You just got dumped, and you're devastated. You never saw it coming. Or maybe you did the dumping, and now you feel like a monster for breaking someone's heart. The tears won't stop. You feel worthless. The whole world is in a tailspin, and you can't even imagine how to move on. All you want to do is get in bed, curl up into a ball, and never come out.
Heartbreak sucks. We've all been there. Sure, you have to grieve, cry, wallow, at least for a day or two, but you can't stay in bed forever. That's why your buddy the Wise-Ass is here to yank the covers off you (OMG sorry, didn't know you were naked under there!). So get up, get dressed, wipe those rabid raccoon eyes, and let me show you how the shake off a little bit of those Mean Reds.
I'm not talking about long-term solutions here; this isn't about the weeks and months ahead. This is about today. This is about feeling better right now. We'll deal with tomorrow tomorrow.
Get out of town
Take a trip somewhere, anywhere. Car, plane, bus--just go. New surroundings have a way of changing your perspective and clearing your head. Some call it a retreat. I call it getting the heck out of Dodge because Dodge bums you out right now. Go. Disappear for a few days. But on second though, skip the bus--it's depressing.
Get a massage
Indulge and de-stress yourself with a full-body massage. Let someone pamper you. It's okay if you cry--a massage therapist friend tells me people cry on her table all the time. It's a release, just like the release of those toxins from your muscles.
Get a workout
Yeah, yeah, I know--exercise is the last thing you want to do right now. Do it anyway. Sweat off those blues. Run and swim and kick-box away that anger. I don't have to tell you about endorphins--you know the deal.
Help someone else
Helping others is the best way to get your mind off your own troubles for a few hours. Soup kitchen, women's shelter, pet adoption at the local Petco--spend a day doing something nice for others and watch your mood improve.
Laugh
Laughter isn't the best medicine--Xanax is. But laughter is definitely in the top five. Think of things that make you laugh, and seek them out: a funny friend, a movie you love, a book, people trying to ice skate but busting their butts instead. Go find your funny place and get laughing.
Notice what this list does not include: drinking yourself stupid, contacting your ex, jumping into a stranger's bed, eating 14 pies. Those will only make you feel worse. Also, some people will tell you to write down all your feelings in a journal or letter, which is a great idea, but not now. That's for later. You need some time and space before you dive back into that muck.
Now get up and get going. And believe me when I tell you that this too shall pass. I know you can't see it right now, but you will be all right. You will survive this.
Great, great, great advice. These things really do make you feel better, even when you think you'll never feel better again.
THANK YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just had my heartbroken into BILLIONS of pieces a few days ago and I felt as if I couldn't breathe for 2 whole days. You're right, getting out there and keeping busy is the best thing for me to do. I can't wait till this pain is fully gone. All I want to do is m o v e O N!
Awesome answer, Cary. Actually, I think these are all good ways to help someone feel better, not just for when they are going through a break-up, but anytime something has got them feeling down and depressed. Good words to live by.
all good! except for the ice skaters, they may be falling on their tushies but 9 out of 10 times they have a sickeningly adorable skating partner.
What about eating only 7 pies? Just kidding. I run..., it takes me away & gives me a bang'n body to boot. I feel great after I run. Cary.., once again you're right on point with great advice. You rock dude!
The first piece of advice -- get out of Dodge -- absolutely works the best. I cannot emphasise that enough. When you get back (if you even do that -- moving to the other side of the city, country or world works equally well), your heart isn't feeling like a bag of broken glass and you can deal. Usually you'll find numbnuts has been on your doorstep every day, phoning, leaving messages (of course, you do NOT take your phone with you), bugging your roommates/friends, all sorry and blah-di-blah, and guess what? You could give a flying fuq. All that grief for nothing.
Won't help you the next time it happens, but at least you know what to do... Pack your bag and get out of Dodge... repeat as often as is needed to stop falling in love with jerks and develop some perspective on your/our/my chronically abysmal choices.
Plan B. Get a dog. I'm still in love with my dog after 13 years and who knows how many a-holes I've burned through/been burned by. I've long forgotten them, but dog-love is forever.
Oh, the brilliant timing you posses. I just came here ready to ask a question about how best to deal with an unfortunate breakup. I think I loved him. I was just too late in realizing it. I think I still love him... Crap.
good stuff!