Here it goes: I'm opening the floodgates of my psyche, and inviting you inside. Put on a butcher's frock, it could get messy. I'm going to unveil a secret about myself. Something only my closest friends and family know about me. There are more than a few women who have seen me naked and swinging upside down from a trapeze who don't know what I'm about to write here.
This is epic. Your golden ticket to my innermost mental sanctum. What I'm about to tell you is formerly classified information. Big news. The very heart of darkness.
Before I divulge this secret, I'd like to remind everyone reading that I am all man. 100% USDA Brosteak. I'm so manly, I sweat beer. Once, I was attacked by a grizzly bear, and that's where this hat comes from. Women faint with pleasure when I wink at them. When my dog died, I cried gravel. My nicknames: The Beast Master, Gilgamesh Lavanads, and Champ. I can cut down a tree just by farting in its general direction. Crom is my dark God. My man cave is made entirely out of flat-screen teevees.
As you can see, I am truly a hairy, brawny, mighty, mighty macho man dude.
I'm also a fan of Fox's show Glee, which is about high-school students singing their freakish little hearts out. I've also been known to enjoy a Broadway show or two.
What are you looking at, dickbutter? Fiddler on the Roof is a hell of a movie, and it has some great music in it. I mean, Sound of Music is about a horny nun, right? Right. Les Miserables was the soundtrack of my first bout of "heavy petting." Her hands went places I had prayed they would go days prior, all to the bellowing strains of Jean Valjean, that tortured Parisian strongman. My folks loved show tunes, so I grew up with them. I still grew up on a steady diet of AC/DC, Guns 'N Roses, and N.W.A. I turned out fine.
Effing sue me if I have a soft spot for Sondheim's original Sweeny Todd (the live performance with the "Murder, She Wrote" lady and not Tim Burton's twee goth dirge.) I mean, it is SO hard to believe a man can have seen Phantom of the Opera and GWAR the same amount of times? (Twice.)
And Glee is great. Sure, it's a show about awkward teenagers breaking into popular songs. But it's also a show about the triumph of individuality over conformity. And, occasionally, the musical Wicked. Which is actually kind of good. The cast is hilarious -- from popular girl Quinn, to well-meaning doofus Puck and Artie in his wheelchair. Then there's Sue Sylvester, the cruel cheerleader coach who is both hilarious and sinister. See, Mr. Schuester starts a glee club at McKinley High, and nobody has faith in... nevermind. Rachel sings really well.
This is my dirty secret. Glee makes me fist pump whenever the little scamps fight for their rights... with song. I have Spring Awakening on my iPod, too. What? You want a slice of my rage cake? Bish, I do push-ups over hot coals. My DVR is full of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, UFC and MSNBC's excellent show Lock Up, which is a laugh-a-minute documentary series about the American penitentiary system. My nightstand is full of books, as well as "graphic novels." It doesn't hurt that the woman I am currently dating loves the show, too.
We watch it together. And then we do it monkey-style.
I'm just an average dude who happens to rock out, on occasion, with jazz hands. Mock me at your peril.
PS. I also love karaoke. Jesus Christ Superstar is my jam.
Do you like Rent? The original live show, not the movie, which was only like a tenth as good..
We're all so proud of you right now, J.D. You've done a courageous thing.
You're not alone. I haven't seen Glee, but I love The Sound Of Music, Phantom Of The Opera, Les Mis and more. Oh, and Led Zeppelin and AC/DC.
Thanks for being my copilot on this, Cary.
...and wearing a cumberbund.
oh god, les mis is the best musical ever. i got to see the broadway revival a few years ago and it was such a cathartic experience. it's a pretty manly musical, though, if you think about it. jean valjean and javert are kind of badass.
also, glee is so cute. mr. schue is precious.
Contrary to what you may have thought, this only makes you sexier.
I'm a theatre nerd from way back, so this confession does nothing but put you solidly in the "Cool Cat-agory" of my book!
I haven't been able to get hooked on Glee yet because the lip sinquing irks me. I'll give it another go.
How is monkey style different from human style? Or are you a Creationist?
It's ok to like Glee. Not only is it musical but it can be sexual, hilarious, and rather manly in some bits.
Hell any man that likes Glee and isn't gay, just makes them all the sexier, as Meiggs said.
Bev, yes, they're lip syncing, but they really did sing the songs. For casting calls they wanted people who could do the triple threat. They only lip sync because if they didn't, the audio wouldn't sound as good. So it's not that bad to sit through.
Thanks, Monny! Good to know. I'll definitely check it out next time I'm flipping channels. It looks like a very cute show!
