Do it. You both just met tonight, the music is thumping, and you're both drunkatronic, right? Make out at the bar. Live a little.
Who cares what anyone else thinks. Pucker up! Make-a da kissy! Is it trashy? Yes. But do you think the classy have any fun? Butlers, and Grand Dames, and mustachioed colonels with monocles? Balderdash. The only good times they have are post-tea cake naps and bidets. Trashy is fun. It's sexy. It's what you should do if the mood strikes you.
Make out at the bar, I won't judge you. I'll be spying on you from across the way, but I won't be judging you. I'll probs just smile, and get on with my business.
The only people who are against public displays of affection are those who aren't getting any. Or small town preachers whose plan to outlaw dancing backfires. Or time-traveling Puritans from Salem, Massachusetts. But mainly, it's just hideously deformed goody-goodies who couldn't get their jiggle pillows fluffed if they put an ad and their credit card numbers out on Craigs List.
There is nothing wrong with healthy signs of attraction between two people at the mall, or a restaurant, or in a park. What's wrong with a couple nuzzling on a public bus? Or licking necks in the fresh produce aisles? Why are so many people opposed to a pair of elderly lovers kneading, caressing, and hungrily grasping wrinkled, liver-spotted skin hanging like boiled cabbage off of brittle bones?
It's beautiful! Natural! As the poet wrote: you've got to let love rule.
This is on my mind because I was at a bar the other weekend, waiting for my superfox to show up. As I waited, I observed the revelry. Dozens of people were drinking, dancing, enjoying a well-deserved Friday night. From across the bar, I zeroed in on a woman and a man being introduced. The woman was being dragged by her friends, each of which had tanned skinned as brown as a therapists leather couch. She was nearly pushed into the man, who was accompanied by a friend who conducted his end of the introduction. The man's friend was part bank teller, part Rainforest --his nose, pits, and forehead wept.
The man and woman sheepishly shook hands. The tanned banshees giggled and did some shots. The sweat monster bought a fruity drink for a lady who was all eyes and neck, no nose or neck. The man had a crew cut, a blue shirt he'd worn many times before, and khaki pants that gave him an older lesbian's bubble butt. The woman wore her snow white hair in a pony tail. She obviously was one of those people whose laugh was so adorable and believable you'd never know if she was patronizing you or not. She wore three different shades of pink.
The man and the woman talked, and giggled, and leaned into each other for whispers and whatnot. Drinks were ordered. Bob Marley played. They started to make out. Not peck, or tentatively smooch. But a full on exchange of salivary fluids. Tongues darted. Lips were nibbled. The woman's gaggle of unevenly browned harpies sneered. The man's dripping wet wingman blinked uncomprehendingly, as if he'd never seen two people actually kiss up close. A couple of the old men at the bar snickered. A young couple shook their heads disapprovingly.
This dude and dudette had just met that night, and there they were, merging throats by the glow of the bars year round Christmas lights. And, quietly, I saluted them. A proper man salute -- a pint glass of beer lifted, and tilted slightly. Life is over before it begins, and it's too often measured in belches, yawns, and tears. It should be measured in beer kisses, hand holding, and sticky fumbles in dark corners with loved ones or, at the very least, nice strangers. .
So make out at the bar. In the book store. Wherever. If someone says something to you, then laugh at them. Because killjoys and tattle-tales and uppity, holier-than-thou brats all deserve to be laughed at. It is their ultimate destiny. Just do it, if you can. I plant big wet smooches on my superfox every chance I get.
Do I get judged? I have no idea. Anyone who'd judge me getting my mouth on is welcome to choke on big cosmic fireballs.
In conclusion: got a problem with P.D.A? Really? I'm sorry. I suppose it's not your fault your mom never taught you not to stare.
Sadly I'm one of the uptight ones. I was once at a club (first and last of my young life) and people were pretty much dry humping each other. It was weird and looked awful.
c'mooooooooooooon DeVore! it's uncomfortable! What about when you have to squeeze past that tangle of limbs and spit, or if one of their chairs is pressing down on your coat. and lord it's not just an issue of not staring, it's the friggin noises. imagine if i just keep smacking my lips near you. it's annoying, but not nearly as loud or annoying as two people making out! you're being unfair.
Licking necks in the produce isle. fantastic.
I'm not a fan of this. I don't really need to see people making out. If you walked into a room where everyone was making out, it would be uncomfortable, so that means its wrong for one person to do it.
