Most, if not nearly all, cultures frown on sex before marriage as much as they do adultery - at least for women. (Yeah, I know, the old double standard at play again.) By the time you are about 5 years old, you have a basic and fixed understanding of your culture -- that is your culture in the home, not necessarily the one your family lives in. All well and good. 

Until puberty hits with its tidal wave of hormones that demand you start using these newly functional parts of your body, like, right now. And your family culture says no, while the general culture around you says go for it.  It causes a lot of guilt and unnecessary pain for a lot of people since "You can take the boy out of the Bible Belt, but you can't take the Bible Belt out of the boy."

But, you know what? It's your life. Not your parents', not TV's, not the neighbor's, not the cute guy in class who is trying to get into your pants. Your life. Your choices. You decide which culture you wish to live in. Some people stick with the cultural expectations they learned pre-school. Many rebel and go as far in the opposite direction of their familial culture as they can. Some try to adapt to the culture they actually live in. The smart ones pick the best of both, creating a new, hopefully slightly saner, culture for when they have a family of their own.

If you wish to wait - well you are not alone, as many readers here will confirm. If you wish to take some time and go slow - do so. Your body, your right to decide how much, how far and when. Good luck.

Let's sort this out - is it that you don't want to have sex and then feel horribly guilty after? Or are you crazy about sex, enjoy the ravenous moment and then feel the guilt creeping in with the morning light? There's a big difference. If you're not into the sex thing right now, then don't be having it. Easy! If you ARE into sexytimes, and are making those sexytimes as safe as possible, you've got to find a way to empower yourself to let your guilt go of the guilt and be proud of yourself for taking part in one of the most vital and astounding life experiences. After awhile, if you're gentle and kind with yourself, you'll feel just fine about your decision, whatever it is. Sometimes life is so much simpler when we listen to our instincts and what we truly think is best for ourselves instead of tuning into the blare from the rest of the world.

As a rule, straight men are attracted to women, period, because they're women, and each guy has his own tastes. It's not that complicated, really: if you're his type, he's going to be attracted to you regardless of skin color. The racial politics, on the other hand, can be a drag for anybody.

Interracial relationships are complicated, both because as a society we're still dealing with racism, but really more for the fact that depending on who you're friends with, people are going to be weird about it. I've been in an interracial relationship or two, and honestly, no matter what race you are, you have no idea how your friends will react until you reveal your relationship. Some people won't care, and some will care far, far more than they should. I've lost a few friends (and not all of them white people, either) who said some staggeringly racist things to my face.

So, that's a strong factor, for both parties. That said, if you think he's interested, it can't hurt to ask him out. Worst thing that happens is he says no. Worry about what he thinks, not what others think.

I think Dan nailed it. I'll only add that there's a fascinating - if highly criticized - article about interracial dating in last week's Wall Street Journal, basically encouraging black women to marry white men. Quite controversial, but might be interesting reading for you. 

Sounds like you're getting a bad deal here. If the PlayStation 3 was a gift, then why did you pay for half of it and half of the games? And why was it in your apartment? Sounds like the PS3 belongs to both of you. All of a sudden he wants it now that you're broken up? Why didn't he claim it before? Your ex-boyfriend's argument doesn't hold up in geek court, and it wouldn't in actual court either. 

If he wants it, he should pay you for half of the system and the games. Pulling the whole "it was a gift" act if it, in fact, wasn't a gift is a jerk move. And threatening to take you to court over a PS3 is ridiculous. There's no way any his argument would hold up in court. Also, unless it's the People's Court, no lawyer would take a case over just a PlayStation.  Not even Saul Goodman, the shady lawyer from Breaking Bad would take your ex on as a client. He's just trying to scare you. Don't let him intimidate you. 

Splitting up possessions after a break-up is always difficult. Often, all the resentment and anger built up gets taken out in the form of possessions. ("I'm getting the house/cat/Hummel figurine collection!") It's why divorce attorneys make the big bucks. That said, you do have rights. If it did become a legal issue (which, by the way, would end up costing you both way more than the cost of the PlayStation), you have as much claim to the PlayStation as he does. Tell him you won't back down-- it wasn't a gift, and if he wants it (and the games), he needs to pay you for half of everything. You put the money in as well. If you still want the PlayStation, don't back down.  Offer to pay him for his half if you want to keep it. It's just as much yours as it is his. Plus, then you have a PlayStation 3 and games to enjoy with your next, hopefully non-jerky boyfriend.

