Time for a moan this week.
Something that comes up with surprising frequency, certainly in my inbox, is men's rights. Where do I stand, what do I think, etc. Now I don't usually answer questions from guys, simply because that is not my job, and the answer is nearly always "Go get laid." Yet with Scott Adams getting a huge outpouring of moral outrage recently (no link, the guy was simply being a dick and deserves no additional traffic, check Chic Geek for details if you wish), I figured it was about time to dig into this whole stupid idea a bit.
First stop, Mensactivism. Do not click the link if you at all triggerable and, if you'll excuse my language a second, Holy motherf*cking God! I have never seen such a hive of small minded, terrified, pettily vindictive jerks in my life - and I frequent 4chan, Free Republic and have lived in France (Mes amis, que c'était juste une blague!). To give you one example, complete with its certainly unprovocative headline.
"Nova Scotia: Hitmen an option for battered women to use: - "Battered women have won an important legal victory after Nova Scotia's highest court concluded a woman "living in a state of terror" was understandably driven to try to arrange for her abusive husband's murder."
News articles pulled from all around the globe and strawmanned into some vast feminist conspiracy against all men everywhere. What on Earth has them so scared and defensive?
It all really started getting nasty with Fathers for Justice. A group of guys who initially simply wanted to be able to see their kids. The courts usually grant custody to the mother, even if the father is in a much better position to raise the children, and visiting rights can turn into pitched battles. Fair? Not really. Worth starting a campaign over? Yes. Worth declaring war on reason? Most definitely not, but that seems to be what happened when the more extremist people inevitably took over.
Yet, in a small way, I can understand some of their rage, if not their fear.
I dislike the way men are portrayed in the media.
I understand, but still get actively annoyed when out walking in the evening and a woman sees me and crosses to the other sidewalk - just in case. Hey lady, I am just walkin' here!
I get furious in the supermarket when I see a scared child and do not dare help, in case it is assumed I am leading the kid away.
I get totally incandescent when my kids cannot go to the local playgroup and make friends, simply because it would be their Dad taking them. (Yes, I have been told directly that my five minute presence dropping them off and picking them up would be considered upsetting.)
All relatively small complaints, I guess, in the scheme of things. Having, so I am told, white, cis-male, heteronormative privilege still does not make using me as an excuse to hurt my daughters something that I will tolerate. Equality and respect should work both ways.
Our rights are supposedly defined for us. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness is the usual quote. To paraphrase a wise man** "A drowning man has no right to life. A prisoner has no right to liberty. The right to the pursuit of happiness is not the right to over-ride others rights."
Really, the only concrete rights we have are laid down in the Miranda Rights.
The right to remain silent, or speak up and be held accountable.
The right to equal and equitable treatment for all.
There is something truly messed up in the world when the only time you get treated as all should be treated all the time is when you get arrested.
** Robert Heinlien - Starship Troopers. The film was dire, but the book is rather good in a prosy way. Check it out.
Something that comes up with surprising frequency, certainly in my inbox, is men's rights. Where do I stand, what do I think, etc. Now I don't usually answer questions from guys, simply because that is not my job, and the answer is nearly always "Go get laid." Yet with Scott Adams getting a huge outpouring of moral outrage recently (no link, the guy was simply being a dick and deserves no additional traffic, check Chic Geek for details if you wish), I figured it was about time to dig into this whole stupid idea a bit.
First stop, Mensactivism. Do not click the link if you at all triggerable and, if you'll excuse my language a second, Holy motherf*cking God! I have never seen such a hive of small minded, terrified, pettily vindictive jerks in my life - and I frequent 4chan, Free Republic and have lived in France (Mes amis, que c'était juste une blague!). To give you one example, complete with its certainly unprovocative headline.
"Nova Scotia: Hitmen an option for battered women to use: - "Battered women have won an important legal victory after Nova Scotia's highest court concluded a woman "living in a state of terror" was understandably driven to try to arrange for her abusive husband's murder."
News articles pulled from all around the globe and strawmanned into some vast feminist conspiracy against all men everywhere. What on Earth has them so scared and defensive?