I have cleared many a karaoke room doing "Heaven on their Minds" from JC Superstar (that's what we theater nerds call it) with my friend. And on occasion I do every part of "Blood Money," which drives my girlfriend crazy.
She also hates when I do every part of "Master of the House" from Le Miz. Why do the innkeeper and his wife have cockney accents? That doesn't make any sense at all.
They have cockney accents because it's effin hilarious.
"I'm opening the floodgates of my psyche, and inviting you inside."
Hehe, isn't it what the Internet is all about anyway?
Musicals makes me a happy puppy. They usually have catchy tunes with easy to remember lyrics. Putting a musical CD in the car in the morning is the best way to get me in a good mood (while keeping me awake enough to reach work in one piece).
I love to sing even though I can't (off key, no sense of rythm). But that won't keep me from putting all my energy into it, driving a couple people around me at the time insane, probably.
I'll keep an eye open so I won't miss "Glee" once it crosses the Atlantic.
And I agree with Meiggs and Monny, this doesn't make you any less macho manly. I believe there are a lot of closeted show tunes fan men. At least, you are man enough to admit it!
It already has. If you're in the UK, it's been on e4 and Channel 4. It's the only series to my knowledge that we don't have to wait 6 months for, FOR NO REASON and was shown in the same week as it aired in the U.S. It's amazin, you should definitely check it out.
Did you ever see the FRIENDS episode where Monica outs Chandler for liking Annie... And he continues to sing the songs all espisode...KUDOS! (Yes I'm a FRIENDS freak so sue me!)
Almost as good as the episode where Joey reads "Little Women" and R tells him the ending!
Glee is easily one of the best things that happened to Fox in a while - You are not wrong for loving it and all other musicals - because musicals ROCK!.
Glee is fantastic, no question. It reminds me of my awkward high school days and how hard it was just being yourself in a sea full of same. No shame in liking it.
Oh, John, how I loved you before this post, and now I love you even more. I'm a total sucker for Sondheim, Rodgers and Hammerstein, and Lerner and Lowe. What do you think of My Fair Lady?
P.S. I agree that a straight guy who loves musicals is sexy.
"I bust the windows outcha car"....now you know.
that. was. so. SEXY.
As a junior higher, and high schooler, I was in a choir and ensemble, and there is DEFINITELY something to be said about the skill and dedication that gets put into that type of stuff... I've not gotten addicted to Glee simply because I can't afford the time. lol
But I'll definitely Netflix it. :)
A buddy and I always talk about doing the lashing scene (a capella, in street clothes) from JCS as a performance piece at an open mic night.
"What? You want a slice of my rage cake? Bish, I do push-ups over hot coals."
I can't stop laughing at this.
LOVED this blog, and Glee! :)
In my opinion your love of Glee cranks up your badassitude. Rockin' blog. Best secret ever. Your non-show tune song preferences are also very cool. Gotta love AC/DC.
Now, see? This just makes you even more totally darling and adorable.
I totally respect your manliness.
P.S. Not a Valley Girl. Sorry for the total overuse of "totally." It's late and I'm just totally tired.
And here i thought you couldnt get any sexier...you have proved me wrong! I sadly admit that I haven't seen glee yet...but now I know it must be worth watching!
Do you have a younger brother?
Do you have a younger brother?
I'm a total GLeek and LOVE that you are! "When my dog died, I cried gravel" love it.
When they sang Journey at the end of the first episode, that was it, I was hooked. I'm Irish and for some reason I don't understand, there's always a delay between when series are shown in the US and when we get em. It just means most of us watch series online, but Glee, once the Road to Regionals started was shown here in the same week as you guys saw it. One Irish channel even had it the next day! It's shown on Wednesdays here and totally got me over the hump, I'm lost without it. Great piece. Is Friday Blogday?
Pfft, that's just awesome! I'm actually going to see Phantom of the Opera on Sunday (my second time seeing it). The US tour is disbanding this fall. =(
The first half of the first season -before they went on hiatus- was FANTASTIC. I must admit though, that the second half just didn't do it for me. It was terrible.
It's been said before, but I'll say it again: This post made you way more of a man in my eyes, and a sexy one that will hold me while I watch Glee. I have such a man myself, and it's amazing. He just took me to see South Pacific the other night and yet his favorite things to watch consist of UFC, NFL football, and Man vs. Wild. I don't get why guys have this whole complex about musicals being feminine. I mean, hello, Gene Kelly anybody? Guys who sing and dance are hot. I'm glad you see things clearly, John, but tell your friends to get with it.