What, you think we don't know jerk behavior when we see it? We do. You think we like it when a few idiots try to ruin it for the rest of us? We don't. If you're a guy reading this list and you do anything on it, knock it the hell off already, would ya?
File under Random and See, We Aren't All Alike.
1. Bump and run
Are you a man or a feral cat? You don't just get to knock up a woman and disappear like the child isn't your responsibility. Actually, on second thought, she's probably better off without you around. But would it kill you to pay child support? Yeah, we know, you "hate that bitch," but what the baby do?
2. Tell a woman you're interested when you're not and then vanish
Way to go, buttmunch. You were too scared to tell her the truth, now she's writing Guyspeak and asking, "Why are guys so mean?" And we'll have to answer the question 11 times before she believes we aren't all like you.
3. Spit in public
What kind of inbred knuckle-dragger walks around spitting everywhere? I see this all the time, and from all different types of guys. Why, just the other day I was in a parking lot when I heard that nails-on-a-chalkboard sound of someone sucking phlegm into his mouth from the deepest recesses of his sinus cavity, and loudly. About six of us turned at the same time to see a respectable, well-groomed older gentleman -- think of your dad -- who, with a thunderous PFTHOOOOT!, hocked the mother of all loogies about five feet out in front of him. Then he wiped the corners of his mouth like nothing happened and went on his merry way. The fuck?! Thanks, Dad. I wasn't hungry anyway.
4. Talk trash about your mama
Nuh uh. Don't be talking that junk. She might be the Devil herself but we don't want to hear it. No self-respecting man dogs out his mother.
5. Don't wash your hands after you pee
I'm sorry you were raised by jackals, but consider embracing the concept of evolution. No, I won't shake your hand. Not gonna high-five you, either, because that's a high-six when you count the penis all over your hand. By the way, how were those chicken wings? Finger-lickin' good?
6. Be rude to the server
Dude, that was SO badass how you told off that poor waitress who forgot your extra mayo. PWN3D!!!! One small problem--that was my sister, and now she's crying, so I need you to step outside with me for a sec.
7. Burn rubber when the light turns green
Whoa there, Dale, Jr.! We didn't know it was a race. We concede--we're no match for you and your mom's Taurus. Never mind what we think. The tire salesman loves you.
I could go on but guys also don't like it when other guys talk too much, so this will have to do for now.
File under Random and See, We Aren't All Alike.
1. Bump and run
Are you a man or a feral cat? You don't just get to knock up a woman and disappear like the child isn't your responsibility. Actually, on second thought, she's probably better off without you around. But would it kill you to pay child support? Yeah, we know, you "hate that bitch," but what the baby do?
2. Tell a woman you're interested when you're not and then vanish
Way to go, buttmunch. You were too scared to tell her the truth, now she's writing Guyspeak and asking, "Why are guys so mean?" And we'll have to answer the question 11 times before she believes we aren't all like you.
3. Spit in public
What kind of inbred knuckle-dragger walks around spitting everywhere? I see this all the time, and from all different types of guys. Why, just the other day I was in a parking lot when I heard that nails-on-a-chalkboard sound of someone sucking phlegm into his mouth from the deepest recesses of his sinus cavity, and loudly. About six of us turned at the same time to see a respectable, well-groomed older gentleman -- think of your dad -- who, with a thunderous PFTHOOOOT!, hocked the mother of all loogies about five feet out in front of him. Then he wiped the corners of his mouth like nothing happened and went on his merry way. The fuck?! Thanks, Dad. I wasn't hungry anyway.
4. Talk trash about your mama
Nuh uh. Don't be talking that junk. She might be the Devil herself but we don't want to hear it. No self-respecting man dogs out his mother.
5. Don't wash your hands after you pee
I'm sorry you were raised by jackals, but consider embracing the concept of evolution. No, I won't shake your hand. Not gonna high-five you, either, because that's a high-six when you count the penis all over your hand. By the way, how were those chicken wings? Finger-lickin' good?
6. Be rude to the server
Dude, that was SO badass how you told off that poor waitress who forgot your extra mayo. PWN3D!!!! One small problem--that was my sister, and now she's crying, so I need you to step outside with me for a sec.
7. Burn rubber when the light turns green
Whoa there, Dale, Jr.! We didn't know it was a race. We concede--we're no match for you and your mom's Taurus. Never mind what we think. The tire salesman loves you.
I could go on but guys also don't like it when other guys talk too much, so this will have to do for now.
Right with you Cary! I've run into at least one guy who didn't wash his hands after he peed. Disgusting. Nearly every girl has a story about some douchebag who led her on and then vanished, and you know what they say about a guy's relationship with his mom being a sign of how he'll treat women. Being rude to servicepeople is inexcusable in anyone of either gender.
my husband went pee one time an didnt wash his hands mins later he was sucking hot sauce off his fingers and then we tried to kiss me i was like umm how about go wash ur hands an brush ur teeth an use mouthwash cause i dont wanna taste ur piss.....i have had jerks ones that say one thing then disappear not all men r like that thank god....an if a man can't respect the most important woman in his life(his mother) then he isnt gonna respect u...i was always told never tip a waitress or be nice to them but i cant do that i always leave a generous tip and always talk with respect if they mess up shit happens its not the servers fault the cook messed up ....screeching tires yeah okay if u wanna go through tires like crazy go ahead..i squealed tires once an it blew a tire so since then i dont do it but some men need to grow up an take responsibility for there actions in my opinion so men just need to stay single
Cary, don't ever let anyone tell you that writing on the internet isn't a "real job".
You just made the world a better place.
Oh, it's a real job, trust me.
Thanks for the compliment.
This should be in a cosmo magazine. xoxo
Now that's just insulting. ;)
We don’t like those either, but I think our list may be a tad longer...
Probably.
Bravo! This should be required reading for all men. Nice to know there are still some gentlemen with manners around.
You should rewrite the bible.
The spitting is awful. I want to stick those guys in their fucking faces.
no one should rewrite the bible it was wrote the way it was cause that how God wanted it wrote and yes the spitting is awful but that doesnt mean the bible should be rewrote may god forgive u for even saying that
Huh? I'm almost certain the meant the (figurative) guy bible, not the Good Book.
Cary,
BRAVO!
You totally just helpped someone im sure!
My BF wrote a complaint on the back of the bill once when we were out eatting with some friends. It was rude and over something SO STUPID!!! I knabbed it before he got the chance to hand it in but its still the thought!
Not washing your hands on anyones part is absolutely descusting!
And as for the spitting....thats just wrong...
Thanks for the praise, y'all.
Okay, I just have one query on the mom thing. What if his mother really is horrible, stealing his money, etc. And he's not a jerk about what he says. He doesn't say like "She's such a bitch." He just says things like "She's kind of a manipulative person." No excessive insults, and all completely warranted. In fact, I've met the woman and he's going easy on her. :(
Douchebagitis seems to be affecting too many men.