So long as pet names develop organically men are usually cool with them. It's when the pet names are dropped too soon or come across as painfully forced that it becomes annoying or uncomfortable. In fact, most guys would prefer an organic petname like "Smungle Bips" to "Sweety" IF the "Smungle Bips" was gained through honest means. For example, maybe your man was accosted by a drunk hobo-magician named Smungle Bips, and the name became a special thing for you guys; a name that is rooted in a shared and silly experience. 

 

An honest Smungle is far better than being called "Boo" after half a lunch date."Slow down, Anna. How can I be your boo? We haven't even ordered drinks yet."

Of course, the other side to this whole topic is the pet name is public. Most men don't want to be called boo, Poppsy or Smungle Bips when surrounded by friends or colleagues. Pet names are like... saliva; meant to be exchanged and shared with discretion, not spit out any old time.

Follow these 2 rules: earning the name, and using it with discretion, and your shmuggly wuggly will be as happy slappy as a pookee bear-bear in la la land. Ok, Kitten? 

A guy friend was just telling me that his new lady called him "honey" the other day. He cringed in horror. It bothered him so much that it made him realize he wasn't really into her - or at least not into being her "honey." So proceed with caution. Like Amit says, pet names are much better acquired through shared experiences than forced sweetness. In fact, you're safer choosing a nickname that gently teases a guy. Men understand playful trash talk. They have a harder time with baby talk. Now if he starts the "sweetie pie" routine first, by all means, go get 'em, tiger pants!

Why do you look at clothes at the store when you've got clothes in your closet? Why do you walk by a bakery and look at a cake when you have all the ingredients at home to make your own?

Of all the concepts that women "claim" not to understand about men, visual appreciation is one of the most easily understood. And women who don't understand are ridiculously ridiculous. Let's assume for a moment - only assuming because I have no idea who you are, this could go either way really - that you have luscious lips and a lovely derriere. Why WOULDN'T he look?

There's also a very good chance he'd love to do nasty, freaky, dirty things to you but he has a girlfriend so let's assume he isn't. He's just window shopping. It's the American way. It's the way of the caveman. People look at stuff. Hell, it's disrespectful NOT to look at and appreciate a fine rump and nice lips on a woman. You all love validation anyway, let that man be a man and give you the attention you only don't want because you're getting it. Sheesh.

This must be a guy that you want and are upset because he won't leave his girl or something so you're feeling like if he won't step to you then there's no reason for him to pay attention to you. Hogwash.

Is he staring in a way that makes you uncomfortable? Then be a big girl and ask him to stop or avoid contact with him. If you like the attention but don't understand his motivation, take it as a compliment and nothing more. Drop it into your "snap cup" (thank you, "Legally Blonde") and go about your business without giving him a response. 

So let me get this straight. You got a wonderful chance to advance yourself, your career and your life, and he is upset that he won't get laid for 5 months? The talking thing is total and utter balls - he never heard of skype, phones, texts and letters?

Guy is being a total jerk. Tell him to man up and get over himself already. You really had to ask about this?

Get on the plane, my dear. See the world. See what you're missing out on. If your boyfriend can't get onboard with you growing as a person, you've got to get onboard without him. (p.s. Is the man not capable of getting on a plane himself if he's so lonesome for you?)

Look, I'm aware that in some places, a vague statement actually has meaning. When somebody from Los Angeles says it takes about twenty minutes to get somewhere, it really takes an hour. In Boston if you go into Dunkin' Donuts and ask for a large regular you'll get an iced coffee full of sugar and cream. Sadly, guys don't work that way.

A better question is why it even matters in the first place. If he's got a clean bill of health, and he's dating you, who cares if it's 7, 70, or 700? He's with you now, and that's what matters.

Have you asked him to narrow down his "take down" range? If his answer is important to you, yet you don't feel comfortable enough to ask him to clarify, then you probably shouldn't be sleeping with him. I agree with Dan that the actual number doesn't always matter. But it clearly matters to you. So don't be afraid to ask for what you need - or what you need to know. Speak up. Ask how many. Ask if he's been tested. Ask when he was last tested. Get the facts and make yourself comfortable. Then go to town, girlfriend.

You must date a lot of sensitive emo dudes. Just kidding. If he wants to cuddle after sex, and he's not your boyfriend or husband, it means he either has feelings for you or thinks it's what you want. Maybe he doesn't want to seem like a jerk by hopping right out of bed like he has to catch a bus. Or if he has feelings for you, he's trying to prolong the afterglow. When they feel it, men cuddle for the same reasons that women do. Otherwise, they're doing it out of obligation and/or so as not to seem like they're only interested in sex. 

By all means, if you don't want to cuddle, let the guy know. Get up, get dressed. Suggest a good place for brunch, or a movie to watch. Or just get the f-- out of there and get on with your day. He'll get the idea from your actions. If neither of you are feeling it, there's no reason to force the cuddling. And if you don't see him as more than a hook-up, it's best not to lead him on. Just like women, guys can sometimes read into stuff like cuddling. (Particularly the sensitive emo types.)

Cuddling after sex: Yay or nay? 

If you don't want the extra slice of cuddling, could I have it?

I am sorry to hear that you are having trouble. To be perfectly honest, my take is "I don't know," because I've never been in that situation. I can tell you my observations and uninformed opinion, however, then we can put the question to our readers for their thoughts and experiences.

A separation has always struck me as little more than a speed bump on the road to divorce. People say they want to separate to "work things out," but how can you work things out when you aren't together? I tend to think that most separations end in divorce, and the few available statistics support that notion, putting the rate of separated couples who divorce anywhere from 67% to 85% (1,2). The few reconciliations that do occur after separation typically happen when both partners agree to the break in the first place, which is not the case with you.

On the other hand, divorce is not something one should rush into, and I can see some sense and value in taking a break from each other before calling it quits forever. As I said earlier, I just don't know that answer. My gut says that separation isn't a good idea, but I have no real reasoning to back that up.

Guyspeak readers: who here has experience with separation? If so, would you mind sharing your thoughts with us? Thanks in advance.

You're in a tough spot as it's difficult to have a trial separation if your husband isn't interested. Could you start with a solo vacation to get the space you need to gather your own thoughts? Perhaps if it's not an official separation your husband may see it differently. 

That said, if he's set on divorce, it seems that a separation can't help things. Of course a professional therapist may be even more helpful than a separation or vacation - have you tried that route? We all wish you the best and hope you'll keep us updated.

And we wish the rest of you a very happy weekend. Thanks for playing, guys and girls!