Designer boxers briefs are a nice gift. Underwear as a gift should be chosen like any other piece of clothing -- get him something you think he will look good in. Only instead of "this sweater will look nice on you" you're saying "these will look hot and make me want to yank them off you." It's the same thinking that goes into him picking out some lingerie for you. 

That said, remember comfort. Boxers aren't a piece of lingerie that he'll only wear during sexytime. Ostensibly he's going to be wearing these boxers when he's alone with you and also when he's at work in a long meeting. So opt for the most comfortable fabric. Also keep in mind his style. If they're too tight, and he normally wears loose-fitting underwear, he's probably not going to wear them all that much. Guys appreciate when you consider their comfort as well as their style.

I love the urgency of this question: "I really just need to know!" But it's true, picking out gifts for our man-friends is stressful business, indeed. Giving your boyfriend nice undies along with an, ahem, "bigger" gift sounds playful, thoughtful and adorable. You win Christmas!

Sure, it's okay to be sad and disappointed. That doesn't mean he made the wrong decision, though. Blood is thicker than water. Family comes first. I would have made the same choice. It's not about dissing you; it's about being where he is supposed to be over the holidays.

Is there no way he can do both? A lot of people will see their family all day on Christmas but hang with friends on Christmas Eve or Christmas night or other days before or after Christmas Day. Will you be too far apart for this to happen?

If you're wondering if his decision is a sign that he is not into you, it's not. You were nice to invite him, but people want to be with their own families on Christmas. I never went to my (now-) wife's house over the holidays until we were engaged, and even then I didn't come until a day or two after Christmas. My family always came first until we got married, then her family became my family and vice versa, and then we got the super-fun task of trying to figure out how to please everyone without spending 80% of our holidays in the mutherfracking car. Once you have kids, it becomes even MORE fun. Wheee!

Be disappointed if you want, but don't hold it against him or read more into it.

Let yourself be sad for one day, tops, about this. Then pick yourself up, dust yourself off an plan a fun date for him for December 26 (or whenever you two will be together again.) Cary's right - Christmas is for cozy time with your family. New Year's Eve? That's another story...

Well, she might debate the lucky part. Know I do regularly! We are both what is euphemistically referred to as "strong personalities" which invariably means arrogant, aggressive and assholish.

I used to love being the only singleton at a party though. The hunting is always fun - wrote a full answer on how to grab your target - and watching the dynamics of drunk couples is always hysterical.

Sure, it ain't handling things with class - but you didn't expect that of me. Right?

Don't be self-conscious about being the only single lady at a party - enjoy being the star of the show! Come with fun stories to tell...about your work, your travels, your dating life. And ask your friends questions about their lives and listen encouragingly to their answers - that's the secret to being the most interesting person at any party. Trust me, most couples are dying for a new friend to mix up their conversation - and remind them that you're open to dating...you never know who at the party might set you up with a great date for next time!

Well it depends on the loss. So let's look at two of the prominent: death and end of a relationship.

How do we deal with loss in terms of a death? Probably via not talking about it as much as possible despite everybody around you (including other men who wouldn't talk about it) trying to talk to you about it constantly. I personally dealt with the most signficant loss of my life earlier this year and when I tell you I just internalized it all as much as I could. It hurt and it was painful but despite being a writer, I couldn't figure out how to articulate my feelings and thoughts. I was just hurt. Hurt for my family. Hurt for all the affected families. I cried a lot when I was alone. A lot. The loss didn't make sense and didn't seem right or fair.

For men, time heals all wounds of that sort. I'm much better now but I honestly haven't gotten over it. And quite frankly, I'm not sure when, or if, I ever will.

