This holiday season, ask the bro in your life the following simple question: "What is your favorite Christmas movie?"

If he answers "It's A Wonderful Life," great. It's a classic, a hard, dark, and oddly inspiring look deep inside the American Dream. If he says "White Christmas," even better. That's a bizarre flick: a holiday movie about the loyalty that combat inspires. Maybe he's says "A Christmas Story," the droll, witty period piece about how unsentimental and opportunistic little kids really are about Santa.

Honestly, you're in the clear if he mentions underrated Christmas flicks like "A Nightmare Before Christmas," "Love, Actually," or "Die Hard." Each of those is a must see this time of year. Those movies prove he's got eclectic tastes. 

But if he says he doesn't have a favorite Christmas movie, dump him.  This is the number one sign he's Scroogeworthy (other signs include: a love of nightcaps and shirts, a fondness for poor houses, late night digestion problems, ghost infestations.) A guy who doesn't have or doesn't like watching Christmas movies is a modern day Ebeneezer Grinch Doosh -- he'll never be any fun during any other important holiday.

If he can't celebrate Magic Space Baby Day, then how will he celebrate any other holiday? Will he spend Super Bowl Sunday Eve preparing the traditional Wheelbarrow of Nachos? No. You won't catch this guy dressing up like Woodrow Wilson for President's Day. Personally, I wouldn't want to eat any patriotic pork tubes from his grill on July Fourth.  

He is a human lump of coal. Very naughty, a disappointment to the pagan troll we call Santa Claus. Not to mention dull, with a capital "duhhh." I don't care how excellent his taste in cinema might be -- if he does not love at least one Christmas Movie, then he is obviously suffering from some kind of severe social disorder. Like "Daddy Drank Because Mommy Didn't Love Him Syndrome" or "He's A Boring Dickitis."

Christmas movies are as important a film genre as cowboy movies, romantic comedies, and gangster flicks. They take all kinds of forms, from the overly schmaltzy "A Miracle on 34th Street," to hilarious, modern interpretations of timeless tales like "Scrooged." "Bad Santa" is a filthy, cynical Christmas movie, and "Gremlins" is a version with monsters.

A person who doesn't like Christmas movies, or can't even name a favorite, is someone who will eventually disappoint you during the holidays. It's just that simple. They probably never clapped as a kid during "Peter Pan." 

I'm no Scrooge. Once the Yuletide season is upon us, I think I'm pretty average. I hit the nog bong. I dread shopping at the mall, wrapping the presents, and paying off my credit card bill... but I do them all. Then, I curl up and watch "Batman Returns," which is a  great Christmas movie.

I'm not saying a man has to be a jolly old elf and fart tinsel. He doesn't actually have to believe it's the most wonderful time of the year. And that corny old carol is wrong anyway: the most wonderful time of the year is happy hour. He doesn't have a to spread joy; tossing a few shovelfuls here and there is nice though.

However, he should think "Elf" is awesome. Same with "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation."

But a man who rolls his eyes at holiday cheer, who's too good to wear a pair of fuzzy reindeer antlers, or who has no appetite for sprinkles, frosting or lard is a man not to be trusted. He's not to be trusted with children, or national security secrets, or to pull out. This guy is Frosty the Snow Man without the magical hat. He's boring, like paint drying, only without all the color. He dreams in VHS. Chances are, his gifts will suck. Because he doesn't know how to listen, which is the only way you can find out what people want.

I'm just warning you here. Think of it as my gift to all of you.