I'm all for taking it back to the car, or where ever.
I live in a large city and I'm not about to take a dude back to my place just to make out with him, so YES I make out in the bar, kind of a lot. I also makeout just outside the bar, in the street. Sometimes I make out on the street while hailing a cab, or just about to go into the subway.
There is nothing wrong with being a bar maker-outer or a street maker-outer, it's pretty much the best thing ever, before you start sleeping with the dude.
Well said, DeVore...I agree wholeheartedly. I've been called out on PDAs before, and my response is the same:
Them: "Get a room!"
Me: "Can I borrow yours since its apparently available for the indefinite future?"
I'll kiss whomever I please, whenever and wherever I please, thank you very much naysayers. And considering I don't mind engaging in PDA, who am I to judge others?
Noises, they happen. Considering we're talking about PUBLIC displays of affection here, there's generally other noises in the area. So if you're close enough to hear the noises and they bother you, feel free to move away. And no, no snide remarks or glares are necessary. Trust me, if the affection is good enough to warrant going public, they are not going to notice. That said, if the PDA is taking place in a naturally quiet to silent place (church, moment of silence, library, etc)...then they should quiet down. But most people recognize this. If not, feel free to give them a FRIENDLY reminder.
Squeezing past them or needing their chair to get off of your coat? Woman up, be honest and speak up. "Excuse me for a sec while I..." followed by a "thank you" goes a long way in any circumstance.
Life is too short, so don't just seize the day, seize the moment.
Reformed Player! This post could not have come at a better time really! I don't usually troll bars but I met a date there JUST FRIDAY & did the unthinkable...kissed...no, sucked face, IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR. I usually hate PDA, too (but only because I've been single for a while & am totally jealous).
So, I feel less silly after reading this. And, I've seen the guy 3 times since. It's put a hurting on my time on guyspeak, but it's been so so great. And am pretty sure I'm falling very very hard for him. Thanks for another post that makes me feel better (or less loathsome) about myself! :)
This is such a fun post - there's nothing sweeter than those fun, drugged kisses in public - sometimes seen out of the corner of your eye, hopefully as a participant. PDA kisses are one of my top 10 favorite NYC activities ever.
Also - I need to work "jiggly-pillows" into my vocabulary more.
I liked @~m's and @bar-maker outer's viewpoints on this. Forget the judgement and seize the moment (and the Woman Up!). Let's have some fun.
It might be the unquashable romantic in me, but I smile whenever I see a couple oblivious to the world around them. Go for it, and who cares what anybody else thinks.
Except for the time a couple had sex next to me in a night club. I thought they were just making out and dry humping until she got off his lap... That could probably have waited a bit.
I completely agree . . . and am quite guilty of it. Bars, check. Park Benches, check. On the Subway, Off the Subway, check. I think you get the picture. There's nothing wrong with showing some love, as long as it doesn't get X-rated and interfere with traffic.
FULL BLOWN make-outs are Despicable (C'mon, it is) , but mature and loving affections between two people is fine. Ive been to concerts where the only views I had was couples making out and drooling beer foams. I actually dont give a fuk, but I didnt sign up to observe mating rituals on Animal planet.
PDA DISGUSTING Devore, the couples that are real about their wild and passionate love for each other does it behind close doors. PERIOD.
PDA...why that's what miniskirts and going commando is for--all the way PDA!
Can't help it... I think clandestine make out sessions in between the stacks at a library or book store are hot!
????......Im sorry, ya lost me at "drunkatonic".I so cant wait to use that one.thanx!
I totally disagree with this blog entry. You, DeVore, are biased because you have a Girlfriend and like to kiss her in public…and in turn, are hypocritically judging the people who don’t have significant others and get annoyed at other people showing off in-front of them. Imagine if you were starving, and some inconsiderate bloke massacred a giant, juicy cheeseburger right in front of you…saliva, pleasure sounds and all. That’s just not right. Its inconsiderate of the surrounding people. And not just because of jealousy…because sometimes we don’t want to be subjected to the disgusting-ness of seeing/hearing two people we did NOT subscribe to seeing swapping saliva.
Ha! This cracks me up because I just had a party two days ago, and my friend just met my other guy friend and was making out with one of them by the end of the night. Everyone was whispering and telling me how uncomfortable it was, and they told me to talk to them (after they pulled apart). I was just like "Hey, dibbs next!"
yep..and get some herpes while you're at it
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