Now in terms of loss of a relationship, to quote author Steven Dixon, "men don't heal, we ho." What does this mean? It means that we never really truly deal with the loss of our relationships or loved ones. We just try to keep it moving through physical connections and end up hurting more people in the process because we never deal with our own feelings and emotions. I'm also guilty of this. I know that I've needed to take time to really assess my roles in the demise of a relationship but was ill prepared to really truly deal with feelings that come along with that maturity. A man who has grown up will learn that in order for a relationship to truly end, he must handle his own demons as well as acknowledge the roles he played in tearing something down. That's hard for us to do. Which sucks because I know personally I probably owe some apologies. Not that I want the relationships back, but the least I could do was address why I helped destroy some homes.

So the short answer is that...for most of us, we don't.

Thanks for an open and honest answer, Panama. It may be hard for some of us to hear, as women may deal with loss quite differently. But I believe that for either gender, loss and grief are ultimately journeys we have to make all by ourselves. Friends can only cheer us on from the sidelines...and be there to embrace us when we reach the far shore.

Pretty much the only thing you can do is say "Is there something I can do for you?" in the sexiest way possible.

There are generally three reasons for what medical professionals call "nerf schlong": his penis is out of proportion to his blood supply, he has something medically at issue with his cardiovascular system, or he's trying to force arousal and needs something, but is unwilling to ask you.

The first two out of three of these problems are really up to a doctor, who in the former will prescribe Viagra and in the latter will tell him to get a gym membership. The third one is usually a matter of a request being seemingly too kinky for a guy to bring up, so he tries to force the issue instead of being honest.

This is not to imply he'll be hauling out a gimp suit; when I've heard about this, almost inevitably it's about a person who doesn't know much about sex and thinks asking for, say, doggy style is indescribably weird and wrong.

But, in a non-sexual context, have an honest conversation with him. Don't frame it as underperforming in the bed; frame it as you're worried you're not doing something for him that he'd like, or that you're concerned about his health. Don't force it, let him tell you. Once you figure it out, it'll be smooth, er, hard sailing.

Sometimes "in that moment" isn't the best time to have those conversations. Dan has wisely suggested that you ask what you can do to help him out. But you might also bring it up outside the bedroom when you're both relaxed and in good moods. Just ask him what you can do to really turn him on later...signal to him that you're into him and want to make him feel great. And yes, if things still aren't working out, he may need to check with his physician.

It would be naïve of me to say different parts of the country, nay, a state or single town don't come equipped with their own flavor and unique way of life. In fact, because of this fact, some of us leave our homes specifically seeking new flavors. Others consciously stay home because the flavor they were raised on tastes so right. You seem to be missing the home cooking of your men. Perhaps you've moved to the northeast for work opportunities and feel like a fish out of Nebraska on the dating scene in shark territory. I can understand that. It takes time to acclimate to the flow of dating in different parts of the country.

I will say, however, that the northeast is a pretty big swath of land. Where and how exactly are you meeting this army of anal uptights? I mean, sh*t, as long as we're stereotyping, aside from geography, careers seem to produce/attract types as well. Let me ask you this: Who would you say would more likely be anal and uptight? A Brooklyn based yoga instructor or the CEO of Ameriprise Financial Inc. located in sweet Minnesota? A Plattsburgh, NY based veterinarian or, I don't know, a club promoter at Wet Club in Chicago?

You see it takes more than a zip code to determine a man's YIKENESS. It takes an understanding of what they are to determine who they are. My suggestion is keep an open mind. Expand the venues where you're meeting men. I have a feeling this rash of North East anal duds, these YIKESters, are all floating in the same bar scene or career pool. If all else fails set your online dating zip for Midwest USA and commiserate over the inherent ills of The Northeast together!

As a Midwestern girl, I admit to being initially shocked by the gruffness of many east coast men (and the flakiness of many a west coast man). But those are just gross generalities. You know where I find cool guys from coast-to-coast and everywhere in between? In groups and clubs that are doing the things I like to do - comedy shows, writing groups, etc., etc. And if you're so hung up on Midwestern guys, why not find an alum group from your state or college? We Midwesterners are lurking everywhere. Good luck and keep your heart open! (And here's a little song to give you some comfort: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dl9hS8CcGVU )

That's it for this week, thanks for playing, guys and girls!