I had a girlfriend a few years back that insisted I terminate my friendships with essentially any girl I ever hooked up with. Yes, you heard me right. Whether it was a girl I French kissed at summer camp in 1994, or a great friend that I first met as a failed blind date ten years ago, I was given a choice, break up with these females or break up with her. As an aside, I was also told I shouldn't eat anything that wasn't prepared at home, and I shouldn't talk to my sister too much.

So, being that I was not fresh off the boat, but rather in my late 20's and of sound mind and body, I responded to all these insane demands logically: I agreed.

Now, the only reason these requests would be remotely reasonable would be if I was a sketchy, cheaty, shady dude and/or a six year old with deadly food allergies. But I wasn't. I was just a naive guy: fully present, and open to being in a relationship.

I share this lovely story because there's a good lesson to be gleaned by my idiocy. As the poet Ice Cube once said far more succinctly than me, "You better check yo self before you wreck yo self."

This of course simply means: make sure your boyfriend or girlfriend aren't demanding things of you or from you that are bonker-ass or cuckoo cuckoo. Make sure they adhere to a general sense of boundaries, realism and trust. Sometimes a partner may demand things so far on the bizarre and nonsensical scale it goes full circle and tricks you into thinking it is normal.

Of course, it's easy now, to look back and say, "hey everyone's got issues; this girl wasn't a maniacal witch from hell. She was no unhinged she beast. She was just sadly misguided, scared and operating from a nutty playbook passed down to her from her nutty Mom, reinforced by her nutty sister."

But, non-the-less, if you are reading this now and in one of those relationships where your family and friends are giving you the "I know its none my business, but are you sure you're ok with..."
1. Not being allowed to wear sneakers
2. Never seeing your best friends
3. Having frosted tips and your eyebrows threaded every 4 days
4. Preparing a gourmet meal every night of the week
5. Missing your Mom's birthday party because it's too cold outside

PLEASE, take a minute and check yourself.

There are plenty of fish in the sea. This piranha you're dating isn't the only cold-blooded aquatic vertebrate out there.

Happy Swimming.