A relationship is ideally an equal partnership. You are invested in making this one work, he, to be blunt, is not. From the other details you provided, he probably never will be in the way you want.

I am going to go out on a limb here and say you, due to your current circumstances, are hunting more for reassurance and a feeling of safety and belonging. You want to be cherished before you have to leave, and, instead of turning to the one person you can truly rely on - yourself -  you look for it from an outside source. That is not a good thing for you or for your partner. Not fair on either of you now, is it?

Now, as to what you do - well. You have six weeks left before you leave. You can split with him now, or you can simply enjoy your remaining time together without getting stressed about it and split when you leave with, no hard feelings and no regrets. You are, from what I have seen of you, a tough, smart and compassionate lady. Apply a little of that compassion to yourself.

As Mystery Man points out, you're the only person who can truly make yourself happy. Not 100% of the time, but you can certainly find ways to improve your own batting average of happiness. I say anyone on your team who's making you unhappy 75% of the time should get cut from your roster. It's spring - time to recruit some new talent.

Allow me to rant about texting for a second. As much as I appreciate the convenience, that sort of crap would never have flown in the pre-LOL era. Imagine if this guy was calling you all the time and saying that stuff into your voicemail. You would probably call the cops. Particularly if he was saying he hopes you perish in a horrible manner. But with texting, he can hide behind the casualness of it and write things he would probably never actually say. If you call him on it, he'll probably say he's kidding. But it's not okay. Why do you still have feelings for a guy who hopes you get hit by a bus? He's working out his break-up issues via text. Don't play into his game. 

I think the answer is clear: Block his number. If he starts texting you from another number, report him. There are many ways to block a number. (As the iPhone ad says, there's an app for that.) Call your cell provider and ask for the best method. 

You don't need to deal with this at all. A few days after the break-up you shouldn't have had to deal with it, let alone a month later. At this point, he's just harassing you. Let him know you're done. He's taking the fact that you haven't told him off already as a sign that you might get back together. If you're truly done, put a stop to this permanently. Tell him to stop contacting you and then block him like it's hot.

First of all, kudos for staying strong and not responding to this emotional abuser. While our rational selves may know that a guy's horrible for us, sometimes it takes our emotional selves longer to get onboard. It's not always easy for those outside the relationship to understand, but I get why you still "have feelings." Your task now is to let your rational self run the ship. Tell your emotional self it's OK to feel sad, but that you're the adult, you're in charge, and you two are never talking to this jerk again because he'll only hurt you. Have you explicitly told the guy to stop contacting you? Have you left the door cracked open at all for him? Like Chic Geek says, it's important to stop, block and slam this relationship closed.

The crux of this issue is that you're subscribing to some nutty ideas. You needn't conform, twist and shave parts of your You-ness because your man wants you to behave a certain way. That is a basic principal of healthy relationships. You don't mold yourself to fit their ideal, you offer yourself and see if they can deal.

 

If you're a "humour /fun/ sexy/ mysterious" person, then that's who you should be within the relationship. Hanging up or storing away major aspects of your personality while in a relationship is bad news. It's what many would call "living a lie" but what I'll just call "a whole lot of bullshit with nuts." Often this changing or shifting of our personalities within a relationship happens slowly; a gradual decay in which you stifle parts of your personality because you're fixated on wanting to be who your partner wants you to be. There's nothing sadder than a naturally lewd woman realizing she hasn't made a good queef joke for the better part of a year.

You're now in the state of realizing you've shed more of you than feels right. That's a good start. It's time to refuel on OY (Original You) and see if Mr. Boyfriend can swallow it. If not, there are plenty of "humour /fun/ sexy/ mysterious" persons out there.

Did you morph into this sweet "bla" because you were afraid of losing the boyfriend? If so, man up, lady! Be brave and fly your freak flag! Spend more time with friends who make you feel like you - bring them around your guy if they help coax out your authentic self. If he doesn't like the you who tapdances to the "Facts of Life" theme song while wearing a corset - that's his loss. He's gotta take the good, take the bad, take them both and then he'll have...the real you.  

