I have actually. She's the mother of my daughter. We met during our freshman year of college. hung with the same people, minus a few years of folks off finding themselves, and were really close for a good long while. We were always really good friends and then some 10 years later, we started dating. And fell in love. 

It can happen. You just never know how it might happen. Unfortunately in our case, we're not together anymore but we have a lovely daughter that is the light of both of our lives. And we're working on the friend thing again - as hard as that may be. 

So yep. You know, I've always wavered on that "dating friends so as to not ruin the friendship thing" and it can definitely present a very real issue if things go bad. But while things are good, you're dating somebody that knows you and already cares about you as a person. It's the best of both worlds. You just have to make sure it happens with the right person is all.

Gal Pal says: 

Pass the Kleenex, please. Somebody get this man a Hallmark Channel movie deal. I'm being totally serious - we all just swooned, Panama.

Honestly, yes, once or twice I have faked the finish.

There are some times when a guy quite simply can't finish, yet of course he is expected to. It is a no harm, no foul thing, as long as it doesn't happen too often. Do you feel guilty when you fake it?

Hmmm...women...feeling guilty...about sex??? Noooooo. Of course many of us have guilt mixed up with our sexytime feelings! Culture/religion/family often nails that into us from a very young age. But if we thought, on top of everything else, that the guys we we're having sex with are faking their big O's? Oh, the guilt would be too much to bear. We'd much, much rather you told us the truth about when it's happening...and when it's definitely not happening. This is the kind of thing we all need to talk about, so we can make a change. A change we can all believe in.

You're right, your relationship is going to change somewhat. It's inevitable when people couple up. But that doesn't mean you'll lose him, just that you'll have to work with him to hang out, that's all.

Remember that you're not alone: a lot of guys have wives and best friends who don't necessarily get along. But assuming she's not an utter troll or jealous control freak, she should be OK with him hanging out alone with his best friend. Just stay in touch on the phone and online, and work out times to hang: more of this will have to come from you, but he'll want to hang.

If she IS a jealous control freak, well, that's something he needs to handle. Either way, good luck!

My advice is to find a way to befriend his fiancé - even if it's on a very surface letter. Trust me, she can tell you can't stand her. And that certainly isn't going to help you get quality time with her husband-to-be. Kill her with kindness. Give her no reason to feel jealous. And be prepared to hang out with other pals for a little while during the wedding-planning phase. If you keep the channels open with your best friend and remain understanding about his new situation, then he'll be lucky to call you his best friend. 

Because they let jerks walk all over them. There's nothing that jerky guys love more than to find a nice girl, reel her in, break her heart into a million pieces, and then throw those pieces into the nearest reservoir or aqueduct. Time and time again I have seen nice women flock to total a$$hats. Then, when said DoucheTron-5000 inevitably dumps her, she comes running to me, I mean, to some nice guy for a shoulder to cry on. When will you realize the nice guy right in front of you? I'm just a man, standing in front of Alison Brie, asking her to lift the restraining order. 

Ahem. Like I was saying, you finish last because you assume you're going to fail. Except, you've already won. Look around you: the douchebags have lost. Sure, they might make more noise with their Ed Hardy shirts and their Bluetooths and their cutting in line in front of you at Starbucks. But it's the nerds, geeks, and nice people who are in charge. For the love of Odin, we have a president right now who likes Spider-Man comics and Star Trek. Fortune 500 companies are run by guys with bad combovers and Magic the Gathering card collections. The war is over and the turbo jackholes will soon be serving us frosty Ecto-Cooler in collectible Star Wars cups. 

That said, every time someone falls prey to the old "nice guys/girls finish last" cliche, our progress is set back. The only thing douches have on us is cockiness. A certain level of cockiness is healthy. You can be confident and think you are awesome without being a tool and stepping over people. Guys always fall for women who are a little bit cocky and self-satisfied. Women are the same. No woman wants to date an arrogant jerk, but at the same time they don't want a wimpy doormat they can walk all over. The trick is to realize that you are awesome and have a lot to offer without coming off as arrogant, mean, or self-involved. 

