If you're like me, you're slightly obsessed with the drunken, orange mutants on Jersey Shore. The first season was a highly entertaining parade of booze, terrible dance music, fights, GTL, and Snooki falling down a lot. But so far this season, a level of predictability has seeped in. I know, I know, what should I expect from a bunch of talentless famesluts, right? Still, there's a sad repetitiveness to the Jersey Shore gang's behavior this season, particularly in terms of their dating and relationship choices.

So in honor of Snooki, JWoww, Sammi Sweetheart, Ronnie, Vinny, The Situation, DJ Pauly D, and Angelina's favorite pastime, here's a drinking game to enhance the enjoyment of Jersey Shore season two. Of course, GuySpeak, and its parent company GuySpeakGloboChem Industries, in no way endorses the over-consumption of alcohol. For the sake of your liver, please drink responsibly. Or use Coke Zero or something.

-- Take a drink whenever Sammi Sweetheart tells Ronnie that she, "can't even look at him right now" and then immediately lets him in her bed. Take an extra drink whenever she uses the words "right now" in a sentence.

-- Take a drink every time JWoww attempts to push her surgically-enhanced chest up to her chin.

-- Drink whenever Sammi Sweetheart stupidly takes Ronnie back for the 1,000th time while wearing her Tina Fey "smart girl" glasses.

--Drink whenever The Situation tries to coin a new acronym. I'll give the guy "GTL." GFF? WTF, Situation? Most of what that guy says is a verbal train-wreck.

-- Take a shot every time JWoww mentions her pals Joey Yanks and Jay420. (Will we ever see them? They're like the Norm's wife on Cheers of this show.)

-- Drink whenever Snooki gets into a shouting match on the phone with her drunken meathead boyfriend Emilio. Here's a tip: if he's always calling you from the club, he's probably not marriage material. 

--Drink every time Ronnie calls Sammi "bro." Warning: Do not drink every time he says "bro." You will die from acute alcohol poisoning within minutes.

-- Drink whenever Angelina says she wants to be friends with everybody and then lies or does something crappy---OMG why did they even bring her back she is literally the worst!  

-- Drink whenever The Situation refers to a woman as a "water buffalo," a "hippopotamus," or by any other horribly sexist term. The man makes $5 million a year, folks. And they say we're in a recession.

-- Take a drink whenever Snooki can't see over the counter at the gelato store. She's so tiny and orange! Tim Burton so needs to cast her as an Oompa Loompa in the next Willy Wonka movie.

Got any other entries for the Jersey Shore drinking game?