We here at GuySpeak love to help. Answering your questions and chatting with you in the comments section is what we live for. (Well, that and sandwiches.) And we love to hear your success stories and follow-ups in the comment section.
Therefore, we are inaugurating a new feature where YOU share your GuySpeak success stories. Did our advice help you? What happened after we answered your question? Did things get better, or did we make it worse? We want to know!
To kick things off, reader P has allowed me to share her story with you. She wrote me a while back and suggested that her story could help other readers. I agree, and would love to share it with you. Share your GuySpeak success stories and question follow-ups in the comments. Maybe we'll spotlight your stories in future posts. And thanks to reader P for sharing her story with us.
P writes:
I discovered Guyspeak a few months ago when I found myself Googling "How to get over a douchebag who used to act like he was 'the one' and then changed to become that monster who broke my heart and ran away laughing destroying the awesome, funny and caring person I was."
Boy, that was tough. Especially when you don't fall easily for guys, when you never let anyone in because you're too scared that they'll turn their back on you one day, and that you'll be standing there, your heart in your hand wondering what happened. He was the only guy I loved, the only guy ever I slept with. We had something and then one day he changed and said it was all a joke, that he had felt guilty to sleep with me and was forcing himself to be nice to me for that reason. It's a long story. A story that lead me to move to [location removed] just to see if something could be saved. And I'm clever girl, I usually don't do that kind of stuff. 2 years ago, I would have NEVER done that kind of stuff. But I did. As I said, it's a long story.
I'm writing to tell you that even if your blog is meant to be funny (and it sure is), it has actually helped me a lot understanding what was going on in this guy's head. When I read you, I'm like "F*** yeah, he's right, why should I even bother missing the dude?", and sometimes, I think of him and miss the good parts, I blame myself for having been naive as beginners always are. I blame myself thinking that If I had had more experience with boys, things would have been different. Your blog, and especially YOUR answers help me a lot taking the whole thing, the whole story to a new level and to heal, even if that's the hardest thing I've had to do, heal from him, and boy that's hard.
A few months later, P follows-up:
The guy I told you about (months ago), came back into my life, and I tried to be in control and do things my way. But whatever I do or try to do, it just always ends up with him being a douche and starting a new relationship with someone else, and me being left behind. I don't know what's different now, whether it's me or the situation or whatever but I'm not devastated. My heart hurts like it's been ripped apart but I accept things as they are I guess. I would like to share the story with readers. I have seen a lot of questions lately that kind look like what I went through. I believe that sharing stories help you see things in a different light. Sometimes, all you need is for people to read you and acknowledge your suffering. You just need them to listen.
Nick says:
Hang in there, P! This guy definitely sounds like a raging douchebag. It's tough when he also happens to be the first guy you slept with. As time passes though, you'll realize you don't need him, and that he's more trouble than he's worth. You may look back fondly on aspects of the relationship, but you won't miss his head games at all. So the next time he comes back, remember the pain and heartache he puts you through. And also remember that there is someone WAY better out there for you. And, as always, thank you for reading and for your kind comments.
Do you have a GuySpeak success story or a follow-up to a question we've answered? Let us know in the comments.
This site has helped me in so many different ways; I don’t even know where to begin. I discovered the site about a year and half ago and found it very intriguing. I didn’t ask any questions right away, just read the answers and started commenting on the posts. Commenting on post I think has been one of my favorite things about this site. Being able to help someone by giving your advice from experience or just your own take on the situation is not only great for the OP, but I think Guyspeak users as well.
I really feel that Guyspeak is such a great community. I honestly feel like we are friends trying to help one another out. The members have been great at commenting. No one gets nasty or if someone has harsh words to say, they try and say it with love and care, no judgments. The questions I have asked have been answered with such thoughtfulness and care, and I appreciate that so much.
Another way this site has helped me is in my love life. I recently just started dating someone, and I can say that due to the things that I have read on this site, I am more aware of what my guy could be thinking, and I am also more aware of my own personal relationship mistakes.
So thank you to everyone, The Guys and the Members for being such great and wonderful people.
I was looking for tips about relationships myself when I landed on GuySpeak. I'm mighty glad I did. (I think I've written this down somewhere on this site.)
What's helpful for me is that when I get to read other people's questions, the Guys' answers, then the comments, I get to see different sides of things. Also sharing my own experiences help me explore my thoughts and options (when I'm deciding on something). And just the thought that there are 5 guys and 1 gal who are just a box of question away makes it easier when you're having problems or just want some clarity. It's like having big brothers (or dads) and a big sister looking out for you.