It all really started getting nasty with Fathers for Justice. A group of guys who initially simply wanted to be able to see their kids. The courts usually grant custody to the mother, even if the father is in a much better position to raise the children, and visiting rights can turn into pitched battles. Fair? Not really. Worth starting a campaign over? Yes. Worth declaring war on reason? Most definitely not, but that seems to be what happened when the more extremist people inevitably took over.
Yet, in a small way, I can understand some of their rage, if not their fear.
I dislike the way men are portrayed in the media.
I understand, but still get actively annoyed when out walking in the evening and a woman sees me and crosses to the other sidewalk - just in case. Hey lady, I am just walkin' here!
I get furious in the supermarket when I see a scared child and do not dare help, in case it is assumed I am leading the kid away.
I get totally incandescent when my kids cannot go to the local playgroup and make friends, simply because it would be their Dad taking them. (Yes, I have been told directly that my five minute presence dropping them off and picking them up would be considered upsetting.)
All relatively small complaints, I guess, in the scheme of things. Having, so I am told, white, cis-male, heteronormative privilege still does not make using me as an excuse to hurt my daughters something that I will tolerate. Equality and respect should work both ways.
Our rights are supposedly defined for us. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness is the usual quote. To paraphrase a wise man** "A drowning man has no right to life. A prisoner has no right to liberty. The right to the pursuit of happiness is not the right to over-ride others rights."
Really, the only concrete rights we have are laid down in the Miranda Rights.
The right to remain silent, or speak up and be held accountable.
The right to equal and equitable treatment for all.
There is something truly messed up in the world when the only time you get treated as all should be treated all the time is when you get arrested.
** Robert Heinlien - Starship Troopers. The film was dire, but the book is rather good in a prosy way. Check it out.
That part about the court allowing a woman to hire a hitman for her husband was heinous. The strive for equality this day and age has become an all-consuming monster that won't stop until African American lesbian women mixed with Native American are receiving a monthly paycheck of one million dollars.
"...African American lesbian women mixed with Native American are receiving a monthly paycheck of one million dollars." -> WOW. Talk about hiring a hitman indeed. You just sounded like one of those dbags.
Aron, you are an ignorant, sexist person whose woman bashing shows what a despicable person you are. Grow up and get an education, you petty loser. As for MM, interesting post, always like to read your opinion.
I do not understand how a dad at the park or playground would be upsetting, that breaks my heart and kills me a little. Dads are THE BEST at pushing swings, and spinning the merry go round really really fast, And not to sound sexist, because some moms might be offended by this, but if there's a creeper or pervert at the park, I'd much rather a dad there, especially mine, since he's a cop. Well, now I'm an adult, but when I was a kid, it felt safer to have dad there. That's not even counting outdated game like, let's say catch. When you're a kid, dad can push a swing to the moon, and protect you from all the monsters, why would people want to take that away.....I know that idea perpetuates gender roles, and I actually have a very liberal feminist mother, but whats wrong with a dad being a dad?
I still find the mensactivism stuff disgusting though, equality does not mean vilainizing women and feminists.
Sorry, but i am a girl and have to agree with Aron- i do think people are reaching a little to far with the 'equality' thing, when really its an attempt to practically give women superior rights over men. Its not there yet, but if it can be tolerated for a woman to hire a hitman to kill her husband- idont think we are far off.
as for getting an education? Arent you (betty) the one thats using petty name calling in the first place?
While I do agree that Nova Scotia has gone a little too far with the hitmen, that comment sounded so off-the-track for me. Inequality will be attained if minorities get paid for one million dollars a month?! Are you serious??! So inequality is all about money now?! If that's what it's all about, my gawd!, everybody's getting it wrong then!
You're so far off the point, you can't even see the satire. My problem with some of these "equality" struggles is that they go too far onto the opposite end and translate into unearned benefits. I know I wouldn't feel safe in any part of the world where the law finds it justifiable to allow a woman to hire a hitman for her husband, and I'm glad I live in a society where jail time and community service suffice.
