decided not to get bangs or feel super-bummed that we spent too much time in the sun when we were 15, we also feel better knowing we are not the Charlie Sheen's and Lindsay Lohan's of Famousville. No matter how bad things get, the majority of us aren't on house arrest, "ruining" our "looks" from smoking meth or being photographed doing blow at some creepy multimillionaire's apartment. Or, if we are, 12 million people are most likely not clicking on links to see us in all our downward spiraling glory. So, between wishing we were loaded/had Halle Berry's boobs/could steal Nicole Richie's Balencia bag collection and being glad there are not photos of the woman our husband cheated on us with splashed across every TV screen in gyms across the US on Access Hollywood for three evenings straight, I say it all balances out. 

Also, it's easy. You don't have to think very hard. You get to see fun pictures and shoes you want to buy and cute celebrity offspring and find out whether or not Chaz Bono is losing weight on Dancing with the Stars. (He should've dropped more lbs by now, no?!) 

FG: In your 15+ year run in the industry who would you say are/were the top 5 biggest money makers/superstars for you guys? And why? Do we prefer train wrecks? Pure hotties? Heroes? Comeback kids? Do all celebs secretly like getting tabloid attention?

JH: Jen Aniston. Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie. The Kardashians. Sandra Bullock. And then a rotating group of reality TV stars depending on what's airing (i.e. Bachelor and Bachelorette stars do well when it's on, a Real Housewife will sell if that season/cast is getting good ratings, etc). As for what kind of light we want to see our stars in, that depends and it's different for everyone and changes with time. On a whole, people want to see Sandra Bullock ("F*ck Jesse James!") and Jen Aniston ("That Angelina b*tch stole her husband, just like the hoe at my husband's job stole mine!") happy. Angelina resonates as a villian (see Jen A, above) while Brad remains pretty sympathetic (Sexism! Society! Ugh!). Train wrecks will pretty much only sell if they are off-the-rails insane. Think Britney shaving her head, Lindsay's initial transgression from cute Mean Girl to crazed Coke Whore. Once it's "old news" or they've hit rock bottom for the 34th time, interest definitely diminishes. 

No, all celebrities do not love getting attention. A-listers, like Julia Roberts, emphatically do not want to be photographed unless they are on a red carpet willingly promoting something. Leonardo DiCaprio seems epically annoyed when spotted riding his bike around NYC. Kristen Stewart has likened being photographed by paparazzi to being "raped." People who enjoy it tend to be the C-and-D-listers. Of course, no matter what anyone says, there's the old adage: No publicity is bad publicity and being featured in our magazines certainly keeps them relevant. 

FG:: On a personal level, you must be aware that magazines like yours perpetuate what moms and dads and teachers all over the world try to combat: the notion that looks aren't everything. That true beauty, grace and self-esteem can't be "purchased" through mimicking these stars or looking up to them.  Do you buy into the premise that by and large our worship of celebrity culture is out of a hand? Some sort of national disease, infecting our culture and collective psyche?

JH: Of course these are large issues facing our society but really, we're aiming for entertainment. I think people understand that and know what they're buying when they pick up any celebrity weekly. I used to have a hard time myself looking at glossy, gorgeous airbrushed celebrities all day every day but then you realize that for a large percentage of famous people, looking good really is their job and they can invest a lot of time, money and energy into doing just that. Plus, how great is it that me gaining 10 pounds isn't a potential -- gasp -- cover story or six-page feature? 

FG: Ok, more importantly, can you name-drop some celebs that were particularly awesome to interview or get to know? 

JH:  People I have either spoken to or have heard from colleagues are super-friendly/cool include: Leonardo DiCaprio, Adrien Grenier, Blake Lively & Leighton Meester from Gossip Girl are always very gracious and sweet on red carpets, Ryan Gosling -- while ridiculously hot -- does not seem "affected" by the "machine" in any way. I've seen stars like Jennifer Lopez, Keanu Reeves, Jamie Foxx, Ryan Seacrest, Will Smith, Dave Navarro and Gwen Stefani on red carpets and/or backstage at awards shows and been totally impressed with their intelligence-levels, charm and humor. Ben Affleck was incredibly nice to me at a party once. John Stamos snapped at me during a phone interview but was otherwise very cool. Mario Lopez is always nice. Heidi Klum is great and friendly-as-can-be. Joan Rivers hung up on a colleague when he asked a harmless but not pre-approved question. Tara Reid hung up on the same colleague, though I'm not 100% sure why. I've heard that Brad Pitt is decidedly not a rocket scientist, though he does seem quite easy-going. I saw Bono stop and talk to a local Mexican news reporter on the red carpet for a good ten minutes even though he was very late and being rushed inside the event by his people. He was awesome. 

