This week on Guyspeak, our blog theme is "How To Win A Guy" -- a good choice considering all the questions we get from readers about how they can get a guy to notice them, like them, ask them out and/or commit to them. Every day this week, one of the guys here will chime in with his two cents, so be sure to check the blog page daily.
I was lucky enough to draw first dibs, but before I give you my opinion, let me remind you of a couple of things you already know: one, every guy is different, so what works for one might not work for another. We're going for broad tendencies here. Two, you can't really make anyone like you. Some guys will like you, some won't. C'est la vie. There's no magic formula that works on every guy.
So, take these for the general suggestions they are, and don't hate me
because I'm beautiful if they don't work on your guy. Or do hate me. Whatever. I can take it.
1) Be yourself
It's not rocket science. Just be yourself. Don't try to be something you're not.
There are guys out there for every type of girl, so be yourself and get a guy who fits you. Or fake a personality that isn't you and get a guy who's a terrible match, then watch the relationship fall apart when you get tired of faking it and your man wonders why you suddenly changed.
2) Know yourself
How can you know what you want in a mate when you don't even know who you are? A lot of self-awareness comes with age, but, in the meantime, get to know the unique individual who is you: what you like, what you want in life, what you value.
We all know women who say they have bad taste in men. I think the reason is often that they don't really know who they are, so they either pick guys who are a bad fit or let their guys define them and then resent it later.
A good time to learn about you is when you don't have a mate, so appreciate your single days for that reason if no other.
3) Be nice
Even Dalton (Patrick Swayze) in Road House knew this. Be nice, he told his fellow bouncers, over and over again (bouncers can be kind of dumb). Same goes for romance. Be nice. Not just to the guy you like, but to everyone. Not only is it a better way to live, but it makes you more attractive.
Nobody wants to date a beyotch. A hot beyotch can get laid, but the layer probably won't stick around long.
Also, as the old saying goes, if you're nice to your guy but mean to the waiter, you're not nice. Be kind to everyone. It's the right thing to do, and rare enough these days that people notice it.
4) Be confident
What's the best way to get a guy to notice you? Sleep with him. No, no, I'm kidding. Talk to him. Just talk to him. If you like a guy, go up to him and introduce yourself. What have you got to lose?
Self-confidence is a turn-on, and sometimes guys need to be thumped on the head to notice what's right in front of us. When your subtle hints of attraction don't work, take the direct approach. We'll always remember the girl who came up and introduced herself to us.
Same goes for dating. If we already know you but we haven't asked you out, ask us out first. Yes, you risk rejection, but so what? Life is full of rejection; better you should get used to it now.
If you don't have confidence, fake it. That's right, fake it till you make it. Yeah, I know, that goes against "be yourself," but we'll make an exception here, because the more you fake it, the more natural and real it becomes. Confidence is nothing more than a state of mind, available to anyone. Take it. But don't confuse confident with cocky. Nobody likes cocky.
5) Take care of yourself
Everyone interprets this differently, but I'm talking about things like good health (both physical and mental) and balance and self-respect. I'm not going to tell you that things like working out and drinking water and meditating will snag a mate. What they will do is make you the best that you can be (gawd, I sound like an Army commercial), and that's sort of the overall theme here: taking care of you is step one. So you can win a guy? No, so you can be happy and healthy and enjoy your life. The fact that it will make you more attractive to guys is just gravy.