So own your nice. There has to be something about you that makes you stand apart from everyone else. Maybe you're funny, or a good dresser, or know how to whip up a mean red velvet cupcake. Stop dating jerks who tear down your confidence. That would be step one. Don't be a hypocrite and rule out guys because they're too "nice." Surround yourself with genuine, confident, supportive people who will reflect awesomeness back to you like the Care Bears "stare." (Geez, for a bunch of cuddly bears the Care Bears certainly have a destructive combined power. Kinda makes you feel bad for Dark Heart.) As Jerry Orbach said in Dirty Dancing, do not let anyone put Baby in the corner. You are Baby in this scenario. No more corners. Front of the line! We need you in the Army of Nice. Now get out there and own your nice. 

Oh, this is one of my favorite answers ever. Nerds rule - douches drool! I think the most important take-away is for you not to be a hypocrite or a doormat. If someone is treating badly, do you stick around for more? Do you allow yourself to be treated shabbily because you're so "nice" and "understanding." Knock it off! Go be with you kind - the good, nice, honest, genuine kind of loving people of the world.  

I know you women are savvy, but don't fall into the trap of thinking you've got us all figured out. You could be wrong about a few things. For example:

Not always. Sometimes we think about football or food. If a guy falls off a building, I doubt he's thinking about sex on the way down...unless he's thinking about how he'll never have sex again.

They aren't involuntary. We were thinking about sex.

Sorry, what? No, you're right, we don't listen when you try to tell us important things when we're half-asleep or playing XBox or watching a game. Want our attention? Tell us right before sex. 

Some do, but some don't. Me, I'm well aware that my wife, my sisters and most of my female friends are smarter and hipper than I am. And I'm okay with that.

You're welcome.

Wrong. We're as insecure as you about our weight, our hair, our bodies. We just don't admit it.

Everybody needs affection, male or female. That's one of the reasons we like women so much: you're there to give us a hug and kind words when we need it. And we need it. Of course, the fact that affection often leads to sex doesn't hurt, either.

Gal Pal says:

Read the rest of Wise-Ass' enlightening list at the link above. I secretly love it when men offer solutions even when one isn't needed/wanted. It's their way of saying, "That sucks - how can I help? Hey, I know! Let me help! I've got it! I'll say something right now so you don't freak out more! Yep, that's totally what you should do! Just do it and stop crying! Please?? Please, just stop the tears!" In its own weird way, it shows they care.

Nothing says I want you like masturbating to girl-on-girl porn. That sentence doesn't make much sense and neither do his actions.  It's common for men to look at porn, sure, but not 14 seconds before inserting their penis into you. Your hurt-radar is activated because it's hurtful. Why not suggest he duct tape the laptop to your face while you two are having sex?

He needs to redevelop his sexual relationship with you. He needs to find a healthier place for his lust -- in other things and people.And you need stop accepting this as part of your sex life. You can no longer agree to sit on the bench while he gets aroused by cyber players.

Sure, there can be room in a relationship to jointly "use" pornography to spark up the bedroom dramatics, but can you imagine if both of you needed to charge your sexual appetites with porn before mounting each other. It's not practical. It's comical and tragic.

You are the real thing. You possess enough sexuality to turn on another human. Start accepting that and expecting that. If he can't comply, give him the (re)boot.

OMG, Amit, I am laughing out loudly at the duct tape line. Maybe she should duct tape this guys face - and tell him she needs to imagine someone else there to get in the mood. Actually, I feel sorry for this guy. This has obviously crossed the line into addiction and it sounds like he needs help. If he's not willing to change, it sounds like she needs to find a new boyfriend. Unless she's considering a career in adult entertainment herself...

That's it for this week. Thanks for playing, guys and girls!