One of my favorite games to play while lounging in the summer sun is Do, Date or Dump. (It actually has a naughtier name along the lines of Fornicate, Marry, Murder, but I'm trying to talk like a lady.) To get the summer fun rolling, I asked the guys which fictional character from TV or movies they wanted to Do, which they wanted to Date and which they wanted to Dump. Check out their answers below!
Wise Ass says:
I picked women in films by the Coen brothers.
DO: Maude Lebowski (The Big Lebowski): An artist whose work is "strongly vaginal," she likes sex. You know, coitus, the physical act of love. It's a natural, zesty enterprise.
DATE: Marge Gunderson (Fargo): Practical? Cheerful? Assertive? You betcha! Careful, though -- she knows how to use a gun. She's also married and pregnant, which could be problematic.
DUMP: Edwina "Ed" McDunnough (Raising Arizona): Who wears the pants in the family, H.I.? Ed does. High-strung, confrontational, slightly obsessed with becoming a mother. Anger issues.
AVOID: Anton Chigurh (No Country For Old Men): Her hair is awful. She'll also kill you.
Funny Guy says:
Do: Velma from Scooby Doo, because I love cute girls and Daphne always got all the attention; that ain't cool. Plus there was an episode where they have a luau, and it's revealed that Velma actually has a seriously rockin' bod under that giant shapeless orange sweater.
Date: Bea from SIrens of Titan, by Vonnegut. She's a beautiful, rich widower (okay, her husband's caught in a time paradox, but the point is he's little competition), and if you stay together long enough you end up living in a crystal palace on Mars.
Dump: Patricia Heaton from Everybody Love's Raymond. She's constantly yelling, often acts like their children don't exist, and doesn't even appreciate how lucky she is--as a sitcom wife--not to be married to a high-functioning 300-pound retarded alcoholic.
Chic Geek says:
I'm doing this one entirely off the cast of TV Land's new sitcom Hot In Cleveland, which is about cougars cougar-y it up in the Midwest or something.
Do: Jane Leeves - Always liked her on Frasier.
Date: Wendie Malick - Funny in, uh, I don't remember what sitcom she was previously on. Caroline in the City, maybe? Anyway, she's always funny. (Note from Wise Ass: Wendie was on Just Shoot Me and, before that, Dream On.)
Dump: Valerie Bertinelli - Was anyone hoping she'd make a comeback? Her Jenny Craig ads are annoying.
Marry: Betty White - Yeah, yeah, there's no marry. But clearly this is the way to go here.
Also, everyone in involved in this show needs to dump their agent immediately.
Reformed Player says:
All of these are easy questions to answer. And they will all come from Star Trek: The Next Generation. Because I love a woman in uniform.
Do: Lieutenant Tasha Yar. I've always been attracted to tomboys: short hair, sexy swagger, a knowledge of phaser weapons and photon technology.
Date: Commander Deanna Troi. A sensitive, sultry alien empath who wears low cut, body-hugging jumpsuits. I will give her 1,000 star babies.
Dump: Dr. Beverly Crusher. I love redheads as much as the next guy, but Dr. Crusher just seems like a killjoy with a hypo-spray.
Gal Pal says:
As a former pianist for the West Connection show choir in Bellevue, Nebr., I have no choice but to go Glee on this.
Do: Puck (Mark Salling) AND Finn (Cory Monteith). It's like trying to choose between chocolate ice cream or vanilla - I want to taste them both. Serve me a Puck/Finn swirl cone, please.
Date: Mr. Schuester (Matthew Morrison). I'm hot for teacher. I'm burning hot for show choir teacher.
Dump: Coach Sue Sylvester (Jane Lynch). She's the lady we all love to loathe. Jane Lynch just got married in real life, so by process of elimination I can't date or do her...dumping her deliciously evil character just feels right.
Girl's BFF says:
OK, so what fictional characters would you do, date and dump?
"And they will all come from Star Trek: The Next Generation"
*Cough* Nerd! *Cough*
LOL!!! I know, right?!
Maude Lebowski, FTW! Smart, sexy, and... thorough.
Points to John for Wendie Malick, however. Love her!
My picks:
Do: The male cast of True Blood, especially Eric the Vampire. With a side of Jason Stackhouse on the side!
Date: Jason Bateman: cute AND funny? Yes, please! 2nd choice = Joel McHale, for the same reasons.
Dump: John Mayer, Douchebag Extraordinaire. Ew.
