This week has been all about sharing the things we love about women. While I also love how you support us when we're down, improve our fashion sense, and keep the shower smelling of fresh summer strawberries, there is one thing that I particularly love women for doing: teaching me how to be a good man. From my mother--who single-handedly raised my sister and me--to my sixth grade drama teacher who encouraged my interest in the arts, women have taught me pretty much everything I need to know about this crazy world we live in. And I'll always love them for that.
Here are five of the many, many things that women have taught me.
Chivalry (and gentlemanly behavior) isn't dead. It's just taking a nap, and needs to be stirred occasionally. While I'm no fan of gender stereotypes, my mother drilled the importance of being a gentleman into my impressionable young mind. Hold doors for her (and others). Offer her your coat when she's cold. Say "bless you" when she sneezes. Pay on the first date. Yes, some of this comes down to basic courtesy. And while some say that chivalry went out with knights and dragons, I've found that most women appreciate the occasional chivalrous gesture. (What? There were totally dragons in medieval times. At least according to my Dungeons & Dragons manual, which I have to thank for teaching me everything I know about history.)
A woman decides whether she is going to sleep with a guy within the first two minutes of meeting him. This one is more specific, and something I picked up from female friends. Sure, women are also capricious and reserve the right to break this rule at any time. But I find it to be generally true. In the same vein, if a woman talks to you at length about her sex life, you've probably been permanently annexed to the "friend zone."
The world is filled with a wide variety of douchebags, doucenozzles, doucherockets and every other variation of "douche." Having female friends who are in the dating scene is like watching a 24/7 news channel that airs nothing but updates about jerks, asshats, and good old-fashioned toolknobs. The many conversations I've had over the years with female pals about their dating lives has provided me a laundry list of what not to do in relationships, as well as countless hours of free entertainment.
Even awkward white guys can dance. You might laugh, but this an essential skill (up there with learning to tie a windsor knot) that many men lack. (If nothing else, you don't want to have two left feet on your wedding day.) In my case, it helps that my mom was a professional Broadway dancer. (I'm not going to tell you what show she danced in, but let's just say it featured a magical feline by the name of Mr. Mistoffelees.) Thankfully, countless girlfriends and female friends have taught me how to avoid looking like every other awkward white dude on the dance floor. So if I need to slow dance with my lady at a friend's wedding, or compete in a dance-off to save my local community rec center, I'm all good.
Always treat women with respect. Sure, this one seems like a no-brainer. But you'd be surprised by how many guys fail to follow this golden rule. My mother taught me to treat women with respect, whether in a relationship or in my day-to-day life. In addition, smart, funny female friends have opened my eyes to the many, many ways in which women are marginalized and objectified in our society. As such, I try not to make sexist jokes or comments, or make assumptions based on gender. I'm not perfect, and I've certainly messed up and hurt the women in my life on occasion, but I always at least try to follow my mom's teachings.
So to all the women in my life, I say thanks. I couldn't have asked for better teachers. You guys put even Yoda to shame.
Here are five of the many, many things that women have taught me.
Chivalry (and gentlemanly behavior) isn't dead. It's just taking a nap, and needs to be stirred occasionally. While I'm no fan of gender stereotypes, my mother drilled the importance of being a gentleman into my impressionable young mind. Hold doors for her (and others). Offer her your coat when she's cold. Say "bless you" when she sneezes. Pay on the first date. Yes, some of this comes down to basic courtesy. And while some say that chivalry went out with knights and dragons, I've found that most women appreciate the occasional chivalrous gesture. (What? There were totally dragons in medieval times. At least according to my Dungeons & Dragons manual, which I have to thank for teaching me everything I know about history.)
A woman decides whether she is going to sleep with a guy within the first two minutes of meeting him. This one is more specific, and something I picked up from female friends. Sure, women are also capricious and reserve the right to break this rule at any time. But I find it to be generally true. In the same vein, if a woman talks to you at length about her sex life, you've probably been permanently annexed to the "friend zone."
The world is filled with a wide variety of douchebags, doucenozzles, doucherockets and every other variation of "douche." Having female friends who are in the dating scene is like watching a 24/7 news channel that airs nothing but updates about jerks, asshats, and good old-fashioned toolknobs. The many conversations I've had over the years with female pals about their dating lives has provided me a laundry list of what not to do in relationships, as well as countless hours of free entertainment.