I don't know about this feminist hivemind business, but men have a right to be upset when modern society is so strongly biased in a female's point of view. Where's the equality when women get the automatic BOTD?
Why I left your comment up. Have got to know you pretty well over the months and figured it was a total satire.
Damned close to the tone on these sites though! Well done.
Satire doesn't work for some of us who are actually part of those minorities who want equality because the truth hits us very close to home. It's a struggle for us even to live in communities where jail time and community service suffice. :(
"Half-way through making The Great Dictator I began receiving alarming messages from United Artists ... but I was determined to go ahead, for Hitler must be laughed at." - Charlie Chaplin. Some times satire is the only positive way to deal with the really difficult issues. It puts things in perspective, you know, turns those mountains back into mole hills, that can be delt with far more easily.
If Aron was being satirical with that dumb line, satire has lost its beauty to me. Don't even compare him to Chaplin.
Charlie Chaplin is great because his satire was targeted on the heinous force that was Hitler and not the Jews and the "undesirables". And THAT is why Chaplin was successful when he did his satire work.
And by the way, I personally know an African American mixed with Native American who was abused, raised her son alone and still is surviving on her own. She's not lesbian and has never seen a million dollars in her life, but still is one of the most courageous person I've known.
So please... Next time you try to be a wise nut and write satire, make sure you target the right people.
Murder is not okay, no argument. And all persons should be awarded equal rights regardless of gender. But we do in fact live in a world where the overwhelming majority of domestic abuse and sexual assault crimes go unreported because the victim (almost always female) is either not believed or blamed for the crime. In Canada, 1 in 6 women suffer sexual assault (approx. 1 every 17 minutes or so), and the numbers on other forms of domestic abuse are impossible to find stats on because nearly all of it goes unreported. Many in society are so ignorant of the truth behind these crimes that we've made barely any steps at all toward preventing them, let alone bringing the perpetrators to justice.
"Society is so strongly biased in a female's point of view. Where's the equality when women get the automatic BOTD?" = Utter Bullshit.
I view mens rights activists as not unlike radical feminists. They take a worthwhile issue, project all of their personal resentments and unhappiness (which can usually be traced to chaotic family or romantic history) onto "men's rights" or "women's rights" and demonize the opposite sex primarily because they have never found happiness with any member of it. I think rad fems and men's rights activists have some growing up to do.
Totally agree with you snakearms. It's a long way for societies to get there, even here in the US when other countries are just starting.
Apart from the "Man's right to see his children, even after a messy divorce, which I totally agree with," I think these people are unmitigated, whining, pathetic folk who degrade the entire concept of manliness. Sort of along the lines of complaining about a paper cut to someone missing their arm.
I was thinking about the woman in Nova Scotia, and how it would have been if I were in her place. The report said she actually contacted the police. But if the "law" could not protect her and she comes home all the time in danger and always fearing for her life, what options does she have? I'm pretty sure her friends and family know, or do they? And I'm pretty sure her husband had threatened her if she told other people of his behavior. I guess the bad thing over this issue is how the media (or the writers of that website) sensationalized this one issue dragging along the rest of men's activism/feminism and completely missing the core of the matter.
It's easy for us to say she should just have gone back to the police or pack her bags and move, blah-blah-blah. But when we're dealing with an abusive man who constantly punches you and threatens you at gunpoint, how long of a life do you have waiting for the law and other people to help you?
"If, on the other hand, the allegations of abuse are false, why did the legal system fail Michael Ryan? First, he tried to divorce his wife and get custody of their daughter because, frankly, his wife was a little nuts. Then his in-laws beat the crap out of him and his girlfriend with a galvanized pipe. Then his estranged wife tried to hire a hitman to kill him." ---> And this is the other side of the story. Ahhh, interesting case indeed.
Just read this from here:
http://nicolemueller.wordpress.com/2011/04/07/nicole-ryan-an-interesting-case-in-canada/
As a single mom with full custody (for reasons that I think almost everyone would agree with), I don't get weirded out by dads at the park or anywhere else - unless they're just weird of course. It usually makes me a bit sad because I wish my daughter had a dad to take her to the park and spend time with her.