Getting engaged is hard work. You not only need to create a strong, long lasting relationship, but you need to create it with someone that isn't afraid of commitment and shares most of your core values.
Even if everything lines up just right, the weeks or months leading up to a proposal are stressful times. If you think your boyfriend (or girlfriend) is about to propose, you are on high alert for any signs of irregularity. You wake up each morning thinking that today might be the day, and that kind of speculation is wearying work.
Thankfully, your friendly neighborhood Mystery Man is here to help by giving you signs to look for during this tumultuous time in your life. Last week, I shared five signs that your boyfriend is about to propose. This week, I'm doing the exact opposite. I wanted to talk through five signs that your boyfriend is not going to propose. At least, not any time soon. I know it sounds grim, but I don't want all of you fantastic people to put yourself through mental torture over something that isn't going to happen.
So, if you've been dating someone for years and years and are wondering if they are ever going to pop the question, look for these signs below. If you are forlornly nodding your head as you read along, you might want to wait before picking out your dream wedding dress.
Five Signs That Your Boyfriend Is Not Going To Propose
He Keeps Talking About How Good The Status Quo Is - If your boyfriend fears change, he's not going to be in any rush to change. He may say things like "I love what we have right now" or "I don't want anything to be different" or "Things are perfect just the way they are." All of that sounds lovely. But if you've been asking him about whether or not he would ever propose and he responds with one of those lines, you should be a bit concerned. Obviously, if you like the status quo just as much as he does, then just live your life and be happy. But if you want to get married, and he keeps carrying on about how you shouldn't fix things that aren't broken, you have a right to be upset.
He Has Had An Engagement Fall Through In The Past - Once bitten, twice shy. If a guy has gotten engaged before and it didn't work out, there's a good chance he's not going to want to jump back into an engagement again. When an engagement ends in something other than a marriage, it usually leaves scars. Those scars sometimes manifest as a fear of commitment, or at the very least an apprehension to buy another ring. This isn't a hard and fast rule, but it is something to look out for.
You Both Have Always Fought About Money - Weddings are expensive. Honeymoons are expensive. Homes are expensive. And engagement rings are expensive. If you and your boyfriend have very different views of money, to the point where you are constantly fighting over it, then he may not be willing to make the massive financial commitment that an engagement represents. As terrible as it sounds, money problems can often overwhelm love. It happens more than you might think.
His Family Doesn't Like You Or Your Family Doesn't Like Him - When you marry someone, you also marry into his or her family. You don't have to love your in-laws, but hating them... or having them hate you... can absolutely ruin your life. Some people may not be willing to sign up for a lifetime of torment. If your boyfriend and your family have constantly been at odds, or if his family actively dislikes you, then there are going to be people rooting against the engagement. And that can have a powerful impact on your marriage prospects.
He Doesn't Believe In Marriage - If your boyfriend has recently uttered the phrase "I don't believe in marriage," he probably doesn't want to get married. Don't think that you can somehow talk him into believing in it. You might be able to, but don't bet on it. If you're dating a non-believer, do not expect to get married to him.
This isn't the happiest topic, to be sure. But not every relationship ends in a storybook wedding. And we all need to recognize the signs that we're not on the path we want to be on.