Half of me wants to smack you for even asking this question. Actually, all of me does. Please do as the one and only John Devore advises. And put this song on repeat on you iPod. 

Truth is, no matter what you get him, she won't like it because she is already jealous of your relationship. You could give him Chuck E. Cheese game tokens and she'd be pissed. Does she know about the thoughtful, expensive gift he got you? Somehow I doubt it--which would mean there's an element of dishonesty in their relationship now. So the real problem here isn't the gifts, but her jealousy of your friendship. But you already knew that.

I understand that you don't want to get him in hot water, but her jealousy is their problem, not yours. Your goal is to honor his friendship with an appropriate gift, so do that and let her handle it however she wants to handle it. Chances are, he won't tell her about your gift anyway. If he does, she will hate it regardless, so why bother tiptoeing around her? And don't worry about competing with her gift. She probably got him a leash.

Oh, just get him a framed photo of yourself and be done with it. His current relationship is teetering on a cliff of jealousy. Be a friend to your friend and push this envious girl over the edge. 

It's not a bad sign so much as it's a sign that he had no idea what to get you and went for simple, easy, and utilitarian. 

Now here's the thing, you can totally tell him that you appreciate the PJs but he needs to do better. There is nothing wrong with telling somebody that the gift they got you totally shows that they aren't paying any attention to you. If he's a good guy, he'll admit it. He knows the deal. All this assumes that you haven't said, "I need PJs" at any point during your dalliance. If you have, it's your own fault.

Gal Pal says: 

Just be glad he didn't buy you these hoodie-footie PJs. Wait - is that what he bought you? My poor, poor girl. Come here so we can all give you a hug. 

When a woman of interest walks in a room, guys (even really, really dumb guys) get this wave of Sherlock Holmesian deduction skills. Our minds fully dedicate to calibrating and assessing this new woman at hand.

1. Eyes: Princess Jasmine doe eyes? Icy blues? Mystic green? Blah brown?

4. Boobs: Cave man basics - Big? Small? Firm? Floppy? Also is she making them her visual calling card or keeping them tucked away?

6. Thighs to Butt Ratio: Sporty? Thin? Thick as a brick? Basically, is she hiding or hollerin' this area?

8. Hair: Sweet make-out, roll around the grass, hair? Sleek, Club, pull-back, hair? Morning monster hair? Oily-ick locks?

10. Overall Vibe and Body Language: Is she a Pushy Patty or Mellow Mary? A Sexy Sandy? Insecure Isabelle? Do I click with this human? Yes, we have concluded she is hot as hell, but she's also wearing a giant Gucci necklace and Prada jacket  -- Abort Mission, Funny Guy, not your type! Repeat, Abort!

Read the rest of Funny Guy's lady look list at the link above. But WTF, Funny Guy? Brains don't make the list at all?? Is this a joke or are you just being brutally honest with us? Either way...sighhhhhhhhh. 

There is only one way to ask your girl for nude pics. See below. And don't say I never did anything for you, men of the world:

"O fair and beauteous maiden. Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Much like it, thou art also smoking hot and go well with iced cream. Thine eyes dance like the moonlight on a rippling stream. Thy skin is like fine gossamer, and thy derrière simply refuses to quit-eth! Would that I might capture thy naked beauty and carry it around with me every day. But, oh, such a thing is an impossibility in our time. 

Although... perhaps thou would deign to allow me to photograph thy naked form with mine magic camera digitalé? Or perhaps with the amazing soul-capturing device encased within mine iPhone? Of course, I would never allow the image of thy glorious bosom, creamy white thighs, and exposed lady chasm to leave mine person. The portraits would never fall into the vile clutches of, say, a pervy Geek Squad employee because I forgot to delete them from the hard drive of mine laptop. And I would never show them to mine roommate, the Duke of Doucheington, in a braggadocios manner whilst chiming, 'Look at what I've been hitting, Broseph Gordon-Levitt.' No, I shall guard them as if they were mine own man cannon."

Fine maidens, I entreat thee to read the rest of Cheek Geek's fair ode at the link yonder. This lady doth not protest -- if a strapping lad burst forth with such a speech, my underthings would come loose and mine flash would shine like the undying sun.

Grow a pair. Right now. Well, metaphorically speaking at least. Which is more important -- him or your self-respect? I know, I know, it is him -- you have no self-respect. At all. Full stop. It packed its bags and headed for Alaska about the third time you took him back, listened to his lies and convinced yourself that this time will be different.

Well, get this into your head, right now, using a hammer if necessary: He don't love you! He uses you. Walk. Now. And don't look back. Or continue to play his games, be his handy, reliable little slave, until he inevitably dumps you for good. It's your call -- you are an adult, at least legally, if not emotionally.

I feel your pain, my dear. These GuySpeak fellows are my kryptonite - I keep coming back for more week after week. I hope you'll join me. And I hope you all have very merry holidays. Thanks for playing, guys and girls!