Gal Pal says:

Of course we know it's a ploy! The bigger question is - do we care? Usually male flirting comes via cheap drinks and cheaper talk. If a guy wants to go the distance and throw in a tactile tactical maneuver, we welcome it with open shoulder tension. A guy with superior massage skills can take advantage of my back knots any day of the week. I'm not going to kiss him, but my muscles will want to makeout with him forever.

I was doodling in my notebook the other day, it turned out to literally be the best drawing I've ever done. I want to show it off on Facebook - but it's based on an old pic of this guy where he looks so kissable, and I'm afraid he'll see it since he always comments on my art.

Chic Geek says:


What are you afraid of? Seems like the perfect icebreaker. If he likes your art, that means he has some level of interest in you. This could be your opportunity to see if there's any sort of spark between you guys. What's the worst that could happen? If he asks if the photo is supposed to be him, just say, "Oh, yeah, I liked that one photo of you. The lighting was really awesome!" You can always say that you liked the photo on an artistic level if you feel awkward about it. He'll probably be flattered that his photo inspired you to create something cool.

Also, never let anyone (particularly a guy) stop you from sharing your art with the world. Every artist draws from their life--be it past relationships or that cute guy or girl you're currently crushing on. Post the drawing and see if he notices. If you're worried about his reaction, drop him an email and mention that it was inspired by his photo. Maybe ask him about how the photo was taken. Bonding over artistic influences is a great way to get to know someone. Perhaps he wants to collaborate on a project? You never know-- it could be the start of an amazing artistic (and possibly romantic) partnership.

Gal Pal says:

Art and love are woven together like a tight French braid. If you try to pull out one section, the whole thing is going to unravel and fall in your face. Artists earn their titles by illuminating intimate, personal experiences for the rest of the world to see. So keep bravely braiding bits of your life into your art - it is the thing that will pull you forward through this crush and all the rest that may come your way.

I "over-called" this guy I've been seeing for four weeks. Several calls, text, email two days after our last date on Sunday. We had tentatively planned dinner for Tues, but he never confirmed. Yes, he said HE would call. Bad judgment on my part and haven't heard from him. How do I fix this?

Mystery Man says:

About the only way you can fix this one is to stay away from him, which may or may not work, but it's your only hope. Guys generally like to do the pursuing, but beyond that the behavior you are describing probably makes him think you are going to off him at some point. Stalking freaks people out like no other activity.

On top of the stalking thing, a guy may think there is something wrong with you if you are that interested in him. It's human nature. If you let him contact you next, there is a chance you can salvage this, otherwise, move on.

Gal Pal says:

I'm not going to do the normal girl thing here and offer you hope that he might call. He's not going to. Please know that this has nothing to do with you. If he didn't call when he said he would, he wasn't going to call you after your first call or your tenth. Some men are great disappearing magicians - charming, enthralling and then poof! - gone before your very eyes. You'll run across these illusionists more than once in your dating life. Don't try to understand their tricks, don't try to rationalize their sleights of heart and don't ever blame yourself. Move on to someone who's best trick is dialing your digits.

I am in college but I have a problem: I don't drink. Everyone else does and it's seemingly the only way to meet people. What should I do? I've been to enough parties sober to know that they are not fun when everyone else is completely wasted. Thoughts?

Wise-Ass says:

You've made a tough decision for the situation you're in and I applaud you for sticking by your guns, whatever your reasons. I also agree with you that it's not much fun to be sober around people who are wasted.

But I disagree with your assertion that everyone in college drinks and it's the only way to meet people. A lot of people drink in college, yes, and a lot of social activity revolves around booze, but not all people or all social activity. There are still plenty of ways to make friends and have fun beyond the frat row kegger or the corner bar, especially on a large campus. You just have to be creative and look a little harder than most to find your niche.