Bev, you are right on about Jason Bateman AND Joel McHale. Double yum.
Whoops! I meant points to Nick, not John.
PS) You guys would probably get tons more comments if the site didn't have so many bugs. You need some Terminex up in here!
;)
It's being worked on. Not by me, but by other nerds. I have too many video games to play.
Yay! Thanks, Nick.
Do:Marlon Brando in his earlier films (streetcar named desire); dangerous sexy man, the guys from spartacus blood and sand and 300
Date: Paul Newman's Brick in Cat on a hot tin roof; who wouldn't date a closeted gay man married to Elizabeth taylor, every gay guy's dream
sleep with the husband; hate the gorgeous wife but secretly envy her....Jim from the office he is so adorable
Dump: Michael scott has to be one of the grossest characters on tv
Do: Freddie Ljungberg, the Swedish Soccer player. Google him, and you'll understand why.
Date: Henry Cavill from The Tudors. The guy speaks nine languages, is amazingly handsome, and has a pet parrot. What's not to love?
Dump: Robert Pattinson. I just don't find him attractive.
I always hated Tasha Yar because she seduced Data, and this is an enormously nerdy confession, I used to have a HUGE crush on Data. And it's COUNSELOR Deanna Troi, not Commander. I'll do TNG too so you don't feel like a nerdy outcast, John!
Do: Riker, with the beard. Let's face it, without the beard he just isn't Riker.
Date: Data. I had a crush on him for a long time when I was younger, and even though he's emotionless, he's fully functional ;).
Dump: Wesley. It took him WAY too long to stop wearing those horrid sweaters, and he's super annoying.
Jeez, I'm a nerd :P.
WOW! Here I thought I was the only one who had a crush on Data! That is way too funny!
Riker was AWESOME! But well let's face it, not Data.
Couldn't stand Jordy Laforge (maybe in large part due to Reading Rainbow...I'm not sure...LOL)
And Wesley...well I loved...still love Stand By Me...so by default I loved Wesley (and he does an awesome cameo on TBBT! BRING ME WILL WHEATON!)
**For the record I was more of an Original Series fan...SPOK & SULU WERE MY FAVES! But yes I like TNG, but stopped there.
NERD REPLY OVER!
Hmmmm...I think I'll do the cast of The A-Team since I just saw the movie...
(I give it 4 out of 5 stars!)
DO: Sharlto Copley...he has the funny guy appeal and he's attractive (very much so).
DATE: Liam Neeson...I really don't know why...just because I could I guess...must be the laugh.
DUMP: Bradley Cooper...he seems nice, but in the long run I think he'd get too clingy.
Okay, I'll use John Hughes' movie characters for mine.
Do: Jake Ryan from Sixteen Candles. The boy is just eye candy (pardon the outdated slang!)
Date: Duckie Dale from Pretty in Pink. I'm soooo in love with him. He's so awesome; I love his clothes, bolo ties, everything! And Andie was so stupid!!! STUPID!!! for choosing Blane!!!
Anyway *ahem* moving on.
Dump: Andy Clark from The Breakfast Club. He's just too ordinary. I like my guys with a bit of spice. ;)
This was a lot of fun to read!! If we really want to decide who to date or dump, I heard of this handy website called Wisemuv (just google search it) that is useful for relationship help. It seems like it can really help people. Now back to the game... I agree with Bronwyth!
DO: Donald Draper in Mad Men. He makes a three-piece suit look so sexy! I want him to have his way with me. Not good boyfriend material due to excessive smoking, drinking, and cheating. But sex? Yes, please!
DATE: Jim from The Office. Cute and quirky. I think he would be a fun boyfriend.
DUMP: Edward the vampire from Twilight. Don't see the appeal. Cold and pale? No thanks.
DO: Donald Draper from Mad Men. He looks so sexy in a three-piece suit. I want him to have his way with me. Not boyfriend material due to excessive smoking, drinking, and cheating. But sex? YES PLEASE!
DATE: Jim from The Office. Cute and quirky. I think he would be a fun boyfriend.
DUMP: Edward from Twilight. Yeah, it's cool I guess that he looks all glittery in the sun, but I'm not into pale, cold skin. Plus he just seems kinda creepy.
FRIEND: This isn't an option, but I want to be best friends with Hurley from LOST. He was always upbeat and laid back, even when everyone was worked up about smoke monsters, polar bears, and "the others." Hurley would be cool to hang out and drink a beer with anytime.