You just scored a date with a brand new guy. Gold star for you! What's your next move, hot shot? Do you ...
a) Brainstorm some clever first date chit-chat?
b) Finish the report your boss so rudely demanded even though you're clearly busy picking a first date outfit?
c) Click on over to the interwebs and let your fingers do the stalking? (Must. Know. Everything. About. Boy. IMMEDIATELY!!)
Be honest - we're all C-cups on this one. Google stalking is de rigueur first-date duty these days.
There's even a new "premarital detective service" in India that allows women to find out everything about their husbands-to-be. Wouldn't it be cool to have Magnum P.I. investigating your suitors? At least you'd know if a guy sucks before you waste three dates and an inevitable 3:00 a.m. breakfast-o-shame at Denny's with him.
I'm as guilty of Dude Googling (Doodling?) as the next gal. But is there such a thing as TMI when it comes to dating? Should we really know everything about a guy before we, well, know him?
Fact-checking where a guy went to kindergarten, what he last listened to on his iPod and when he became a fan of Mexican wrestling - before we've even laid eyes on him - takes all the suspense out of seduction.
Do we have to forgo the thrill of romantic surprise for the sake of online safety? What's left to talk about over our greasy Grand Slams?
Enough pondering - time to ask the guys your questions! Send them your burning Q's about how much info is too much info when it comes to stalking. I mean dating.
LOL. This was hilarious. I facebook everyone I meet. Dates get a google search too.
I've never Googled a guy, but if I like someone, I'll look him up on Facebook to see if he's single.
Kelly -- I think that's a great plan, much better than full-on Google Stalking. You just earned your I'm A Big Girl Now points for the day!
I think going all out to find every detail you can about someone new is intrusive. What if you find out they did something bad? I'm not talking like jail bad but just something you don't personally agree with bad? What would you do then? Sit there and let it nag at you until they bring it up? Drop them without letting them know what happened that made you change your feelings? What would you do?
I think it's far better to let them reveal things over time rather than finding it all out at once through the internet. Who knows that bad thing they might have done they may feel bad now and can explain it, where with the internet all you get to see is that they did it not how they later may have felt bad or tried to fix it. So personally i'd rather them tell me things bit by bit in their own time rather than have things like exes or past deeds looming above me waiting and wondering if they may say something or not. Plus when you take time to find things out it adds more to the closeness and bond for the two of you.
Keep some of the mystery alive! If you must go find stuff out then I'd say keep it on facebook, twitter or myspace cuz you can find out a lil more info on things they like/dislike without ruining a potentially great thing by hearing of their past deeds or how many exes they have.
I don't know...the whole Google thing seems a terrible invasion of privacy. But I'm also thinking since I know several cops on a first-name basis, I can give them some info and have them scan it through their system, at least so I know if they have any felony warrants out for their arrest! Everything else I can probably find out on my own.
they wrote about this over at thefrisky not that long ago.
http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-girl-talk-i-googled-my-dates-until-one-of-them-googled-me/ (i hope posting links is allowed!)
...all things considered, google stalking doesn't seem worth the effort to me.
isn't that the point though? to find out if there is something bad in their past? i know that why i facebook stalk, i want to know upfront if they have a crazy stalker ex girlfriend who would hurt me if i went on a date with the guy, or if he has mommy issues, or even little stuff like we're different religions or political views. that is the kind of stuff you'd find out on the first date (or second or third) anyway, so why not save yourself an awkward meal after you find out he is homophobic and pro life, and instead you can go out with someone who suits you better
@roxy: With that reasoning, the actual dates you go out on will be few and far between, AND you'll miss out on a lot of nice guys. I think most people tell themselves at first that they're just Googling to find out if there's anything really incriminating, but next thing you know you're debating whether the fact that he listens to Gavin Degraw is a dealbreaker.
It's like the 2.0 version of going out on mutual-friends-arranged blind dates, and the mutual friend calling you up 20 times beforehand because the guy keeps thinking of ever-more-specific questions. "Wait...what was her major in college? How many older brothers does she have? How does she feel about PETA?" etc. (I speak from personal experience.)
It's ridiculous. To guys and girls: find out the basics - the REAL basics - and don't get bogged down in the list of 8000 specific qualities and views the potential date needs to meet before you'll go out with them. Go out with them and find out for yourself- it's much better than getting the information 2nd- or 3rd-hand.
This is why I scrupulously weave copious amounts of false information into all of my online personae. That and big words. Confusion's the name of the game.
...Aren't you married?
He probably does this BECAUSE he's married...there are some real freak shows out there who would love to get their hands on him, wife or no. Sideshow Bob looks positively normal compared to some of these whack-jobs on the World Wide Weave. Remember, SSB even scared Bart Simpson, and Bart doesn't scare easily.
...Aren't you married, Swaim?
double post