I see no issue at all with online dating. Whereas we used to think that only socially inept men and women, and people with kinky sexual deviant habits and perversions were the ones trolling online dating sites...it turns out that all kinds of normal people frequent them as well. Don't get it twisted, the crazies are still in full effect, except now they're sharing space with people who just decided to give online dating a whirl.

I know several individuals who have found their husbands and wives online. And not just the folks in the TV ads - real people. I've also known some UBER attractive women who had no such luck finding a man on or offline. So basically, online dating is like NYC right now. 

Everybody visits once or twice and the full view of the population is present and accounted for.

While I can understand both the stigma and hesitation, it's 2011, everybody's online anyway. It was only natural for everybody to join the online dating world. Some people are just looking to sift thru the normal BS of going out and starting out superficial entirely. Some folks just think its easier. Who knows, but it's here to stay and everybody's doing it. Have at it.

Online dating is awesome! Sure, there are losers online, but there are plenty of losers IRL, too. If you want to check out the dating.com world without forking over a bunch of cash, I just read that Chemistry.com is offering a free three-day trial starting April 18, to coincide with tax day. Instead of Uncle Sam, maybe you'll meet Mr. Right! 

Nope, totally untrue. He could be dominant or passive.

I'm assuming you mean it in the sense that he takes control in bed, not the "whips and chains" sense, but this applies regardless: what a person is like in other aspects of a relationship almost never tells you anything about what they're like in the sack. Sensitive guys may want total control, aggressive guys may want to sit back and let you do the humping. How we're wired sexually has almost nothing to do with how we treat others emotionally; just look at the many happy relationships in the BDSM community.

Now, "dominant" is not the same thing as "selfish". Even a guy who needs to be in control is going to listen to what you have to say, and cater to your needs, if he's any sort of decent human being. He's just also going to be up front about what he needs. And that's OK: if he cares about you, he's not going to do anything you don't want. If he doesn't, be dominant yourself: dump his ass.

A new sex partner is like a slab of meat. You never know if it's going to be tough or tender until you take that first bite.  (p.s. If you prefer him one way or the other, speak up! Guys - especially thoughtful guys - sometimes need a bit of permission from you to show other sides of themselves in bed.)

I think it is risky, but you already know this or you wouldn't have asked the question. How big a risk it is depends on a couple of things that you didn't mention.

The most important issue in my mind is how long you've been dating the guy and how well you feel like you know him. If you two have been together a while--a year at the very least--then you probably have a pretty good idea of what he's about, and moving with him is a calculated risk. If you've only been with guy a few months or less, then I think you're taking a big chance to go to a new city with him. You just don't know the guy well enough, and the odds are greater that he might dump you out of the blue or do something to make you want to dump him. Then you're stuck in a strange city and you've just lost the one and only friend you had there: him. Oh, and the city is his turf, so you'll feel likely even more out of place after you break up.

That leads me to my next question: how independent are you? If you move for this guy and you two break up, will you be lost and lonely in a new place with no friends or family? Or will you welcome the challenge of making your own way in a new city, finding your niche, making new friends and taking Chicago by the balls?

No one wants to think about breaking up with their mate, but if you move for him, you have to consider the worst-case scenario, which is you alone in a big strange city. Love requires taking risks and trying new things, and people follow girlfriends and boyfriends all the time. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't. The key is to be sure you know him--and yourself--well enough to make it an educated risk, not just a whim. Otherwise, I wouldn't do it.

How far away are your family and friends from Chicago? Will you have a job there? Do you two already live together? Have you experienced a Chicago winter when it's negative 30, the wind's howling so hard you can't open your front door, the snow is blowing up your nose and you've been waiting 40 minutes, two stories above ground, OUTSIDE for an El train that's never coming? If you can answer all those questions without cringing, go forth unto the Second City.

That's all for this week, thanks for playing, guys and girls!