I think you may be pretty spot-on accurate. If a guy refers to you as merely "beautiful or pretty" then its fully possible that he maybe viewing you through a more thorough lense that doesn't just include your sex appeal. If a man only ever refers to you as "sexy or hot" I do think that he is referring more to the sex appeal or lustful center you possess.

Now, it's important to state that you can be both beautiful and sexy and I'd imagine that's the ultimate compliment to a woman. I've learned that there is something about being called beautiful that makes a woman feel special. If your man never calls you that but is always referring to your sex appeal, I think its perfectly reasonable to say that he might not really view you in a future light.

Just like you can be both beautiful and sexy, it is wholly possible to be sexy as the dickens and very unpretty. I know this chick from college who had more sex appeal than Angelina Jolie naked on a beach but left so much to be desired in terms of her facial pleasure principle. In a nutshell, if a guy calls you beautiful he thinks a lot of you. If he just calls you hot, he thinks a lot of your booty.

Learn how to take a compliment! Who cares if he's saying you're beautiful, sexy, gorgeous, cute, adorable, winsome, sprightly, Sphinx-like? He's saying something nice! Reward him for that - take the compliment graciously and keep it in your heart for a rainy day (all the while remembering that words are nice, but actions count). 

You want him totally out of your head? Sleep with him. 

Before you go galloping off thinking I was actually being serious there, hold up a second.

We all want what we can't have. That is part of simply being human, the part that salespeople use mercilessly to get us to buy useless crap. If the Tree of Knowlege had a sign on it saying "Take all you want," we'd still be in the Garden of Eden. (Pick your own myth if that one is not to your liking.) You already know the answer.Time and distraction. That is the only thing that works. Sorry.

And therapy, my dear. Time and distance haven't yet worked for you, so you may need a little extra help getting on with your own life. And that's fine! That's good! We all need help with things in our lives sometimes. Go get that help so you can start living for yourself again. It takes a brave woman to realize that the impossible-to-know future without him will certainly be better than all this current unhappiness with him swimming around your mind constantly. Whatever you do, don't downgrade your problem by sleeping with someone else's boyfriend, like this poor lady:

Advice? No. Harsh truths? I've got plenty!

So, let me get this straight: you like the guy enough to break his girlfriend's heart, apparently there's some sort of shared lust (those "feelings" he supposedly has for you, which, trust me, he doesn't), but there's no actual relationship potential here since you yourself would never date him. And your excuse is "If it wasn't me, it'd be somebody else?" Really?

What you're doing is wrong, and I can tell from your question and your lame justification that you know it's wrong. So knock it off. Bad enough you've decided to hurt somebody else so you can have a human vibrator, don't compound it by trying to shove off the blame.

From someone who's been the girlfriend in this scenario, I'm begging you to stop immediately. You're destroying a lot of people and I promise that you will indeed regret it one day. Sure, he may cheat with someone else if not with you, but why would you want to volunteer for that crappy honor? Get away from him. There are millions of unmarried guys out there you can have crushes on, sleep with and never date. Trust me, it won't be a problem.  

Did you make a mistake? No. And yes. More no than yes. Like 90/10.

To demand something might not have been the best approach. I don't know how strongly you demanded, but I tend to lump demands and ultimatums in the same undesirable basket. That basket is Things To Which People Don't Usually Respond Well Because No One Likes To Be Told What To Do Or Bullied Into Doing It.

If you had said you asked him to stop seeing her, I would say you're blameless, because you are absolutely right that this little habit of his is ridiculous. Six to twelve dinners a year? Just the two of them? Oh hell no. Your ex comes to town, you take her to lunch, not dinner, and you give your current girlfriend the option of accompanying you. But first you ask if she is okay with it. You don't ignore her for days while you're playing Remember When? with a former lover. That's just not appropriate.

So, no, you weren't mistaken to be upset about him doing this, nor were you wrong to want him to stop. Requests become demands in the blink of an eye when you're pissed off and hurt. A minor mistake, though; as I said, you're more than justified to make a stand about this.The fact that he sees her this much in the first place is a red flag in my book; if, on top of that, he refuses to bend on the subject, then you're better off staying split and finding someone who knows the meaning of consideration and compromise.

I appreciate Cary's nuance, but I'm going to say you were 100% correct in ending things with him. His behavior is completely inappropriate. You said this is happening three or four times a year, so although this break-up might feel abrupt, I don't this was the first time you let your feelings be known on the topic. He's obviously trying to keep two relationships going at once. And the fact that he won't introduce you to her (he basically dumps you everytime she comes to town) makes it fairly evident that he's hiding your existence from her. Whatever happens in your romantic life, you don't want to be the girl a guy hides from people. You want to be with a man who is proud of you and his relationship with you. So unless he makes a definitive break with her and shows you the proof of that, I'd stick to your guns - 100 percent.

Pretty much. Sorry. At best, you're a fallback plan. Sure, it would be nice if life played out like an '80s movie and the guy was actually talking about you when he was asking advice on Maci or Brooke or whatever her name is. But what he's really doing is getting insight into the female mind through a friend. 

There are few clearer signs that you've been sent to the "friend zone" then when the object of your affection asks you for relationship advice. It means they see you as, in the words of the Golden Girls theme song, a pal and a confidante. Pretty soon he'll start whining to you about how the girl of his dreams won't give him the time of day. You'll spend the occasional evening watching bad movies, playing video games and eating junk food together, which will mostly dry up once he gets a girlfriend. But have your shoulder ready, because he'll call you in tears when said girlfriend dumps him. One night, the unholy cocktail of booze, loneliness and comfort masking as attraction could lead to an awkward makeout session. If this happens, expect him to grow distant for a while until he starts dating someone else and feels like he can be friends with you again without any weirdness. 

Oh, friend-o. That's super disappointing. But take Nick's advice and don't let him take advantage of your generosity toward other women. Instead, I'd turn the tables and ask him for some help landing a guy. You never know, he might have some good pointers for you.

Of course it's OK. Telling him you love him first, or even telling him you love him and not getting a response, doesn't negate the fact that you love him. Love is a hard thing to articulate, but an even harder thing to find.

Once that four-letter word rolls off your heart a giant firecracker has been lit. Naturally, something big has been set in motion. Will he...

1. Tell you he loves you

2. Tell you he doesn't love you 

3. Want to make a serious change (good or bad) in your relationship

4. Piss himself, shed tears of blood and turn into an Avatar

So, there are only two things to do: play it safe and mute or recognize that saying "I love you" is not only a gift for the person in front of you, but perhaps an even greater gift for yourself. A personal declaration that your soul has been touched and wants more -- and that's worth screaming about.

I love you all! There, I said it first. Have a great weekend and thanks for playing, guys and girls!