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Group Dating: Strength in Numbers or Recipe for Cannibalism?

My friend told me about a new dating site she joined last week. It's called Grouper and is built around trio dating. Sort of clever, sort of problematic. I find myself impressed with its simplicity and spirit, but worried that in practice it won't hold much water. More so, I'm curious what you guys at Guyspeak Nation think about it all. The basic idea is you and two of your girlfriends sign up seeking a triple date with three random dudes. Based on geography and I assume a few other factors Grouper sets you up with a trio as well as a venue. There's also something about pre-buying the first round of drinks online, which is designed to protect against either group being stood up, particularly by those wouldn't even fathom loosing out on a pre-paid gin and tonic, even if they're suffering from violent diarrhea that night.

But here's the real charm (or harm) of the Grouper model: Jill, Joan and Jen are meeting Tom, Ted and Tim blindly. That means that any "clicking", any match-up can occur which technically sounds lovely and bountiful, but makes me wonder if it's not a recipe for gruesome jockeying and instantaneous hierarchical mayhem. Again, in a perfect Grouper world, Jill is a squat dental hygienist wild for Ted, a third year dental student who just so happens to worship thick chicks. The workout rats Tom and Jen haven't stopped talking about their respective supplement routines since they shook hands and have already been spotted spotting each other with leg lifts in the back room. And as if in their very own world: Joan and Tom have been listening to each other's music on their iPads since the appetizers came and already bought tickets to an upcoming steam punk festival.

Now let's delete all that and start over... In the real world I'm guessing Tim, Tom and Ted spot Joan from fifteen feet away and all get all horny in the heart and crotch from her standout beauty and general mojo. Ted starts sweating profusely because he knows Tom is hotter than him and will get the queen of the night, but deals with it by knowing that at least he doesn't reek like cigarettes (see Tim) and can out shine him during most conversations.

On the other side, Joan and the girls have honed in on Tom's rugged beauty which sends Jen and Jill racing to find their respective matches, they know they can't compete with Joan when it comes to first impressions even though she acts so faux insecure and keeps ducking into the bathroom to check her make-up. But Jill is a clever one and already starts planning out her strategy -- she knows that Joan can get incredibly loud and annoying a few cocktails in and given enough time her stock will diminish. I should also mention that Jen and Jill want the best for each other, but god help them if there isn't a silent but steady competitiveness that's trialed there relationship since grad school. Neither of them is above a little mud tossing, if needed.

Now of course this might be an exaggerated and overly cruel crew. But I'm just not so sure there is strength or success in numbers when it comes to dating. I mean, yes, wingmen can be great support and help lubricate situations, but the trio on trio dates makes for some chaos. Tricky business I say, but for the right person and trio maybe a winning combination. So, hell, call me old fashioned. A tradtionalist. Maybe I can't see beyond how dating used to be when I was in the game: A mono e missy mission, where I'd make my way into a crowded bar armed with nothing but a clunky cell phone, a tube of Mentos and enough Xanax in my pocket to tranquilize a good sized dog.


But how about you guys? Are you liking the three on three concept? Have any of you done it? Am I overly simplifying or highlighting the worst of possibilities?

Follow me, Amit "Funny Guy" Wehle on Twitter @AmitWehle

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3 Comments

imjustagirl

I'll stick to speed dating. The odds are way better & you get their undivided attention for a set time. Where else can you date 12 guys in one night for only 25 bucks?

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Speed dating is a lot of fun but the last two times I went it was the same group of guys.

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Holy crap, the second scenario above is SOOOO much more likely to happen than scenario one, that it makes me think whoever dreamed up this stupid idea is really angling to create a heinous new dating reality show. UGH! Can you say TRAIN WRECK???

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