(Actually me. I get my closure when I peace you out.)

They want to have one final talk. You know what this means don't you? They're just WAITING for you to convince them that you really do love them. Any person who is going to give you an opportunity to explain yourself really doesn't want to leave you. However, they realize that if they take you back without at least putting up a fight of some sort, it makes them look weak. They need a show.

So give it to 'em.

1) Go to God.

A surefire way to always buy yourself some time is to tell your significant other that you prayed about your problems and God told you to change - as in, you've seen the error of your ways. I promise it always works. I tried it 4 times just this morning. For one, who can argue with God? If they do, they look like a heathen (which means you can probably hit on the spot. Score!) Plus, if they really want you back, they'll ACTUALLY believe that you mean it. I suggest getting more animated as you explain. Hell, give a sermon and really sell it.

2) Blame them.

I don't know why more people don't try this. You see, if you're dealing with somebody who wants you back anyway, it's TOTALLY possible that you can convince them that you messed up because of their own actions or lack thereof. For effect, throw in a bunch of non-sequiturs.  That way they really have no clue what's going on. Peep game:

Panama: Girl, if you had just considered how much stress I had then perhaps you'd understand why I make Kool-Aid for my family. Two wrongs don't make a right. What a difference a true love made in my life. Do you understand how much I love you girl?

Chick: No. But you're right. I should have been more considerate. How about some steamed broccoli?

End scene.

And probably THE most effective:

3) Get defensive and don't let themr talk.

As long as you're talking they can't complain. Tell them that you thought they were a person who could handle dating a real man or womanwith real responsibilities. You thought they knew what was hot in the streets. Pretty soon she'll be unzipping your trousers in a broom closet right before you go on stage to perform with your bandmates.

Or wait, was that The Five Heartbeats.

Me no know. But go forth and be fruitful.

Either way, these are some tactics to use when you're trying to buy some more time. Neither Panama Jackson nor Guyspeak can be held liable for any bullet wounds you sustain for attempting these practices.