Just because he looks like a man, talks like a man, adjusts his joint while standing in the all-you-can eat crab leg buffet like a man doesn't mean he's a man. Appearances, as they say, can be deceiving. Hello, Terminators? They look like hairless dreamboat meatballs on the outside, but inside, they're man killing robo-skeletons. More likely, your boyfriend or husband might be something even worse. He might not be a man, but a momma's boy, a man-child, or a he-diva. A frat boy in a man's suit and tie. A picky, eye-rolling hipster bitch under a lumberjack beard.
A man knows when to play, and when to get shit done. A man can ice a bro, but then takes care of business. He cringes at the thought that college were "the best years of his life." Because the best years of his life are always ahead of him. Man does not live on beer, boobs, and bacon alone. Now... are you so sure your resident X/Y chromosome is a man? Has doubt been planted? Are you staring at him right now, as he battles terrorists on his Xbox, and thinking "Is he a Trojan Man?" And no, not the condom. But a man who looks like a man, but is in fact, full of tiny, itty-bitty, marshmallow-high doucheballs?
Well, here are fifteen signs your dude is also a man. A real man.
1. He earns his right to be lazy.
2. He understands that tears aren't weakness. That's just how courage sheds excess water weight.
3. He will brave a hailstorm of Biblical proportions to buy you tampons. In fact, soaking wet, he will stride up to the counter at the all-night drug store and boldy slam the box of "heavy flow" and be all "Whut? Also: this bag of Goobers."
4. When he's wrong, he says he's wrong. Just like Baby's daddy.
5. He never stabs a rival in the back. He'll look them in the eye, coolly tell them what's coming and stab them in the face.
6. He knows that, in an emergency, he can fill in for AC/DC's Brian Johnson.
7. If you ask him, he has a well-thought out zombie attack defense plan, complete with escape routes, alternate escape routes, and instructions on how to turn a broom, some duct tape, and a kitchen knife into a fearsome zombie killing spear.
8. He hugs you like he's your own, personal bungee cord harness.
9. The last slice of pizza is yours. Always.
10. He communicates his feelings with housework.
11. He pays for dinner, because it's one of the best ways he knows how to spend his money.
12. Every time he says "I love you," it sounds like a revelation, a promise, and a poem all at once.
13. When Spock dies, he's not afraid to cry.
14. He knows the difference between making love to your divine flesh, and slapping that ass.
15. He is proud of you. Because your victories are his. YEAH! GO TEAM!
LOL @ number five!!!
this was great. thanks.
Hi Mr. Devore,
Wait? Is this an article for women? I wish there were the same set of standards for women. Just substitute a few things.
i.e. Whens she's wrong, she says she's wrong. Just like Baby's mommy. She communicates her feelings with housework. Every time she says "I love you," it sounds like a revelation, a promise, and a poem all at once.
And last but not least. A woman would NEVER. "... look them in the eye, coolly tell them what's coming and stab them in the face." It's always a back stab.
Oh well, us men have it rough.
I want to know when you met my husband. Seriously. You described him perfectly - right down to the last slice of pizza.
Thanks for the giggles. :)
I want to know when you met my husband. Seriously. You described him perfectly - right down to the last slice of pizza.
Thanks for the giggles. :)
I want to know when you met my husband. Seriously. You described him perfectly - right down to the last slice of pizza.
Thanks for the giggles. :)
Reading this made me fall just a little more in love with my man.
John, Real men also:
warm up your spot in bed for you before you get in.
give the kiddos baths just because he wants too.
stops playing WOW so that you can check guyspeak and cafemom (aka, sit down for 5 damn minutes)
says "I was thinking spaghetti and meatballs, want me to make dinner?" when he knows you have had a long day.
brings you home frappachino's and puts them in the fridge so its the 1st thing you see when you open the door in the morning.
brags about you to his friends and doesnt get mad when they say "wanna trade?" but then of course declines the offer.
real men do exist, they are rare, but they do indeed exist!
Me, Me Me
Aweee I liked this ;)
This was awesome. Made me love my boyfriend even more. =)
Where's the one about when he says "whats that noise?" and then farts.
MMMM. Hunka hunka burnin love.
Here's a good one ...
How about when your man says, "Go out out back - I'll meet you there. I wanna show you something.".
So you walk out into the back yard and wait. He sneaks out the front door and calls you to the side of the house. You go to the gate , swing open the gate and realize, that it (amazingly), it all of a sudden works!
You slap your hands over your mouth in gratefulness and begin jumping around (doing the happy dance).
He says, " I went around the other way 'cuz I wanted to see your face".
How effing sweet is that?!?!?!
There definitely some REAL men out there. Mine just happened to come to my doorstep.
Yeah ... just re-read that. Sorry about all those mistakes! Guess I got distracted somewhere along the lines. lol
My man, aka my FWB guy whom I dearly love, is the epitome of this list. Yes, he could indeed make a zombie killing spear like thing. But he would use me as bait to lure them in.
My man, aka my FWB guy whom I dearly love, is the epitome of this list. Yes, he could indeed make a zombie killing spear like thing. But he would use me as bait to lure them in.
#10 is my favorite. This one will literally make me drop to my knees. ;-)
you and me both lady!
#4 = win
Ha! My fellow to a T.
#7 is very important. To both of us.
# 2 and #14 are the best!!!!
Number 11 is what every girl wants to hear. It's a gateway to jewelry, houses and other hard assets just being thrown their way all for their blessed presence in your life.
Being single is a blessing among blessings!
This should be retitled: 15 Ways to Make Your Woman Want to Have Sex With You All the Time.
this is my boyfriend, and I love him :)
If only men like this weren't so incredibly hard to find.
1) my boyfriend felt so guilty when he ran over a cat on the highway,he reversed back and moved its limp body off the street.
2) i hate purses, he keeps my tampons in his pack pocket right next to his wallet
3) last mushroom, black olive, and cheese ( our fav combo) is alwayz mine hands down
i was just surfing the net and i saw this. thanx 4 reminding me that i struck gold
1) my boyfriend felt so guilty when he ran over a cat on the highway,he reversed back and moved its limp body off the street.
2) i hate purses, he keeps my tampons in his pack pocket right next to his wallet
3) last mushroom, black olive, and cheese is alwayz mine hands down
4) he hollers and curses with his friends when his team is losing, but makes love to me at halftime 4 good luck
i was just surfing the net and i saw this. thanx 4 reminding me that i struck gold