Wanting to feel needed is not the same thing as being needy. A needy person is like a human Sham-Wow. They cannot soak up enough praise and require constant spillage.

Being independent doesn't mean you don't need help here and there. A healthy relationship is one where two independent people just make a deal that they will help make the other person the best version of themselves. So don't be afraid to ask of him what you need. If that means space, then tell him you need space. If that means he use his gorilla muscles to liberate ketchup from the bottle, then ask him for a good hearty shake.

Gal Pal says:
All my independent women - here's a little tip to show your manfriend he's super special to you without giving up your feminist street cred. Think of something your guy's excellent at - his top life skill. Maybe it's fixing a car, maybe it's fixing spaghetti, maybe it's fixing to kiss you silly. Whatever that magic power is that he possesses - that's the thing you need from him. Create the demand and watch him supply! You're not being needy, just being greedy with his lovin'. Enjoy!

I've been seeing a guy for about a month and a half, and it's been great in every way but one: sex. It's not terrible, but frankly, I've had better. I keep trying, but it's not improving - how do I know if it's just not going to happen? What do I do?

Wise-Ass says:

 
I think it's a little too soon to panic. A month and a half isn't very long, and it can take a while to learn what a new partner wants in bed and get in sync with each other. Some people are also slow starters sexually, and tend to hold back a little until they're fully comfortable with the relationship.

You are not wrong to be concerned; it's definitely a red flag. He could very well turn out to be a lousy lover. But if he's great in every other way but sex, you should give him some time to get better. Maybe you have a lot more experience than he does. You also don't say how much sex you've had in that month and a half. If you've only gotten horizontal 4-5 times--and I'm not asking, so don't tell me, I don't wanna know - then you've barely started.

Great lovers aren't born, they're made. And they're made by learning a little more from each lover. It's called experience. I say give this guy a bit more time and a bit more instruction, and see what happens. If nothing changes after a few weeks, then yeah, you have a problem. Right now, I think it's too soon to call.

Gal Pal says:
Yeah, except sometimes great lovers are born. (Or at least already made when you meet them). And once you've encountered one of the anointed ones, no other lovers can compare. I do agree with Cary that you should give the dude more than one chance - first night sex and even second night sex can be positively dismal as you simply don't know each other's magic buttons quite yet. Three times is the charm. After that, if you're communicating what you want in bed and he's still not floating your boat (and this is obviously a concern to you as you're writing to the guys), I say it's time to move the sex show down the road.

I found out that my husband has been poking holes in our condoms and now I'm pregnant. I told him that I never wanted kids when we started dating and he never had a problem with it. I'm devastated. Why would he do this to me? What should I do? (Abortion is not an option.)

Chic Geek says:

Wow. That is unbelievably wrong. And also grounds for divorce. A good divorce lawyer could sue him for all he's worth so you'd have money to support the child that you aren't ready for and don't even want. I'm not going to get into the abortion issue. Obviously that's your choice, and at least it's a choice you actually have. I cannot imagine any marriage would survive such a terrible breach of trust.

Why did he do this? Because he's a terrible person. Clearly he wants a child, and doesn't care what you think. My guess is that he knew you wouldn't want to have an abortion and used that to his advantage. Why didn't he leave you and find someone who wants to have children? Or, better yet, not marry you in the first place? Why wasn't he honest with you about wanting children? Did he actually think this was going to work? Did he think you wouldn't find out?

Honestly, this guy makes me sick. Bringing a child into the world is a decision that should be made by two loving, consenting adults. I feel for you, and I feel for that poor child who's going to be born into an unhappy home built on lies. This is the stuff of bad soap operas. I am sorry to hear that there are people out there who actually do this sort of thing.

Gal Pal says:
I'm speechless. And that takes a lot. I struggle to believe this actually happened in real life and not a telenovela. But if it did, I think you should follow three steps: 1) Leave him. Go find a friend or family member to take care of you during your pregnancy. 2) Give up the baby. If abortion isn't an option for you and you never wanted children, you will do the child a favor by giving him to a family who wants him with all their hearts. 3) Find a therapist to help you deal with your grief and move on with your life. Have faith that no one will ever do this to you again. Good luck to you.

Mystery Man also tackled this question, with a very different take:

Mystery Man says:

If you were so dead set against having children, why the hell did you rely on him to do the contraception? Condoms mess up at the best of times, either splitting or coming off if you are the slightest bit too vigorous - and it seems always at the peak of a woman's fertility. The pill or an IUD would have been a better bet. But enough of the should haves, what's done is done.

Did you talk about having children again after you got married? Did he suggest that maybe a child might be a nice addition to the family, or even hint at it? Men do get broody too, despite the reputation we seem to have of detesting children as unmitigated nuisances.
As abortion is no option, and I do admire you for that, you have two realistic choices. Give up the kid, which will mean giving up your husband, or do like millions of people have had to do and make the best of it. I am quite sure you are capable of making his life hell without quite driving him away. You don't want to be left alone and holding the baby, so play it cool.
Luckily, we live in a time when gender role reversal is not uncommon. After all - he wanted the child that badly - he can put his life on hold and do the Mom stuff. You get on with your life and career.

Gal Pal says:
Oh, Mystery Man. Why do you always have to blame the victim? If this woman trusted her partner to wear condoms and he consciously broke that trust, it's certainly not her fault. The one thing I think we can all agree on is that this man is a terrible, rotten person to whom karma will definitely catch up to one day. And it ain't gonna be pretty.

WHY THE HELL AM I STILL SINGLE??? Have i just not met the right guy? Am I too picky? Now that I've declined the guys I'm not interested in, have I ran out of options? There's no one left!!!

Girl's BFF says:

 
You ask an intriguing question. Why the hell are you still single? Deep. Such profound study has intrigued men for eons. So let's examine. Have you just not met the right person? Who knows. Greater men have been stumped by this question. Is it possible that you haven't met the right person? By jove, of course it is. But then one must get into the semantic and boisterous debate on the merits of "right". Does "right" mean perfect in every way that you want or does it mean "man who loves you but chain smokes potpourri". Me no know.

Are you too picky? I don't know. Are you? You've given me nothing to go on here. Could it be that the men you encounter are being picky? Hmmm? Hmmm? Think about it.

Have you seen I Am Legend? Of course you have. WILL SMITH IS IN IT! *chaching*

Yeah, okay. So THERE? That's where there was no one left. For goodness sake he talked to mannequins. He even FLIRTED with mannequins. Do you know how desperate you have to be for human interaction to cavort and scheme on a mannequin? Exactly. You don't have that problem. Heck, I'm talking to you. Pony up chick.

I don't know why you're still single. But asking me isn't going to change that. Unless of course you send a picture and you're smoking hot in which case, let's turn that frown upside down.

Capiche?
Capiche.
Mmkay.

Gal Pal says:
I somehow missed I Am Legend, but I do know that once in awhile a girl just needs to throw up her hands and have a good, lonely sob fest. So cry it out on our shoulders, sweetie. Then pick yourself up, dust yourself off and go join a dating site.

That's it for this week. Thanks for playing, guys and girls!