You know what would have solved all your problems? A dating prenup. Seriously. Check out my article about just that. 

Or, as Billy Crystal says in When Harry Met Sally, "Do me a favor, for your own good, put your name in your books right now before they get mixed up and you won't know whose is whose. 'Cause someday, believe it or not, you'll go 15 rounds over who's gonna get this coffee table. This stupid, wagon wheel, Roy Rogers, garage sale COFFEE TABLE." 

I think he's hilarious. And completely full of it.

Unless he's tossing 100s up on stage all night, there's no way in hell he spent that much money at a strip joint without getting something extra on the side. Drinks are expensive, but not that expensive. Cover charges are comparable to any other club. Some strip clubs have food but nobody eats that stuff unless they are insane or completely wasted. All that together doesn't come anywhere near "thousands of dollars." But VIP rooms do, especially if the stripper is skilled at stringing a guy along and getting him to re-up the room every half hour in hopes that he might get lucky, which he won't. Cha-CHING!

I don't know if your issue is the money or what might be going on in the VIP rooms or both, so I will just answer the question you asked: I don't think he is telling you the truth about how he spent those thousands of dollars. I could be wrong, of course. But I'm not.

Why can't he just look at free online porn like the rest of the world? This makes no sense - emotionally, financially, sexually. He's either hiding those lap dances from you or hiding something much worse. (Guess which way we're voting?) Rip the wool from your eyes and put a stop to this - or a stop to your marriage. 

Arianna Huffington and her Huffington Post was all a-buzz this week exposing the growing phenomenon of Sugar Babies and Sugar Daddies. In short, young women (and some men) paying off their steep college tuitions and student loans through the selling of their time/bodies to older men. This match made in hell or at least online is done so courtesy of a web site called SeekingArrangement.com. A URL dedicated to hooking up the financially strapped with money-forking fogies. 

Is any of this new? This is American Capitalism, isn't it? Supply Side Tittynomics? The Penis Trickle Down effect. Basic Supply and Demand Booty Economics, no?

Now, I don't mean to make light of this issue or lessen its gravity. Those who seek higher education should only be rewarded with knowledge and good opportunities not insurmountable debt and no practical means of paying it off. But is there zero room for personal choices and restraint in this whole thing? For example, I could have helped my parents pay off my one full year at University Massachusetts, Amherst by blowing my professors and posing nude for the Science and Research Department. But I said no. I had my principals. Besides, I was way too stoned and unattractive for such offers to be realized.

One man's willingness to work at a Footlocker, is another man's willingness to work the door at Chip & Dales, is another woman's willingness to work the stage at The Pink Pony, is another woman's willingness to be a sugar-baby for some old chip named Dale who pays $5000 a pop to have his feet rubbed while she reads to him from Moby Dick. Maybe a job is a job is a job. Maybe it doesn't speak to lose morals or a "Man, what the hell happened in your childhood?" thing. Maybe it's just a, "Now I'm 28, debt free and ready to travel for 2 years before I launch my start-up." What do you think? 

Why didn't I know this was an option when I was in college?

My question for you is: how are you exactly finishing last if these guys are just going for easy girls? They're not calling them back. They're not marrying the easy girls they met at the bar (usually). Assuming that access to quick, easy, no strings attached sex is your barometer, then sure, you're a loser like no other. But in terms of real life, you aren't losing at all.

It would seem that guys meet you and think you're a good catch. And when these guys are ready to settle down it's you they're looking for, not some one night jumpoff they handled back in Collegetown, USA. Could it also be the types of guys you're looking for? You want the guys who are popular and are bagging all the women? Is that what it is? So you want that guy are are upset he's passing you over out of respect?

Not to be all dbaggy with this, but I think your priorities might be a little off. Or you're just viewing it from the wrong ange. Guys want what you have. And I'm sure at some point you'll have more than enough suitors. Young guys who only want to score aren't going to pay you any mind...and that's actually a good thing.

As Charlie Sheen would say, you are #WINNING! Keep on being your authentic self. Don't stoop to the easy girl level if it's not you. Instead, go ahead and "finish last." You know who's going to be waiting for you at that finish line? A great, nice, awesome, quality dude. You may have to be a bit more patient, but I promise you it'll be worth the wait.