WHAT? That is so not okay. I've never been in a fight in my life, but if one of my friends did that to my girlfriend I'd be on him like a zombie on sweet, sweet brains. My fists would reign down with a fury. I'd get all Mortal Kombat on the dude and rip his spine from his body while yelling "Fatality!" Also, that person would no longer be my friend. What I wouldn't do is shrug it off.  I certainly wouldn't say, "Sorry he molested you, honey. That's just Gary!" 

You need to dump this guy. It's only going to get worse. This guy's lack of a backbone puts your personal safety in jeopardy. What else is he going to allow? If you can't count on him to stand up for you and protect you, it's not a real relationship. You don't need to be with someone who picks fights all the time, but your guy should have your back if someone gets in your face. And he certainly shouldn't shrug off the fact that his psycho friend felt you up. Allowing something like shows he doesn't really care about you. At the very least, he should have yelled at his friend and then never spoken to him again. What sort of a man allows that to happen? If he really loved you, he would have stood up to his friend. Dump him and find someone who isn't a spineless weasel. 

1. Sign up for a self-defense class.

2. Sign up for a new boyfriend - one with class, respect and a maturity level beyond that of a fifth grader.

Probably because it is totally OK. He didn't spring, fully formed, from the brow of a god, you know. He grew up, learned through experience, and became the guy you want to be with. A guy formed by his past. Some of that guy you want to be with was formed by his experiences with his ex.

So why should he forget that and dump the reminders? Something that helps you remember good times is nice to have. Look around your room for a minute - how many of the things you have are from your past? You really shouldn't be jealous of someone he left before winding up with you. As long as he isn't reading them in front of you, ignore it. Mainly because it is none of your business.

I once stumbled upon old love letters a boyfriend left lying out after a move. Reading the same words he'd said to me, words I believed he'd spoken only to me, now addressed to some other strange name, felt like a knife in the back. I was momentarily outraged. But then I remembered the stash of old love letters I keep in my closet. And then I remembered to feel embarrassed over my outburst. There's an old Patsy Cline song you might hum in moments like this: "I've got your picture, she's got you." 

 

You state that your man has "made it clear" his past sexual experiences were safe. That's a great start. It shows a level of maturity and a history of mindful, health conscious choices. But for some women or men this verbal vow of being "clean" may feel as comforting as Charlie Sheen vowing to not call TMZ once a day. It's not to be easily trusted.  They require further proof. This isn't probing, it's being responsible. As one of our worst presidents often said, "trust, but verify."

After all, your man could be white lying, or more likely be unaware of his actual health status. Condoms aren't fail proof. He may be conveniently forgetting about that one nighter in Cancun, or the one time he "barely slipped it in" that mailman back home. This is all to say, if you want further proof you can suggest both of you go down to your local right-wing protested health clinic and request a full STD work up.  

 

It's not a punishment, it's a savvy field trip. Sure, this can be awkward and sort of unsexy, but guess what? It's better than finding out 5 weeks later that you have a crew of crabs living in your crotch, or a stubborn case of gonorrhea all up in ya.  Hell, maybe you'll discover you're the one with a low level STD cootie and can protect him in the process.

Why not got together and make it a date? I think Groupon should make this the deal of the day sometime - two-for-one STD testing. Seriously, get the test. Knowing is half the battle, G.I. Joe.

I see two problems here. Let's start with your boyfriend. He is wrong to try to pressure you to have sex in the light when he knows it makes you uncomfortable, and he's certainly wrong to be angry (or surprised) when you turn him down. He takes it as a rejection of him, which it isn't. In fact, I suspect it has very little to do with him.

The second issue is that you have body issues that you need to address. As you said, you feel chubby and awkward, so you try to hide your body from him by only having sex in the dark. That's no way to live. There's a lack of trust in your relationship, a fear of rejection, and I'm wondering if he has said anything to make you feel badly about how you look or if the problem is just your own insecurities.

Body issues are fairly common, especially in women, but the problem with body issues is that they are also soul issues. Not only do you hide your flesh from your boyfriend, but you're holding back part of your heart, the part that is afraid that if he gets a good enough look at you in the bright light, he'll bolt for the door and never come back. Your shame and fear are like a sheet of clear plastic between you and him; you can both touch your hands to the sheet and feel each other's warmth, but you're not making real contact. 

You need to talk candidly about this problem and the shame, fear and rejection each of you is feeling. I think you both need to feel assured that your partner loves you exactly as you are, and that you can trust them not to bail on you just because you aren't perfect. You were drawn together for a reason, and even if your body has changed, the core "you" -- your soul, heart, mind -- is the same one that sparked the other's interest in the first place.

Do you think it would help to play a sexy song, take a flirty shower together or put on an outfit that makes you feel irresistible? The key is to find the right frame of mind for sex, which may be more of a challenge during daylight hours or with the fluorescents flicked on. Also, you might try building up your body confidence by spending more time by yourself in the nude, or ask your BF to light a few flattering candles rather than bright overheads. Take the time you need, work on appreciating yourself, and you'll get there when you're ready. The great news is you already know your boyfriend finds you hot in broad daylight, so try to see yourself through his deeply appreciative eyes, rather than your own judgmental ones. 

This is the kind of thing that depends almost entirely on personality. Yes, there are guys who demand that any woman they sleep with have flawless skin, perfect hair and the body of a goddess. They're usually 300 pounds of zit-studded, unshowered flab. High standards explain why they're still virgins, you see.

Each person has different dealbreakers, but very few of them are really centered solely around looks, and if they are, it's more about what the looks reflect about your personality. Most guys are hardly flawless themselves and are well aware of that fact, so they're not going to be too hard on somebody who isn't perfect.

And honestly, if you're getting naked with a guy, and he's checking your hips for stretch marks, I'd be more concerned about his disinterest in sex with you, myself. It seems like not wanting to be with you due to minor details is a bigger dealbreaker on your end than a few physical imperfections are on his.

If a guy is into you sexually, you'll know it before your clothes come off. He's not going to judge you for "America's Next Top Model," he's not going to examine the curvature of your tummy, he's going to try to get into your pants. Winning this game is truly about FEELING sexy and confident, not pulling out a magnifying glass to go through your perceived "imperfections."

No, you're not overreacting. While I understand what he's saying - to a degree - the fact is that if he always does it makes you seem marginal. You're just the person he's there with, not somebody anybody else needs to know exists.

Dat very rude.

The fact that you mentioned it to him and his immediate reaction was, "Well, those people aren't important," let's you know his mind is in the wrong place. He should have said, "Baby, I'm sorry. You are important to me and I'm not trying to make you feel important. I will do better."

And the next time you all were out, he should have made it a point to introduce you to people. Because you know what, other people notice when somebody DOESN'T get introduced. It's awkward for everybody. So you have a legitimate beef there, chica. All you can really do is keep letting him know how you feel, and if he keeps letting you know that how you feel is wrong...well, you should very well know where you stand.

Dat very rude indeed. Some of the commenters suggested this fellow may just be bad with names, but it sounds fishy that this is happening consistently. I think this woman should start introducing herself, "I'm Janice, Matt's girlfriend. It's so nice to meet you." Check Matt's reaction, check his friends' reaction and then decide if he needs to check himself before he wrecks himself.