I think your best bet is to get involved with activities that have a focal point other than drinking, whether it's sports or media (campus newspaper, radio, etc) or the arts (music, drama, etc). Yes, I realize that people in sports and media drink -- I worked for my campus newspaper in college and I don't know how it ever got published between all the nights of drinking. But for these groups, booze is a side thing, not the focal point, so there will be plenty of events that aren't hooch-based, and you can skip the ones that are.If you are religious, most campuses have groups for all major religions and denominations. Volunteering is another great way to meet people who are interested in doing more than getting faced every Friday night (not that there's anything wrong with that; to each his own).

If none of that works, you can always hang with the potheads. You a Phish fan?

Gal Pal says:

My favorite memories from college have nothing to do with drinking. They have to do with the sketch comedy group I performed in, the campus newspaper I wrote for and the dorky academic clubs I joined. Surround yourself with more geeky go-getters and theater nerds...you'd be surprised how much fun they're having, no booze necessary.

Why does my boyfriend of six months constantly bring up that he has a six-figure salary? I get it, he makes a lot, but why does he constantly have to mention it to me?

Girl's BFF says:

The reason he keeps telling you that is because he has insecurity issues and that's his way of making himself feel better. He defines himself in terms of his income and wants you to know that he's doing well. And also, to poke at the fact that you might not be. It's his way of making you acknowledge that he is "the man". He has confidence issues and he's a douche. He isn't the first and he definitely won't be the last.

I'd suggest that you let him know that you don't care how much he makes as long as he treats you right. Basically you need to let him know how annoying he is and that unless he stops, he's risking annoying you right out of the door. Some of his issues he will need help working on and he'll have to acknowledge the confidence and security issues. If he won't, you're stuck hearing about his salary for as long as you two are together.

Gal Pal says:

Start dropping your salary (which I'm assuming, by your question, is lower) in front of his friends. "Not to brag, but I'm pulling in low two-figures these days. Next round's on me." He'll get the hint or you'll have to look for someone with a more discreet wallet.

My boss constantly yells at me, tells me I can't do anything right, that I'm stupid. The other day my co-worker, who is friends with him, told me he has a crush on me. This guy couldn't be more cruel to me. Why would he treat me like this if he liked me?

Reformed Player says:

This guy is a psychopath, and that's my unprofessional diagnosis as an internet love troll. I'd start looking for another job. Meanwhile, try your best to only engage him via e-mail, and keep a record of those e-mails in the event that you need them.

I know that sometimes men act like jerks to women they like. Little boys do this, pulling the pigtails of a little girl they have a secret crush on. Men don't always know how to communicate their feelings, or are frustrated by their own lack of courage. I know that personally, I have acted like I don't care around a person I care about deeply. Men sometimes treat women like dirt to get their attention. Women sometimes respond positively to being treated negatively.

Back to your boss: this isn't a dude trying to sweat you. This is your boss. He has power over you and he's abusing it. Oh, he likes you? OMG, maybe he like-likes you! Who gives a shit. This sociopath is a lawsuit waiting to happen. His behavior is inappropriate, unprofessional, and disgusting. Why is he cruel to you, while at the same time, telling people he likes you? Is it because he's a douchebag? Sociopaths never think they're doing wrong because they can't comprehend anyone's feelings but their own. Your so-called friend should be ashamed for trying to defend him by offering up his insane excuse for verbally abusing you.

I mean, let's be honest: maybe you're incompetent. I don't know. You could be. You still don't deserve this treatment. That he "likes" you is irrelevant. The economy sucks, jobs are scarce, but this dude is only going to get worse. One last thing, too. Don't ever be anywhere with him alone. Ever. Cool?

Gal Pal says:

Oh, sweetie, sounds like you're trapped in a work nightmare. Like John said, get those nasty emails from your boss on record. Get witnesses to back up his comments to you. Then contact HR or an employment attorney. Life is too short for abuse from anyone - go find your happily-ever-after job elsewhere.

That's all for this week, thanks for playing, guys and girls!