Guys, have you ever Googled an ex? Author Helen Schelman just wrote an essay about becoming addicted to her ex-boyfriend's blog after googling him. Do you think Googling an ex or reading an ex's blog is harmless fun or a super-duper bad idea?
Girls' BFF says:
I think this one can go both ways. Sometimes your ex is just that hilarious and that much of an entertainer that as long as he's just writing about life and its nuance then it's okay. But if he's a relationship blogger or something then I would suggest against it. You never know when he might write something that makes you flip your wig and go all apesh*t in the comments or something. Not to mention (as has happened to me) you (ladies) might assume that he's actually talking about you when he isn't thinking about your narrow behind at all and then decide to email him and get all in his business for no reason only to get told that not only is he not thinking about you but he stopped thinking about you a long time ago. Ya know, hypothetically speaking. You know what? Skip it. Don't read his blog at all.
Mystery man says:
If the breakup was clean and a long time ago then there is no real harm in it, though ex-stalking is always a little bit tacky. Only mild shock I have had from googling an ex is discovering the one I don't keep in touch with (the insane one) had a kid while in jail.
Chic Geek says:
We've all Googled an ex before. It happens. Curiosity killed the cat (and sometimes the new relationship). But the real test of whether you're totally over him (or her) is whether you can go cold turkey in the Google/Facebook stalking department. Because it's all too easy to keep tabs on an ex these days.Ten years ago, you had to either run into your ex at the supermarket with their new spouse or hear what they're up to second hand through friends or friends of friends. Sometimes you (gasp!) never found out. You know the scene in old movies where someone reads about their ex getting married in the paper? That would never happen now because the person would have found out their ex was engaged way before on Facebook. We have far too much potential for real-time contact with exes. What good will reading their daily updates on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, etc. do? Breaking up means you're (ostensibly) out of their life. Why do you want constant updates? Stop before you Google. You'll feel better about yourself at the end of the day.
Funny Guy says:
I'd put this in the bin of "too easy not to, semi-harmful, and sometimes rewarding curiosity." We Google our ex's for one of two reasons: to make sure they are doing worse than us, and to remind ourselves what their boobs looked like.
I've never stumbled upon anything too wild in my keyboard travels. A marriage, a kid, a fledgling music career, a bad acting reel, a pretentious yoga studio, still perky, now flabby. You know, the basics.
Reformed Player says:
I think it's a bad idea, solely because nobody likes that moment when they discover their ex has found someone else and moved on. It also proves you yourself haven't moved on, even if doing so would be a great idea. When I moved after college, my girlfriend and I broke up. When, six months later, I picked up with somebody else, I actually got an angry phone call from her after mentioning it on my blog. That was not a fun experience for either of us, so it's best to avoid it.
Gal Pal says:
You know what's better than reading your ex's blog? Writing your own blog about how happy you are with your new boyfriend. He will read it. Trust me. Living - and blogging - well is the best revenge! (OK, that said, I've definitely Google'd an ex now and then. But I try to think of it as watching a new episode of an old TV show I haven't watched in years. At times entertaining, funny, cringe-inducing...but it's best to change the channel after 22 minutes or so.
Wise-Ass says:
Ladies - what did you learn after Googling your ex??
I learned online that a guy I dated in high school (before I moved away) got married and had a baby right after graduating....
I still keep in touch with my exes . . . when we said we'd remain friends, we meant it! I don't obsess over them, they don't obsess over me. We simply care about each other as human beings, and (like any other friends) we like to know what's going on in each other's lives on a basic level. They have qualities that I really admire and I like seeing what they're up to--the one who was always so kind is now such a good dad, and the one with the artistic talent is making quite a career for himself, etc. I fell in love with them for those qualities, and just because we are no longer romantically involved, doesn't mean I no longer care about them.
Funny. I don't have my first ex as a friend on Facebook and Google has yielded no results (I guess that pretty much answers your question). We live in the same small town and yet I rarely see him. I am dying to know what he's up to even though it's been years since we broke up and we've both dated other people. It's just curiosity on my part, but man, I wish we could have kept in touch.
I learned that he broke out into a full body rash and his relationship with the girl he cheated on me with failed to go anywhere...he also failed to get a new job, do anything of any value, and go anywhere as a human being. Ultimately, I learned (again) that I did an amazing thing for myself by kicking him to the curb; it was totally an ego boost.
I've kept in touch with all of my exes. Except during the period immediately after the breakup when emotions were flying high, I've never wished any of them to be doing bad. When I have heard or learned an ex did have it really bad, I never felt any satisfaction or good feelings about it.
If you're still googling your ex, then you ain't over him/her. Move on. Trust me, they forgot about you a LONG time ago.
I know a guy who is continually googling his ex. They broke up seven years ago. And he wonders why he can't seem to fall in love with anyone else? Duh!