Even awkward white guys can dance. You might laugh, but this an essential skill (up there with learning to tie a windsor knot) that many men lack. (If nothing else, you don't want to have two left feet on your wedding day.) In my case, it helps that my mom was a professional Broadway dancer. (I'm not going to tell you what show she danced in, but let's just say it featured a magical feline by the name of Mr. Mistoffelees.) Thankfully, countless girlfriends and female friends have taught me how to avoid looking like every other awkward white dude on the dance floor. So if I need to slow dance with my lady at a friend's wedding, or compete in a dance-off to save my local community rec center, I'm all good.
Always treat women with respect. Sure, this one seems like a no-brainer. But you'd be surprised by how many guys fail to follow this golden rule. My mother taught me to treat women with respect, whether in a relationship or in my day-to-day life. In addition, smart, funny female friends have opened my eyes to the many, many ways in which women are marginalized and objectified in our society. As such, I try not to make sexist jokes or comments, or make assumptions based on gender. I'm not perfect, and I've certainly messed up and hurt the women in my life on occasion, but I always at least try to follow my mom's teachings.
So to all the women in my life, I say thanks. I couldn't have asked for better teachers. You guys put even Yoda to shame.
Thanks. More guys need to understand how the soul-grinding gauntlet of sexism women face every day isn't just OUR problem.
I love how I go to a site called Guyspeak for female empowerment.
Yeah, this is a little cheesy, but it's also really sweet. Nick you need to write a book for men to be handed out at birth on how to treat a lady. The world would be a better place.
I have to agree with Nick, on most of his accounts. But women aren't always in the receiving end of the crap stick. I've known pleny of women in my time, who have taken advantage of guys. Whether it be cheating on them, treating them like "dogs on a leash" (this would be partly in fault with the guy for letting it be done to him in the first place), or a classic case of me, me, me, you, me, me, me. When it comes to relationships between men and women, it's a TWO WAY relationship. It's about compromise, and respecting each other for it. Some women especially the younger ones, tend to have that "I am woman, hear me roar" attitude, but yet, still expects the man to pay for everything and take care of her. That's such a double standard.
By the way, when it comes "one night stands", yes most women already know whether they want to or not within the first 5 min. But there are also women who, given the opportunity, will jump your bones after they really get to know you. I've met women who wasn't interested in me but we became friends, after hanging out more often and getting to know me, I grew on them, and one night...
Basically, women can be just as bad as men, if not worse. Guys don't hold grudges. ;-) Remember the old saying, "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned".
I completely agree with you Eric. Sexism and relationships are a two-way street. I do have to disagree about guys not holding grudges though...
I also agree with you about getting to know a person and then being attracted to them. I've met plenty of boys who I were convinced I was only going to be friends with them, they grew on me as friends and I became highly attracted to them. The Friend Zone isn't as inescapable as people think.
OMG! Power Girl is just too cool. Yeah, the boob window is a bit hilarious, but honestly, get over her costume and think about who's supposed to be reading comics. It's obvious, that they're written for young adult males. Some people outside that select group may read them, of course, but they aren't being marketed to.
Complaining about PG's cleavage window is forgetting the fact that besides Supergirl and Wonder Woman she's one of the very few heroines DC has. Also, she owns her own damn company. Her character is that of a successful business woman that shoots laser from her eyes. Freaking empowering right there.
Agreed. Power Girl is awesome. DC's new series is great.
The blogger's issue is more with that particular JSA story, which was badly written and basically lecturing the reader by making Power Girl say, "If you have a problem with my costume, get over it!" Which is not what anyone wants in a Power Girl comic.
nick, the world needs more men like you! thanks for proving there's at least one on the planet =)
Things I've learned from guys (a summary, dedicated to my dad an big bro):
1. Men are definitely capable of deep moving thought- even if they don't always say it.
2. Sports are fun to watch and play, and the only way to get better is to act as if you are already good. If you have confidence in your ability (or lack thereof), the rest will come after.
3. How to change a tire, manage my money and pretty much all life skills
4. How to take initiative. Be it if there is something I really want or just a project that needs to get done.
Good God, man! You've given me hope that there are guys as quirky as me that may want to get to know me and who know how to be courteous to others. I can't stand guys who are cookie-cutter a-holes. I'd take a totally awesome geek anyday. :)