FG: Are there stories or goings-on in the Hollywood community that are 100% true, but so earth shattering and revealing that they don't get written about?  Like, Oh my god, if the United States population actually knew that Jason Bateman was a robot built by IBM in 1969 we might all just stay in bed for two weeks or stop going to work altogether.

JH: Ha. Well, no, I don't have anything quite as earth-shattering as that! I think the biggest "insider" secrets that the general public might not be privy to en masse would be who's gay/closeted in Hollywood and who's had plastic surgery on the low. 

FG: How do you guys actually get the 411 on celebrities? Do you have a network of invisible cats who roam around Hollywood drudging this stuff up and then meowing it back to you guys? And then, thusly, do you guys have a cat interpreter back at the office?

JH: Well, I could tell GuySpeak, but then I'd have to kill GuySpeak, right? We have reporters and their job is to gather information. It's not a "by whatever means necessary" situation, but think of how any reporters gather files: They have access to sources and insiders. Then we'll also have on-the-record stuff, like, for example, with Michelle "Bombshell" McGee, who gave us an exclusive OTR interview about her affair with Jesse James. Those cases are more rare but pretty priceless, especially in a situation like that where we broke what became a very big story. 

FG: What's it like when you pause for a moment at work and realize, Holy hell, I just spent the majority of today tracking down Brad Pitt's hair stylist for a quote? 

JH: It can be kinda surreal at times. Mostly I think: A) This is fun and B) I could be doing something so much worse. Like something involving math. 

FG: With the Twitter, and the YouTube, and the TMZ and the Perez Hiltons, and the In Touch, US Weekly, Star, People, Enquirer, E News Channel, etc, where the hell are we going with all this?  What is the future of Celebrity and reporting on it?  Will it keep accelerating until we just get pinged with Kim Kardashian's Pap smear results on our phone and direct camera access into Robert Pattinson's shower stall?

JH: I think we've entered a different era in the last few years or so. When magazines like ours first came out, it was new, and I don't know that celebrities were prepared for the level of invasion. They have, however, wizened up since then. Stars have always been big with confidentiality agreements and have most -- if not all -- staff members and peripheral people sign them. So on some level there is less access into their private personal lives. Still, celebs are human, and can forget that when you're a huge star who also happens to be married to another huge star and you're in a hotel bathroom surrounded by a bevy of young women, one of those women may have a phone with a camera and may just sell some fuzzy pics of you surrounded by said women and your possibly-impending divorce may become a really, really hot topic very, very quickly. So, while I believe there is now less info to be gleamed from the smartened-up set, there is certainly enough going on to fill blogs and sites and the pages of our magazine every week.  

FG: What's your advice to the college age or career shiftier out there that wants to get into professional writing, reporting on celebs/pop-culture. 

JH: Blogging is good. Have a voice. It certainly doesn't have to be Perez Hilton's voice, but, he's famous for a reason. He's not just some guy who reports what happens on his website. He has a take and an angle and that's incredibly important in such a flooded market. In college you would want to take writing and journalism courses and definitely expose yourself to magazine and web writing classes. Talk to your respective professors/teachers: Get their advice and see who they know out in the field. And intern, intern, intern. Apply to all the places you would love to work for. Once you've got a foot in the door, you're in a good spot. 

FG: Jaime, you've been an awesome sport for letting me grill, roast and poke you on GuySpeak. Thank you.  Want to do any major plugging?

JH: No, thank you! People can check out our site for all the hot goss. I am also a guest on the Bochinche Bueno Radio Show, which you can follow on Twitter  Whee!

FG: Oh sh*t, one last question. Can I have Emmanuelle Chriqui's contact info? I truly believe if we just had 300 hours alone - to, you know - get to know each other, she would love me.  And, yes, I have written permission from Mrs. Funny Guy to woo her - so it's all good.

JH: I'll get right on that! ;)