Personally, I don't think to call my current experiences with my significant other a big win yet. Rather, the little successes I have with him so far reminds me that it's true: happiness is a journey, not just a goal. It's been quite a ride especially since this is my first relationship. But I think I'm a little less worried and a little less stupid because I have this site as a resource.
Thank you GuySpeak pips! Seriously. You are all wonderful!
P.S.
Things I REALLY love about this site:
The fact that you 5 guys are breaking a lot of stereotypes about men.
The fact that you 5 guys don't tolerate and condone cheating.
The fact that you 5 guys really want to help.
The fact that you 5 guys are balanced off by 1 single woman. (Ahahaha!)
Faye -- this is such an awesome comment. Thank you for being such a great member of our community. And thanks everyone for sharing your success stories here!
I love reading the answers to all the questions. Sometimes I take away a bit of advice I never even knew I needed.
I was in a relationship that was going badly and happened to log into Facebook when MM was taking quick questions for an hour. I summed up my situation and he came back with "Tell him you need a man and not a child.". It was a quick response on his part, but after I quit laughing I realized that he had managed to sum up my whole situation in 10 words. Something about that response absolutely clicked for me and helped me get my whole situation in perspective.
Being able to get an unbiased males perspective on a situation is invaluable. I love this site. All you guys give great advice!
:D
Thanks, everyone! Good to hear we've helped you.
Nobody has answered a question of mine. :(
What's your question?
The last one was about speed dating. Is it a good idea? What questions do you ask?
MM's answer about telling my boyfriend I had depression was so incredibly, wonderfully helpful. It gave me the courage to finally go ahead and do it, and my boyfriend has been amazingly supportive ever since. Thanks!
Also, I'm the one who asked Wise-Ass last spring about losing my V-card (which he contrasted rather hilariously with a steak or something) and his answer was both hysterical and helpful. Thank you!
So glad things are working! You got a good guy there.
I love all the guys here, but I find WA's advice particularly brilliant and hilarious and genuine. CG runs a close second.
Thank you all for the help.
Thanks, Lauren. You're very kind. I'm glad I have been helpful to you.
I'll be short and sweet.
You've all given better perspective, and have doubtably taught me to be more chilled out, and to wear my heart less on my sleeve but more careful.
Thanks for everything. xxx
I have a soft spot for a couple of you guys.
I just reread my question to Mist about my son in Japan & it STILL pulls at my heart. Mist.., your answer really did help me, help my son. I am so very proud of that young man, but you are right.., he is an adult. I stayed strong for him & fed him stories from home. He probably got tired of pics of the dog though. Life is much better for him now, thanks a bunch!
Cary, every time I go out with a new guy, I remind myself of your answer to my question, “How do I know if a guy wants me for a playmate or potential partner?” A couple of the things you said, are always in my head. “Behavior is key. Words are easy to fake; actions are not.” & “Relationship Guy … gives a crap, and it shows.” It’s very sound advice that should be repeated occasionally. Thank, man!
I would love a few more open chats here & there. If any of you are on FB, give me a heads up, so I can be online & join in. In the meantime, you guys now need figure out how I can keep these walls low enough for someone to get in.
Thank again guys…, you rock!
Thanks, Silky! We definitely have more live chats planned here and on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/GuySpeak) in the future.
Hey Nick, I’m already there. Me & the dog!
Thanks very much, silkysly. That means a lot.
Cary you really put that in perspective for me. I tend to keep guys at arm’s length, but it helped me look more at who was ‘trying’ to be the Relationship Guy with me.
My pleasure, lass. You always give me a laugh or make me think with your comments - what else could I do?
Well Mist..,maybe you can blog about ‘understanding’ the difference between those little red flags & the walls we put up. I’m probably my own worst enemy there. It’s sad when your friends are waiting with bated breath, wondering ‘who will be the one’ you’ll live happily ever after with.
You do like asking tough ones!
Give me a week, I'll see what I can do :)
I think you can handle it. (insert smile)
are you seeing anyone?
I love this site these are like my guy friends they always answer question so honestly and don't hold back anything like most of my girlfriends do I love reading their answers to all the questions if gives me such insight if im ever in that situation myself keep up the good work guys you are all doing a fantastic job helping women and men each and every day work through relationship issues!!!!!