I should first ask, do you guys know what a Beachmaster is? You probably do, but have never heard the term. This week's post was inspired by a two-minute nature documentary clip my friend told me I had to see. The clip introduced me to the world of elephant seals and the awesome term, Beachmaster.
"Damn, Jeff's really taking it to him. I'd be surprised if his proboscis isn't broken."
Last night , I found myself snuggled with my elephant seal sweetie, Miss Funny Guy, watching Footloose. Not the dumb remake, but the superbly brilliant 80's gold, starring Kevin Bacon. Much of the movie is the story of a new Beachmaster, Ren McCormack (KB), butting heads with the town's current Beachmaster, Chuck Cranston.
It not only echoed my morning viewing, but solidified what I have thought for years. We humans are essentially sea creatures with nice shoes and Gmail addresses. We may have crawled out of the sea a while back, but the elephant seal still lives in all of us. Look around, we still subscribe to the same oppressive rules and order.
And of course it's not only dudes in every middle school, high school, college, work place and neighborhood that fight for top billing. Women have their own Beachmasters. Take for example the first five minutes of Footloose.
When the oh-so-dreamy Kevin Bacon is first spotted by the girls, Rusty, the "dumpy" Sarah Jessica Parker, identifies this dude as Beachmaster material BUT "naturally" suppresses her own possible interest in him so that the queen Beachmaster, Ariel, can "have a go at him". She's just a messenger, a tier two squid delivering the news to the identified hottie.
Rusty talking to Ariel: He's from out of town and don't tell me that doesn't curl your toes because I know it does.
Hey Rusty? Why not take your own stab at this new Beachmaster?
Sure, by the end of the movie she gets with Chris Penn's character. But, let's not bullsh*t each other, Chris is far from a Beachmaster...
This is all to say, or rather put out there - are we just hopelessly locked into this system? Is it so biologically or genetically encoded - our statuses, our social hierarchy, our limitations or expectations? Can the shy, skinny elephant seal ever hope to be a Beachmaster? Can the Rusty's of the world ever score the Kevin Bacons?
More interesting to me, readers, are you a Beachmaster? Were you once one in High School, but have lost your tusk power? Where do you place yourself in your social group? Does our society allow for more wiggle room? Or, like our cousins from the surf, is our fate sealed?
I feel like a lot of times a person is a Beachmaster at one time in their lives and then not at another time. For instance, often someone is a Beachmaster in high school and then you go to your 20th reunion and you realize you're the Beachmaster and they're the the Beachloser. You just have to be ok with wherever you are in your life.
I was one of the Beachoutsiders... and proud to be so. But I do remember the Beachmasters.
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